Somewhere between establishing a regular meditation practice and stumbling into studying philosophy via podcasts and YouTube videos, I became grateful to just be alive.
I used to be very pessimistic. Pessimism and depression go hand in hand. I used to be very depressed too. Ages 14 and 26 are when depression bit my head off and almost took me all the way down to drown in darkness.
I don’t remember exactly when or why I decided that I wanted to stay. But I stayed. I’m glad I did. I’m very grateful to be alive.
That doesn’t mean life is perfect. No such thing as perfect. That doesn’t mean that life is all sunshine and rainbows. Life is challenges. In all of life there is suffering, the First Noble Truth of Buddhism.
But to me, life is good, I’m glad to be alive.
Everyday above ground is a good day.
I used to say this habitually when people would ask me how I was doing or what’s going on or just as a general retort for a general greeting I would receive from friends, acquaintances, etc.
I stopped saying it when I said it to a woman who was suffering, clearly suffering, she told me in a very calm manner why she was suffering, then excused herself as she started crying. In all of life there is suffering. I felt tremendous empathy for that stranger in that moment. I remember thinking, just because I feel that way, doesn’t mean I need to broadcast it.
Actions > Words
Everyday above ground is a good day.
I do believe that is true. No one is forcing us to stay. We are free to leave at anytime. It has never been easier for one to leave this life if they don’t want to be here.
I think that might have been what convinced me to stay. I had been in such a negative state for so long, while having done so little, if anything to change my situation, that it got to the stage of, shit or get off the pot. Either stay or leave. But if I’m going to stay, I’m not going to be a cynical, pessimistic, energy vampire, negative asshole. So get pragmatically positive or leave.
So I chose to stay. I’m glad I did. I would advise most habitually negative people to have the same talk with themself, make the choice to stay or leave, and act accordingly.
Being grateful to be alive doesn’t make bad things not happen. Gratitude for one’s existence doesn’t mean challenges stop coming or suffering ceases. It provides a solid foundation to go from and a comfortable landing to fall back on when the challenges of life and suffering of existence present themselves.
Meditation practice helped me to cultivate inner space between stimulus and response for me to plug this gratitude for life into. If one has no inner space or inner peace, there isn’t time for gratitude because of the constant knee-jerk reactions to all the stimuli.
Philosophy studies helped provide context and perspective to existence and the human condition. Combining a meditation practice and philosophy study has provided me with a calibrated, pragmatic attitude of gratitude, sans toxic new age narcissistic positivity.
Every day above ground is a good day.
What about bad days? Well, what do you mean by bad? Is there universal bad? Or is bad a perception? Is bad a thought? Is bad a judgement? How do you know what bad is?
You mean challenging days? You mean days with suffering? Days with more suffering than neutrality or enjoyment? How do you know what a challenge is? How do you know what suffering is?
I guess I missed the meeting that said life is supposed to always be good all the time no exception ever.
There is no escaping the yin yang.
No light without dark. No silence without noise. No sweet without sour. No cold without hot. No wet without dry. No high without low. No life without death. No good without bad.
Everyday above ground is a good day.
Anarchy Journal Constitutional 