I started meditation because it seemed like a natural extension of a yoga practice as well as a good cool down from the physical exercise that a yoga session can be. I was able to habitualize a regular meditation practice, years before I was able to habitualize a regular yoga practice.
I enjoy doing yoga. Especially after a weight training session or on a day that I don’t life weights. At the end of a yoga session I feel good. Often I feel better than I did before I started the session. But meditation, hits different for me.
I feel better during and after a meditation in deeper way than I do post yoga. Not better, just better for me. Better enough that my meditation practice stuck sooner.
I thank the Calm app for that. The guided meditations, to this day, remain the vehicle that has helped me arrive the most frequently, and consistently to consciousness and awareness of the space between stimulus and response.
I’m not describing the feeling adequately. That is the great thing about meditation and other spirituality practices; concepts beyond words.
On bad days, good days, and neutral days alike, when I’m able to break the cycle of thinking, break away from my identification with my thoughts or emotions or life situation, concentrate on my breath, and reach a place of inner stillness and awareness, even if it’s just for a couple of seconds…that’s the good stuff. That makes the practice worth it’s weight in gold.
That feeling makes me feel like I’ve shed my skin and become a new person on the spot. It feels like coming home again. It feels like putting on all of my most comfortable clothes. It feels like breathing again after being under water.
I certainly wish I was able to get to that place more consistently and for longer. But, we all need goals to chase. I am grateful for every micro second I have spent in the awareness of inner stillness. Just to be aware of it is a blessing for me. Then to feel it and know it, and to know myself for the first time. Tremendous feelings. Gratitude for sure.
Taking my meditation practice off of my cushion and into my daily life was a long delayed happening. For the longest time I just sat, focused on my breath a little, and thought with my eyes closed and a guided meditation playing in my earbuds.
To get into a true meditative state, or even a reasonable facsimile took a while for me. Many times now I simply settle for breath awareness, noticing I’m stuck in my head, or identifying with emotion, and coming back to the breath. Which is also a blessing for me.
Being able to notice I’m identified with my thoughts and being able to break free and come back to breath awareness makes me feel like a new person. I can simply remember the long period of my life where I was completely identified with my thoughts, my emotion and my life situation. The majority of people are.
I still get caught up. Meditation isn’t a magic bullet. But it is an aide. An aide for the mind. An aide for our emotions. An aid for our soul. An aide I am grateful for.
Anarchy Journal Constitutional 