I want to write about this subject because, despite years of meditation, personal development, journaling, yoga, philosophy, and spirituality, when I get pressed, I still find myself acting out of ego.
I judge people. I think negatively. I feel bad. My mind races. I replay negative situations over and over. I get vulgar, angry, hostile, and negative.
Being older now, and having studied philosophy and spirituality for almost two decades, and consumed personal development content for twenty years, I know that this doesn’t make me inferior or unique — it makes me human. And I want to share this with others. It’s okay to be human. It’s okay to screw up. Negative events don’t define who we are.
A negative outburst doesn’t define me. Doing the wrong thing doesn’t define me. Failing to practice what I preach doesn’t define me. It makes me a human being.
That’s why I study philosophy. It’s why I have a spirituality practice. It’s why I meditate. It’s why I study humanist personal development. It’s why I’m drawn to neuroscience.
We all struggle with these challenges, and I want to explore how ego-driven anger is something we all experience, especially in today’s world.
The Hidden Role of Ego in Anger
The ego — the sense of self that fuels our need for validation, control, and superiority — often hides in plain sight. It shows up in negative judgments, reactive thoughts, and moments of anger. But it’s not always the loud, brash ego we imagine. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice that whispers, “I deserve better,” or “I’m right and they’re wrong,” feeding our emotions and judgments without us even realizing it.
“Your anger and annoyance are more detrimental to you than the things themselves which anger or annoy you,” — Marcus Aurelius
Philosophy: The Stoic and Taoist View of Ego
Stoicism teaches us to observe our emotions without judgment — to step back and recognize that we are not our anger. Taoism, on the other hand, encourages letting go of resistance and embracing the natural flow of life.
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.”— Lao Tzu
Spirituality: Understanding Ego through Mindfulness
Spiritual practice, especially mindfulness, offers a direct experience of observing the ego. Buddhism teaches that anger arises from attachment to the self and from clinging to identity and righteousness.
“When we let go of the need to be ‘right,’ we allow the ego to dissolve on its own, like a drop of water evaporating in the sun.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Intellect and Neuroscience: How the Brain Reinforces Ego
Science has begun to confirm what ancient philosophies intuited long ago. Our brain’s default mode network — active when we’re ruminating or imagining — fosters ego identity. The brain rewards validation and recognition, making it easy to get stuck in ego-based loops, even when we know better.
Humanism: Embracing Our Humanity
The humanist approach is rooted in self-compassion. We don’t grow by shaming ourselves — we grow by understanding and responding with care. To be human is to be imperfect.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” — Carl Rogers
Ego Is a Messenger
Ego-based anger is part of the human condition — especially in a fast-paced, comparison-driven society. We don’t need to destroy our ego. We just need to recognize when it’s taking the wheel. That recognition alone is a kind of freedom.
Next time the anger hits, ask: “Is this my ego speaking?”
Pause. Breathe.
Try to let that moment of awareness be enough.
Anarchy Journal Constitutional 