Archive for the ‘Meat Me @ Camera 4’ Category

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by @anarchyroll

When you’re in the presence of someone who is a master of their craft, you’ll only know if they want you to know. When they want you to know, you can’t actually prepare yourself for the experience that awaits you. Imitation and generic is pervasively more commonplace than the real thing these days.

Concerts are held all the time all over the place. You can go to your local dive bar on a certain night and see a band play in the corner and tell yourself you went to a concert. You can see a cover band play on a legit stage and say you went to a concert. You can go to an EDM show and say you went to a festival. But when you are in the presence of a master, you don’t go to a concert or a festival, you go sensory experience.

Derick Vincent Smith is not just another electronic music producer. He is not just another dj. He is not another dude with Ableton and a desire to cash in on the rise of electronic dance music to the pop music trend of this decade.

The rise of the EDM festival scene of the past decade is just another turn in the cycle of music audiences wanting a visual aspect to compliment their auditory experience. Just like the shock rockers and hair bands before them, electronic music festivals give their audiences a show rather than just a group doing a karaoke session on a stage in front of a large group of people.

The customization of each song/track played compared to that of a traditional band playing traditional instruments is only comparable to a jazz ensemble. But while jazz bands are essentially limited to what they can do with their instruments, a master dj like Pretty Lights has the visual element to customize and layer on top of the depth of layers that electronic music enables.

But Pretty Lights combines electronic music, instruments, and visuals.

Layering media on top of each other to create art and not just a bunch of random stuff that’s going on. Creating one thing out of layers and layers of media on media.

  • Lights
  • Lasers
  • Smoke
  • Screens
  • Instruments
  • Turn tables
  • Song samples
  • Original created music material

Layers on layers, racks on racks, experience on experience, all the feels all the way up.

I was obviously expecting to have a good time during the last weekend of summer. What I wasnt expecting was a revelation.

Not about life, nature, humanity, or the universe. But about what it means to be an entertainer, a storyteller, a master of ceremonies, a disc jockey.

To have so many different people, with so many different backgrounds, with so much different things going on individually and collectively, and to put them all on the same frequency is a skill, an art, a science, and a gift.

Pretty Lights is a group of the gifted. And they have chosen to share their gifts with those who choose to join their journey to spread good vibes and be lovers of the light(s).

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by @anarchyroll

How much is nostalgia worth if the nostalgia is mandatory to enjoy something in the present?


I certainly can’t say that I didn’t enjoy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles : Out of the Shadows. I also can’t say that I liked it for any other reason than the flashbacks down memory lane. The memories of playing with action figures while watching the cartoon or going nuts on the arcade games with friends; were required to look past the gigantic holes in quality that is the second act of this movie and this reborn movie franchise.

The movie starts off with a bang and a wonderfully sized portion of nostalgia. The Turtles finally busted out their van, complete with shooting manhole covers. I felt like a kid again and sounded like one complete with chuckles and cheers. Each of the four Turtles get spotlighted in a way that emphasizes their unique personalities and before you know it they’re eating pizza. The movie certainly started off running on the authentic foot.

The rest of the movie is a mixed bag of fun authentic and asking aloud; what the hell were they thinking?

Shredder and Casey Jones each spend ¾ of their individual screen time without their masks on. For characters who are known as masked comic book/cartoon characters, that’s a bit too long for my taste. The green ooze that the franchise is famous for was turned purple for no apparent reason. TGRI is now TCRI. The turtles struggle with a desire to be human which smacks in the face of their traditional enthusiasm for being turtles. But easily the most annoying and screen time sucking portion of the movie goes to the obsession Michael Bay had not with Megan Fox (who is not a screen hog) but with involving the NYPD.

The NYPD gets plenty of movie love. There are a plethora of movies out there in which the NYPD has a necessary, central aspect of the plot(s). The police in every incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are background characters at best. I have no problem with wanting to involve the NYPD for maybe five to ten minutes of screen time like was the case in the original Turtles movie. But the NYPD literally gets almost as much screen time as the Turtles themselves and more than any other side character, side kick, or henchmen.

Henchmen wise however, this movie hit a home run. The overdue big screen debut of Bebop and Rocksteady was executed wonderfully. The actors playing the characters captured the knucklehead, light-hearted spirit of both characters very well. When they are turned into the mutant warthog and rhino respectively, the attitude and actions of the characters seemed right out of the cartoon.

Also making a long overdue debut were Krang and the Technodrome. Check both under the well executed, authentic category. Krang sounded very much like the cartoon counterpart and both the villain and its home base were brought from another dimension as they should be. Krang’s combat suit was modernized and the second incarnation within the film that he uses for the climax fight scene is as authentic as it could be while trying to modernize the look.

Tyler Perry’s enthusiasm for playing Baxter Stockman came through very enjoyably on the screen for my taste. If there is a third movie, I look forward to seeing what he will bring to the table. A combination of his mousers and mutation (which did not occur in this film) cold make for an excellent first act conflict to set up for a bigger battle in the third act of a potential third movie.

Speculation of a third film is only speculation due to the lackluster box office numbers Out of the Shadows has done. And lackluster box office returns is really what this movie deserves. After all, how much is nostalgia worth if nostalgia is mandatory to enjoy something in the present?

In the theater I was able to overlook and/or be blind to the gaping holes in quality this movie had during the entire second act, bleeding into act three. The climax and resolution were solid by summer blockbuster standards. The big fight scene between Krang and the Turtles had me thinking Cowabunga! I would certainly welcome and pay to see a third TMNT movie. But I wouldn’t recommend the first one and definitely not the second one to anyone who didn’t watch any of the cartoon incarnations of the turtles as a child. Childhood memories are needed. Without them all you have left is another Michael Bay action disaster that unless there is an explosion, or is Bad Boys, is just bad.

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Ten years and a reboot later X Men 3 #2 finally got the franchise to the fireworks factory or in this case, to the CGI fire bird.

The previous two films in the franchise (First Class, Days of Futures Past) set a high bar for Apocalypse to live up to creatively and commercially. Luckily the first X Men 3 (The Last Stand) as well as Origins Wolverine set a very, very low bar. So the average bar height set by both eras of X Men movies left a medium, reasonably placed bar for the second X Men 3 to reach or jump over.

The combination of Last Stand being one of my most disliked films ever, and Days of Futures Past being one of my favorite comic book movies ever, has created a rose-colored paradigm of which I see anything on a screen with X Men in the title.  I have a specific soft spot for X Men because of the fabulous 90s cartoon. I also have a general softspot for popcorn blockbusters that make genuine attempt to be films/works of art rather than just another disposable consumer good.

The opening sequence of X Men Apocalypse is so good and so comic book authentic, it almost  creates a let down when the rest of the movie doesn’t follow suit with its authenticity to the source material. This is not an Age of Apocalypse movie, which is unfortunate but understandable. However, the effort and execution of adding depth to all of the main characters and to even the second the tertiary characters during the middle act is much appreciated and does the job of creating emotional investment in the story arc.

The climax of the movie had me popping like a kid again and required restraint to not stand and clap. Though what unfolds at the end of this X Men 3 would have been more fitting at the end of the first X Men 3, it’s better late than never. The writing, acting, cinematography, and directing all came together beautifully.

The scene before the final credits rolled left me hoping/wondering if a live action series is on the way with a clear tip of the cap paid to the 90s cartoon with a very out-of-place Mystique, though Mystique has been misplaced in every movie since they cast an A level actress to play a B level villain.

Better late than never is what kept coming to mind as I left the theater. Though this movie is very much what The Last Stand was supposed to be, nothing can wash the taste of that Brett Ratner disaster from my mouth or my mind. However, the new trilogy led by James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, and Jennifer Lawerence has been of a consistent high enough quality to forgive the shortcomings of he original trilogy.

And by shortcomings of the original trilogy I of course mean the third one was so bad it was enough to taint the excellence of X2  and the acceptable quality of the original X Men movie. Seriously what the fuck were they thinking with The Last Stand?!

Anyway, a live action series would obviously welcome. An entrance into the Marvel Cinematic Universe for the Infinity War movies would be ideal. But if those are both pie in the sky wishful thoughts, then a fourth installment with this cast is very much welcome as the New Class Trilogy has given me every reason to believe that another film will be a high quality piece of pop art as long as they don’t allow Brett Ratner to cast Hugh Jackman’s replacement.

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by @anarchyroll

What do the following movies have in common?

  • Superman III
  • Rambo III
  • Godfather III
  • Lethal Weapon 3
  • Batman Forever
  • Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
  • Blade Trinity
  • Spiderman 3
  • X-Men The Last Stand
  • The Dark Knight Rises

They are film franchises that shit the bed when they attempted to go from sequel to trilogy.

A quality trilogy is really hard to come by.

Really think about it, how many quality trilogies are there where all three movies are good? Not just two out of three, but all three.

The original Star Wars trilogy comes to mind for most. One’s cap can certainly be tipped to Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, Die Hard, and Evil Dead. But those are all decades old franchises. I would say the nearest #3 movie to round out a quality trilogy is Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I was an army of one flying that flag.

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Captain America Civil War stands on the shoulders of the Marvel Cinematic Universe that has been created over the last decade. The movie relies and builds upon the films, tv shows, and digital shorts that make up the MCU. One might think that an entire universe of characters, situations, and continuity wouldn’t be necessary to follow-up a good sequel with an even better #3, but considering the list above…

With that in mind, one would think that fans and fanboys alike would be thrilled that DC is adopting the MCU paradigm for their future major motion pictures. However, I was unable to read a review for Civil War without a sidebar if not the bulk of the review being dedicated to not praising Civil War, but tearing down Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice.

The MCU as of this writing consists of twelve films and two television shows. The film universe for Detective Comics has one film and…one film. Let’s at least wait until the DCU has a quarter of the storyline continuity established on the big screen before we compare the two.

Captain America Civil War can easily lay claim to being the greatest comic book movie of all time. The movie gets so many things right on so many levels. The airport fight scene is easily the most pure, most sustained fun a comic book movie has ever produced.

Marvel prefers their movies to be more fun and funny. DC is going with the darker more serious route. I prefer the big two comic book companies have their movies be more different, rather than similar.

The Captain America franchise has knocked it out of the park at every turn. Much like how The Dark Night was the bests comic book movie sequel, Civil War is easily the best #3. The three films combined make Captain America easily the best comic book trilogy to date and is definitely in the category of best film trilogy of all time. None of the movies have dropped the ball in the slightest.

It’s only fitting that the head of The Avengers leads the way for the rest of the comic book world by showing that it is indeed possible to make a great trilogy rather than leaving the fans to be forced to say two out of three ain’t bad.

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by @anarchyroll

Temporary, private multimedia messages exchanged through a smartphone application.

Sharing personal moments. That is what Snapchat is about. That is why it is the social media platform de jour in America, it is THE preferred method of communication to a number of young people that warrants the phrase of a generation.

The early adopters may have used it predominantly for NSFW purposes. But the majority of users these days are using it to share their lives with a limited spectrum of people in their social circle. And of course young people use it to for the inherent ability of the app to prevent parents, relatives, teachers, and bosses from seeing their communications and embarrassing them on another public and achievable medium.

Big business has recently come around to the idea of leveraging Snapchat to build community like loyalty for their products. Snapchat still has an air of being counter culture cool and ahead of the curve. So anyone trying to make money is trying to utilize Snapchat’s young, cool factor.

Is Snapchat cool?

Well it is fun.

The people who use Snapchat have fun doing it. The ability to customize messages in so many ways, then send it out only to people the sender wants seeing it, for a limited amount of time. Snapchat has stood on the shoulders of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and has built a platform that combines the positives of each without the negatives.

Snapchat, like Tinder has an earned reputation for as an medium for the explicit and salacious. To deny that Snapchat is used as an exchange for sexual/sexualized acts and content is to deny reality. However, both Snapchat and Tinder are about much more than people’s naughty bits. Both are very much mainstream and both have a vastly large number of users who use the services for very much on the level, straightforward communication.

The purpose of Snapchat is that it is a temporary, multimedia messaging service and social media combo. The value is that the messages are temporary. In the era of big brother watching, there is an inherent comfort in sending a visual message that will self destruct in a maximum time of ten seconds. Whether the files actually delete themselves is another story and the public has decided is not important. The illusion of self destructing messages is just fine for most people whether they are sending goofy faces and/or nudes.

That comfort and intimacy whether illusionary or authentic is currently being exploited by every company and celebrity A list to Z. The business of Snapchat is on the exclusivity of the people the messages are shared with by the users and by the limited number of companies allowed to be featured in its Discover section. The personal of Snapchat is the fun factor that comes with the variety of ways to customize each message.

Snapchat has helped me open up more and share more personal moments with the world. For an antisocial who has battled depression and social anxiety for over half his life, that is a very good thing.

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By @anarchyroll

Big and dark. DC Comics is about making their movie adaptations big and dark. Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice is very big for a variety of reasons. The budget to make it and the budget to advertise it can both be described as very big. The opening weekend box office numbers for the movie can be described as very big. One movie featuring two of the very biggest American pop culture icons in history which had very big expectations.

In 2005 director Christopher Nolan continued a tradition started by Frank Miller in the 1980s of putting forth a darker vision and version of iconic Batman character and franchise. A vision that got even darker with the phenomenally successful and pop culture crossover hit The Dark Knight.

In 2013 the sixth feature film in the historic Superman franchise followed in the footsteps of the darker vision and version of the character that started the golden age of comic books in 1942. Man of Steel took the Frank Miller/ Christopher Nolan archetype and applied to the comic book superhero who is the undisputed champion of squeaky clean, good guy. Change can be painful and is often met with resistance. Many people resisted the new vision/version of Superman that was presented on the big screen in Man of Steel.

After Nolan wrapped up his Dark Knight trilogy director Zack Snyder decided to follow in the footsteps of Frank Miller and Christopher Nolan by presenting a darker, grittier, more violent version of Batman on the big screen. Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice is both a direct sequel to Man of Steel and a reboot of the Batman film franchise, BOTH in the archetype of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns character archetype.

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Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice is a very big film and a very dark film. On the big screen it felt like more of a pop art multimedia piece than a summer blockbuster released in early spring. But it had far too many explosions to not be a blockbuster movie. But it still had more than enough metaphoric uses of cultural and religious iconography to make alternative, artsy types happy.

The film has multiple homages paid to The Dark Knight Returns series/ graphic novel. It has many homages to the comic book history of both characters. Something that many people criticize non Marvel Studies comic book films are prone to failing to do. It also officially launched the DC film universe following in the footsteps of Marvel.

I think because DC is following in Marvel’s footsteps, that DC should be making all of their movies using the Marvel model. DC is doing quite the opposite. They are being different. And many people don’t like different.

The DC Universe is more dark, dramatic, and edgy than the Marvel Universe (up to this point). If all Marvel movies were made like the first two Blade movies with Wesley Snipes, both cinematic universes would be more similar than different.
DC is trying to make films, Marvel is making blockbusters. There is a difference.

I would consider Batman/Superman a success. I think it succeeded on many levels. It certainly appealed to me on many levels. Many others would disagree. I found the movie to be a great combination of pop art and popcorn cinema. I thought the cinematography and especially the writing to be exceptional. I find Zack Snyder’s use of mise on scène to be on par with most of the contemporary great filmmakers.

Batman/Superman is NOT made as a product made for mass consumption. It is not trying to compete with Captain America Civil War for box office supremacy, it is trying to compete with Mad Max Fury Road and The Revenant for Oscar consideration(s).

Whether it succeeds at that is another thing. Many who have seen the movie can’t get their own cynicism or entitlement of having their personal imagination manifested on screen, out of the way to try and enjoy Batman Superman Dawn of Justice for what it literally is. Not for what it could have been or should be in the What If Ward of Imagination Land.

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By @anarchyroll

If you can read this, then you’ve seen Deadpool already. The real question is, have you read reviews of the film in the internet blogsphere?!

Most people dont give a shit about movie reviews from credible sources, let alone from people on WordPress. But hey, the trailer is embedded below this half paragraph, and you know you want to see it again for the first time since you watched it five times in a row two weeks ago.

What can I say about this movie that the three shit stains who sat behind me in the theater didnt say every god damn time there was a quiet scene?! I’m sorry they CGI shadowed his dick in that naked fight scene Janet, but could you please shut the fuck up and stop crumpling your bag of popcorn every ten fucking seconds?!!

Where was I? Oh yeah, the movie review. Here we go; Maxim effort…

Synopsis; if you don’t have a stick, rod, gerbel, or crucifix up your ass you’re going to love it. Seeing this movie was easily the hardest I laughed since my mom died two months ago. Escapism never felt so sweet or so vulgar.

If you haven’t seen it, and like comic books, comic book movies, action movies, and/or dirty dark humor than this movie is for you.

If it were up to me, all comic book movies would be hard Rs. Why? Because fuck little kids that’s why! Aaannnnnnd that definitely didn’t come out right. But you know what I mean. I’m clearly making an amateur attempt to apply Deadpool’s style of humor and forth wall breaking to this movie review blog.

If I keep this up I’ll be able to afford that premium theme in no time. Then I’ll start raking in that internet cash. Yeah…

What am I writing again? That’s right a movie review. Because their definitely isn’t enough opinion based content about comic book movie quality on the internet.

It was great, not good, great and the sequel with Cable can’t come out soon enough.

Now, to the imortant question, where’s the chimichanga I ordered on GrubHub?!!

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By @anarchyroll
11/29/15

All good things come to an end and nothing lasts forever…except diamonds of course.

Whether or not Spectre is the end of the Daniel Craig era proper, the spirit of change that Craig’s run as 007 has certainly passed. That much is made obvious by even a casual fan of the Bond franchise and/or someone who has seen all four films in Craig’s reign (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall, Spectre).

The name of the film was in advance, a not so subtle signal to the return of the franchise’s glory days.

From Dave Batista’s character being a nod to Jaws, to the full fledged return of the Spectre organization, and its leader Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Whereas Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace forcefully took the franchise in a bold new direction, Spectre is a return to the classic Bond archetype better and for worse.

The prior Craig films would often give a twist and a tip of the cap to prior Bond iconography. Even at times seeming to poke fun at some of the archetypes the franchise created and leaned heavily upon over the course of the last half century. Spectre at times seemed like a parody of the franchise made by the franchise to set up the future of the franchise.

Both Bond girls become stereotypical Bond girls and do so rather quickly. Bond’s car and gadget(s) are presented in flippant manners. The reveal of Christopher Waltz’s character as Blofeld is done in a setting/location that is a composite of the most stereotypical Bond villain hideouts and locales.

One must wonder why they ever diverted the franchise off course if to only bring it right back on it after less than a handful of films. I liked the new direction the Craig films took. But Skyfall was more of a traditional Bond film, so there were really only two films that upended the franchise to chart a new modern course in the modern era of major motion pictures.

Die Another Day although not as bad as some remember, certainly jumped the shark with virtually every aspect of the Bond franchise. A reboot to some degree was warranted after the invisible car chase. But to come full circle and go right back to tongue and cheeky within ten years and four films of the gritty, edgy, more realistic 007 seems trite at best and lazy at worst.

I’m all about a return to the roots. Bring on the lazers, jetpacks, and sexual innuendo named women. Why not make the next film a tip of the cap to the Austin Powers? At times, that’s what Spectre felt like.

I never cared that the franchise was being upended and made grittier when the Craig era started. I cared that the money making franchise started making quality, stand alone, artistic films again. The previous films (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall) had cinematography that rivaled any other film that came out that year. The mise en scené of almost every frame was great filmmaking. A quest to make art seemed to replace the thirst to make more money.

Spectre was indeed a return to the classic Bond archetype. For better and for worse.

Those classic Bond movies were made for popcorn entertainment and for making money. Perhaps the gears of the money making machine that is modern motion picture making finally chewed up and spit out the artistic spirit of the franchises’ modern era. Perhaps that has something to do with director Sam Mendes and star Daniel Craig both vehemently stating they don’t want to return to the franchise.

Perhaps what is old is simply new again.

If that is the case, where can I place a substantial monetary bet that the title of the next Bond film will have the word Gold somewhere in it?

mm@C4logo2ajclogo2by @anarchyroll
10/26/2014

Is it a prequel or not? I mean, it’s kinda the same movie. They’re kinda hinting at it. The names are different but it’s the same premise with the same character archetypes.

Wait, isn’t that the…?

Am I writing about Prometheus or The Equalizer?

Exactly

One of my personal favorite action movies is Man on Fire from 2004 also starring Denzel Washington as essentially the same character he plays in The Equalizer. The only difference is the drinking.

Does this sound like a critical review? Well if I liked Man on Fire then I certainly liked The Equalizer. The only reason a person wouldn’t be required to turn their brain off, kick back, and have a good time watching the gory action scenes is to wonder if this movie is in some way connected to Man on Fire.

The ex-CIA expert assassin is a character type that Denzel Washington has come to love playing in the twilight of his career. And he plays them well. Let’s be honest, Denzel Washington plays most if not every type of character well. He is one of the better American actors of the last quarter century.

The Equalizer, like Man on Fire is not rushed, there is an abundance of character development, dialogue, and build up before the explosion of action that comes at the climax. The end of the movie gets wrapped up in such a neat, bow wrapped package, there is no reason that Denzel’s character can’t go into the sunlight, get burned out on some new mission, and end up in Mexico City seeking work as a bodyguard.

The Equalizer is less about explosions and more about gory killings from both the antagonist and protagonist.

The supporting cast is a little weaker in Equalizer compared to Fire but neither movie is about the supporting cast. It is about Denzel’s acting and the innovation of the execution scenes, scenes plural, both films have a lot of gruesome executions.

Check out The Equalizer if you’re a fan of Denzel, films that don’t require thinking, or gory deaths.

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9/23/2014

Every year that passes, it seems a larger and larger percentage of the population is looking to avoid talking on the phone as much as possible. The explosive popularity of text messages a decade ago was apparently just the beginning. Services like Grub Hub and Uber have become darlings of the sharing economy based on the ability of their service to purchase goods and services via a smart phone without having to speak or even type to any direct person.

Enter Tinder, which takes the zero direct communication paradigm of securing goods and services to the dating/romance aspect of the human experience for those affluent enough to afford a smart phone and data package. You know you’re talking to an old person if they don’t know what Tinder is and/or don’t understand how to use it. Is it real? Is it a game? Yes and kinda are the answers to those questions.

Some excellent pieces on Tinder have been written recently covering Tinder’s effects on marriages and on how the service reveals the hidden nature of mate selection in the modern world.

What is Tinder? It is truly the first online dating service made for the smart phone app era of technology users/consumers. Tinder technically has a website which is just an ad/reminder to download the application. If you have a smart phone and are single, there is no reason to not utilize Tinder, unless you don’t have a Facebook account. A Facebook account is necessary to set up a Tinder profile. This is where the service carved its niche. Tinder farms the aspects of matching out to Facebook. People are matched based on Facebook likes (music, movies, tv shows, fan pages, etc) and/or mutual friends. People can be matched without these commonalities, Facebook is used as a defacto identity verification service.

What is Tinder’s value?

The shallow joke is easy, instant access to a one night stand. Tinder has made its name on facilitating hook ups. The New York Times has written multiple articles on Tinder writing under the assumption the app is strictly or at least predominately THE hook up dating app. Naturally the college kids love them some Tinder.

But in all seriousness, Tinder provides great value to single people. How? It provides instant evidence you are not alone. Whether young or old, in a city or suburb, Tinder will pull up dozens of single people near you. Tinder is empirical proof that there are indeed plenty of fish in the sea.

Tinder is not just for young people who are considering classically or stereotypically attractive. The hook up only aspect of the app has already been faded for almost a full year. Asking if people hook up using Tinder is like asking if the one night stand still exists. Consenting adults will do whatever consenting adults want to do when they are single and attracted to someone they have recently met and have begun spending time with.

Tinder’s purpose is to show you have options. That even in far off suburbs there are lots of single people around you and in cities there are even more. People who don’t like the bar/club scene have a free option of meeting people at their fingertips. People who don’t use gyms, grocery stores, yoga studios, and college campuses at meet markets have a free option to meet people they know are single and have been independently verified to be interested in them. Tinder’s value is in removing the question in one’s head “I wonder if he/she is interested in me or not”. If they’re not, nothing happens, if they are, you’re matched up and you both receive notifications on your phones.

It seems more and more people are becoming increasingly afraid of direct communication and rejection. Tinder kills both of those birds with one app. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to try to pay off a zoo employee to let me take a selfie with a tiger.