#Create One Thing at a Time

Posted: January 10, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Many of my journal entries over the past year or two have ended with me writing the words; one thing at a time.

Getting started can be so, so hard. The internal resistance to putting forth external effort and action if measurable, would go off the charts and break the instruments.

When one is able to at least temporarily squeeze through or push past perfectionism and create something, regardless of quality, the inner pressure release and sense of relief would be the equivalent of sky diving, while holding and anvil.

One thing at a time

One action at a time

One choice at a time

What is quality? What is good and bad? The gatekeepers have been out to lunch for decades at this point. Just do it.

Spotlight effect often holds people back. I know it held me back. With a little (or a lot) of Imposter Syndrome mixed in.

One thing I realized, after a very, very long time of thinking about it, journaling about it, meditating about it, drinking about itā€¦was that if I really did think what I wanted to create was so bad then I wouldnā€™t be negatively judging otherā€™s so frequently and/or so harshly.

But thatā€™s not what weā€™re doing when weā€™re negatively judging other acts of creation. Weā€™re projecting self hatred. I know I was. It got to the point where I was getting into verbal conflicts with people I hardly knew at bars overā€¦nothing. I think back to what started those verbal tiffs and after I cringe, I slap myself in the forehead and stay there because they never actually said or did anything. I was just projecting my self hatred onto others because I wasnā€™t doing what I wanted to do which was creating.

A creator that doesnā€™t create, otherwise known as a writer or artist sans the word professional prefixed.

Just publishing blogs, articles, essays, and thoughts has changed my mental and emotional state immeasurably. Is my content good? Is it important? Is it impactful? Well all metrics of external success would say no, then to pat me on my head and say at least you tried.

But itā€™s good for me. Itā€™s working for me. Itā€™s helping me. And you canā€™t help others unless you help yourself first. You canā€™t feed others from an empty bowl. You canā€™t put on someone elseā€™s oxygen mask if you are suffocating to death yourself.

One thing at a time

One action at a time

One choice at a time

The Defense #Budget is Morally Offensive

Posted: January 10, 2024 in Excess and Algorithms
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ā€œThey got money for war, but canā€™t feed the poorā€ Tupac Shakur

Anytime I mention the >$845 billion annual budget for the Military Industrial Complex I am always greeted by either confusion, deflection or anger.

Anger is the one that gives me that kind of self mutilating joy. Such sadness and disappointment at my fellow human that they feel the need to take up verbal defense of an entity that literally has more money than any other entity on Earthā€¦for ā€œdefenseā€

Whatā€™s worse than an exploited worker in false class solidarity with billionaires? Military Industrial Complex bootlickers.

Itā€™s not their fault. America is the most propagandized country in the history of the world and itā€™s not even close. Germany? North Korea? Wake up.

Have you looked at a screen ever? What is advertising? What are commercials? Who owns the news? Who owns the media? And why? Exactly.

Itā€™s in our nature to think weā€™re the good guys. Weā€™ll already justify our own actions to ourselves regardless of their external effects unless we suffer immediate negative repercussions.

You take that part of our nature and subject us to a literal non stop, inescapable propaganda machine in every home, public space, purse, and pocket and how can the masses in America not have the consciousness be corporate captured?

We know in our hearts poverty shouldnā€™t exist in the world with so much wealth. But what our eyes see and our ears hear, our mind believes. And those two senses are under a never ending attack of seduction by entities that want us to live like donkeys chasing the carrot to avoid the stick.

And if weā€™re too buys mentally, verbally, and physically fighting each other or buying things or working ourselves to the bone to avoid poverty, then we certainly canā€™t unite for the greater good of the 99%.

People Get These #Ideas In Their Heads

Posted: January 9, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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People get these ideas in their heads.

People meaning me, meaning us, meaning everyone, ever.

We get these ideas in our head that we need or should or could or will.

Good ideas, bad ideas, neutral ideas, beneficial ideas, detrimental ideas.

We know we can be our own worst enemy. Yet itā€™s solemnly publicly acknowledged outside of college philosophy, psychology, sociology, and anthropology classes.

Self sabotage. I donā€™t have to explain what that is. We all know it through repeated experience. Both in important and irrelevant things that weā€™ve done to ourselves over the course of our lives regardless of age.

I could ask an 18 year old and an 80 year old to tell me a about a time they self sabotaged something that could have been a really good thing in their life, and theyā€™re likely to reply; ā€œyou just want one example?ā€

People get these ideas in their heads.

Out of nowhere. Like a meteor. It strikes and buries itself in the land.

Accepted as fact that itā€™s always been there.

Thatā€™s just the way it is, theyā€™ll say. They being the voice in our head.

Has it always been this way? Have I always lived this way? Is this helping or hurting me? Well itā€™s how Iā€™m living. Itā€™s how Iā€™m thinking. Itā€™s how Iā€™m perceiving. Itā€™s how Iā€™m feeling. Itā€™s how Iā€™m acting.

I wouldnā€™t think, perceive, feel, and act in ways detrimental to my own existence, surviving, or thriving would I?

People get these ideas in their heads.

#Habit Building is About New Not Old

Posted: January 9, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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It feels like Iā€™ve spent my entire adult life trying to improve my habits.

At least the periods of time I care to remember. Which are the periods of time in which I cared to care and tried to try. I also remember many instances of the internal resistance to trying to build new habits being so strong, it felt like a literal force from within my body pushing me the opposite direction.

In 2023 I read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. One of the best books Iā€™ve ever read. I strongly recommend it for a host of reasons. While reading the book and after reading the book, one of the concepts that stuck and that I noticed when consuming other material related to habit formation, is the necessity of focusing on and doing the new thing rather than focusing on not doing the old thing.

That was a light bulb moment for me. Reading about that in the book, I knew both in my heart and in my head that I had spent the majority of time when trying to form new habits on what I didnā€™t want to do versus the new action I wanted to cement.

This concept legitimately helped me and is actively helping me now. You reading this blog is a product of me focusing on writing and publishing my work, rather than focusing on the time spent not writing and fixating on the details of what I want to write through the paradigm of perfectionism.

I like writing. I like blogging. I wanted to write again. I wanted to blog again. I posted an article that I liked one day last year. I just wrote it, revised it, and posted it. Then when I sat down to do the next one, the old habits of focusing on the topic, the title, the body, a catchy opener, and a well wrapped up closing line all creeped into my mind and put a writerā€™s block in front of the habit of blogging.

A couple of months later I read Atomic Habits. After finishing the book I read various articles and watched various YouTube videos on habits. The concept I found myself implementing the most in my day to day life was thinking about the new action, rather than thinking about past actions, past mistakes, past failures, etc.

The value of this concept is directly proportional to the action taken. Itā€™s real value that can be measured externally, based on the real action one takes. Iā€™m very grateful to have this paradigm taking hold in me. I hope it can do the same for whoever reads my words.

Late Stage Theory vs Reality

Posted: January 8, 2024 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional, Excess and Algorithms
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Exploited workers in false class solidarity with the billionaire class, seem to always want to use hypotheticals and theories to justify the poor living conditions of a vast majority of working age human beings.

Just the concept of, ā€œearn a livingā€ is a skewed paradigm of existence in a world with more than enough to go around for all humans to live comfortably.

Being able to live comfortable was the American Dream was it not? Wasnā€™t that the entire concept of the economic middle class?

Itā€™s human nature for people to always want more and for others to always want to do less. Sure, but we default to an economic system of exploitation? Exploitation of ignorance. Exploitation of resources. Exploitation of labor. Exploitation of emotions.

But itā€™s the greatest economic system in history in the greatest country in history says the people currently reaping itā€™s benefits. And their bootlickers who confuse having a comma in their bank account and lots of shiny new adult toys to show off online. Just donā€™t dare ask them about their debt(s).

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