Posts Tagged ‘human nature’

Accept then Detach from #Thoughts & #Emotions

Posted: February 3, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , , ,
0

Itā€™s already hard to not identify with our emotions, without our culture ruthlessly exploiting our emotions perpetually professionally.

Weā€™re never taught that we are not our thoughts, we are not our emotions. Itā€™s usually the opposite or taught nothing at all. Figure it out as you go. On the job training. Job in this case beingā€¦being.

Iā€™ve been meditating for over ten years, Iā€™ve been studying spirituality for longer, journaling longer than that. Iā€™ve been regularly studying stoicism seven years, started studying other philosophies on a regular basis four years agoā€¦and negative emotions can still take me for a ride like a teenager in puberty.

Life may be simple, but easy? I donā€™t know about that one. The older I get, the more experiences I have, the more people I meet, it seems like living is hard.

If one were to say life is easy, they would at least agree that our emotions donā€™t add to the simplicity or ease of life. I feel confident in the determination that it is our emotions that are the primary sources of many of the difficulties and complexities of our collective and individual existence.

Are the things that happen to us hard and complex, or is it our emotional reactions that make them so?

Are the events of our life hard and complex, or is it our thoughts that make them so?

Detaching those two questions from spirituality teachers and gurus is worthwhile for all secular types. To be honest, most religious people I know would be wise to ask those questions regularly. I need to ask myself those questions more often, and I already had a couple of instances this week where I was asking myself those questions repeatedly.

Breathing, following the breath with our attention, walking, stretching, laughing can all help detach ourselves from the grip of our thinking mind and emotional reactions.

No one things is gonna make us go from A to Zen as if a magic wand was waved in front of our face.

But awareness is the way out.

Itā€™s not just easy to get lost in our thoughts and emotions, itā€™s normalā€¦itā€™s natural.

And if it was normal for us to get lost in productive thought streams and positive emotional reactions, then weā€™d be living in a utopiaā€¦and have you seen the news lately?

Conscious, Awareness, #Habits

Posted: January 28, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
0

Live long enough and youā€™ll eventually ask yourself internally or out loud; ā€œWhy am I like this?ā€

The rational answer sans emotional baggage and personal history isā€¦habits.

We are a product of our habits. Habits being repeated actions. Our most repeated actions. We are what we repeatedly do, without exception.

Habits by their nature, are unconscious. The purpose of forming habits is to be able to do them with minimal or no thought. Thatā€™s how they stick for better AND for worse.

New Years Resolutions are the most popular, socially accepted, tradition of bringing conscious awareness to our habits. For the first couple of weeks every year people become aware of and focus on their eating habits, drinking habits, social habits, exercise habits, leisure time habits, relationship habits, etc.

Itā€™s also a meme that people drop off of their resolutions within days or maybe weeks the beginning of the new year. Planet Fitnessā€™ profitability is dependent on people signing up, dropping off, but not canceling their membership.

However the act of the new years resolution is a proper formula for change. At least for the beginning portion of change. One canā€™t change without being aware change is needed. Again, habits are by their nature unconscious. We have to bring awareness to our habits to change them for better AND for worse.

Our lives arenā€™t just dominated by our habits, our lives are our habits. Whatever our individual life constitutes as normal is made normal by the habitual actions we take every hour of everyday or every week of every month of every year of our lives.

Awareness is the way out. I know Iā€™ve had to spend a lot of mental energy on building new habits in pretty much every area of my life. Naturally there was/is emotional baggage attached to them. Weā€™re all human beings after all. Weā€™re not productivity or efficiency machines no matter how much capitalism wants us to be.

Itā€™s a marathon not a sprint.

Some of the new years resolutions I stuck to last year, literally didnā€™t become habitualized until December. Because habits donā€™t form in a couple of days or a couple of weeks no matter how impatient we may be.

We may have to work to make a living but our lifeā€™s work is the work of making our life. As long as weā€™re alive, we can dedicate the time, energy, focus, and consistency to improving our lives based on our own criteria for what brings us consistent joy and fulfillment. And we canā€™t do that unconsciously with one off actions.

As It Is > What It Is

Posted: January 25, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , ,
0

Thereā€™s something about the phrase it is what it is that I never liked beyond a joking context. I love the it is what it is memes. But in day to day life, it mildly rubbed me the wrong way.

One day while watching YouTube I heard Eckhart Tolle say ā€œIt is as it isā€ and something clicked/stuck.

Whatā€™s the difference between these two phrases? The meaning I internally assigned to them. Just because one clicked with me and the other didnā€™t, doesnā€™t mean thereā€™s an actual difference.

Tolle went on to explain that when something happens, we can acknowledge the situation, internally and/or externally as it is. This is what is happening. It is as it is. Now, what is my reaction going to be? How will I respond to this?

Choosing a response that is beneficial, rather than detrimental isnā€™t dependent on saying to oneself, ā€œIt is as it isā€, but it has certainly helped me. Cultivating the inner space between stimulus and response, to think or say anything constructive, that is mandatory work for all of us.

If we are reaction junkies, then we do ourselves a disservice and essentially give our power away to anyone or anything that inconveniences or challenges us. And challenges never stop in life. One need not be a sage or old or even have much life experience to have learned thatā€¦repeatedly.

Cultivating enough space between stimulus and response to say five words can be a tall task for many. It certainly turned out to be a long term goal for me. On some days, it still seems like a long term goal. I know there was a time, a long period of my life, where I was unaware of the space between stimulus and response and therefore by default gave my power away to any and all external events or shifting internal moods.

Meditation, philosophy and spirituality practices have all been a tremendous help for me. I would classify my meditation and philosophy practices as life savers. Meditation, philosophy and weight training are the three things I recommend to all human beings regardless of age.

Spirituality can run into immediate resistance from the agnostic and atheist types so I usually skip it and focus on the pragmatic, immediate benefits of practicing meditation, physical exercise, and philosophy.

Meditation and philosophy have helped to teach me about the thinking mind, emotion, and human nature. Those three lessons/concepts are almost always able to be plugged into situations that cause me to pause and say ā€œit is as it isā€. Being unaware or willfully ignorant of the thinking mind, emotion, and human nature often makes situations worse, and makes viewing negative situations as challenges impossible.

Although being able to say ā€œit is what it isā€ and laugh it off, is pretty zen too.

Itā€™s All a #Practice

Posted: January 23, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , ,
0

We do it, we forget, then we remember again. Thatā€™s why itā€™s a practice.

Whatā€™s a practice? Everything we do. Until weā€™re doing it without thinking. Until weā€™re doing it without thinking with proficiency. Until weā€™re doing it without thinking with excellence.

Itā€™s all a practice.

Until weā€™re masters.

And the number of masters to have ever lived is smaller than we would like to think or than we would care to admit.

Iā€™m a meditation practitioner, a philosophy practitioner, a weight lifting practitioner, a communications practitioner, a try not to be an asshole practitioner.

Itā€™s all a practice.

We learn by doing.

We do it, we forget, then we remember again.

Thatā€™s why life is a journey and not a destination. We never arrive. Change is the only constant. Weā€™re in a constant state of flux.

So we practice doing the things we want to do, the things we need to do, and the things we have to do.

We have to do, what we have to do.

Itā€™s all a practice.

Itā€™s why witnessing a masterpiece or being in the presence of masters of a craft has an almost universal emotional connection and appeal across demographics and generations. Rare isnā€™t the word for it. Language doesnā€™t do it justice.

What do we want to get better at? What do we need to improve? What must we learn?

We do it, we forget, then we remember again. Thatā€™s why itā€™s a practice.

Impermanence Creates #Joy

Posted: January 22, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , ,
0

Change is the only constant.

Anything that lasts forever, or even a long time, loses itā€™s appeal, becomes boring, gets taken advantage of, etc.

All experiences that we deem good or positive are that way because they donā€™t last. Same with the sting of the perceived negative.

Thereā€™s that yin-yang again.

The hot burning flame versus the slow burning coal.

Happiness versus contentment.

Be aware of it, experience it, then let it go. For better and for worse.

Trying to make things permanent creates problems.

Suffering arises because of attachment to desires as a wise man once said.

I had one of the most productive stretches of time in recent years. Woke up sick the next day. Thereā€™s that yin-yang again.

Then had a fun weekend with a friend is like a brother. But he had to go home. We werenā€™t sad at the end. We were grateful for the time well spent together and were both excited for what comes next for us individuality, respectively.

Letting go. Easier said than done. Like everything else, ever. But a little easier with practice. Just like everything else, everā€¦

Older Entries
Newer Entries