Posts Tagged ‘life lessons’

Minimizing Mental Disconnects

Posted: April 9, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
0

Common sense isnā€™t so common.

There is no universal experience after all. Every human being who has ever lived and will ever live will experience the world differently.

So how can there be common sense?

What is common to one is radical to another.

In myself and others I notice gaps between perception and reality when it comes to simple everyday type things. Not the big stuff. Not the metaphorical stuff. Not the complex stuff.

We all have mental disconnects. We forget. Our judgement lapses. We miscalculate.We overextend. We underestimate.

Mental disconnects, I know Iā€™ve had plenty. Just yesterday I thought I was really firing on all cylinders. It wasnā€™t until midway through today that I realized I forgot to do two of the most important tasks I had planned for the day before.

I didnā€™t think about them at all. I had them noted. I knew I had to do them. Yet the thought to do two separate, planned tasks, escaped me for a day and a half. Yikes.

Mental disconnects. Thatā€™s the term Iā€™m using for them.

Trying to minimize them comes more and more into focus as the years go on for me. I guess it can fall into the same category as trying to minimize mistakes.

I suppose one could put mental disconnects in the same category as self sabotage. Another interesting concept many people try not to think about. I know Iā€™ve dealt with self sabotage, and not just in the distant past either.

Those seemingly innocuous concepts that also double as dirty words because of what they imply about humans and the human condition. Those things fascinate me. Because we are not perfect. I know Iā€™m not.

Mental disconnects cause trouble and setbacks and problems. Not individually big, but they can compound. Trying to minimize mental disconnects is the work of a lifetime. A way to give meaning to the seemingly meaningless.

Is it a simple error in judgement? Or is it a mental disconnect that implies self sabotage? The quest for self improvement and personal development isnā€™t a quick, easy or simple one. If it was, the world would be an unrecognizable utopia of billions of people being the best version of themselves.

I know when I figure out a mental disconnect that has caused me trouble I feel accomplished. I feel Iā€™ve done something worth while. Like fixing a leak or changing out a flat tire.

I feel that if I can figure out some of the smaller ones, eventually Iā€™ll get to the bigger ones. You know, the life changing type things. Life is a serious of small steps and little things strung together and compounded over time. If I figure out the little things that go wrong, maybe that will lead to large scale solutions.

Maybe, possibly, but a worthwhile endeavor.

Thereā€™s work to be done, miles to go, but worth the trip.

Our Journey Doesnā€™t End Until Weā€™re Gone

Posted: April 8, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Time only moves one way.

Whether itā€™s a construct or not. The sun rises and sets each day. The planet keeps rotating. We keep living until we donā€™t. Change is the only constant.

There is no arriving. There is no way to freeze time. All we can do is be fully in the moment. To breathe it all in. Take it all in. Commit the moment(s) to memory as best we can.

Then the next moment comes.

And the next one.

And the next one.

And the next one.

Time only moves one way.

We keep living, until we donā€™t.

What we think, what we feel, what we do doesnā€™t make time speed up or slow down. The moments donā€™t stop coming because weā€™re in a bad mood or having the best day ever.

There is no reset button.

Time only moves one way.

Stoic philosophy has taught me that people have been living as if they were going to live forever, for as long as there has been civilized society. Our survival instincts are swapped out for cruise control.

Weā€™re all guilty of this. Seize the day is a ticket to hedonism. Denial of our death is equally irresponsible. I know when I look back on my life, I see large swaths of wasted time.

Iā€™ve almost died twice. Yet within months of those incidents, I was certainly back to wasting time as if I had an infinite source of it.

When I look back at some of the memorable moments of my life. Whether it be accomplishment or failure, those events are followed by lots of wasted time. What is wasted time? Well, we all have to define that for ourselves based on our values.

Moments of failure were followed by periods of morning. Moments of accomplishment were followed by periods of celebration. It was as if I thought time paused until I was ready to do the next thing, to start the next journey.

But life is the journey. From the moment we are born until the moment we die we are on a journey. It doesnā€™t stop while we sleep. It doesnā€™t stop while we eat. It doesnā€™t stop while we use the bathroom. It doesnā€™t stop while we commute. It doesnā€™t stop while weā€™re doing chores. It doesnā€™t stop while weā€™re doing busy work. It doesnā€™t stop while weā€™re intoxicated. It doesnā€™t stop while weā€™re sick.

Life doesnā€™t stop, the journey doesnā€™t end, until weā€™re gone.

I found stoic philosophy after my first parent died. I embraced stoic philosophy and my meditation practice both that much more when my second parent died.

Keeping death in mind is no magic pill or cure all that makes us live our best lives an ever increasing better version of ourselves, but it does help with perspective. I know my life was lacking in perspective for a long time.

Pairing perspective with perseverance is a good one two punch for knocking me back on my path when I veer off course. Both perspective and perseverance are helpful, pragmatic concepts to utilize on a journey.

And we are on a journey. Life is a journey and it doesnā€™t end, until weā€™re gone.

Changes Are Horizons

Posted: April 6, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
0

Does any concept lend itself better to metaphor than change?

Perhaps only life and death.

Change is hard. You know this. I know this. Podcasters and self help gurus who try to convince us otherwise know this.

You know how we know change is hard? Because if it was easy, then we would all change for the better, for individual then mutual benefit, and we would be living in a literal utopia.

Change is hard, that is why it lends itself so well to metaphor.

Change involves metaphor as much as the literal.

We have to change in immaterial ways before we can change in material ways. We have to change our minds before we can change anything. Is changing our mind a literal thing or a metaphorical thing?

What is our mind? Where do our thoughts come from and where do they go?

Changing our mind means expanding our horizon(s). To push up against the limit of our perception and to then go far enough to reach the unknown and to become familiar with it.

When we reach the new horizon, what next? Whatā€™s left? What to do?

If change were easy we would know what to do, how to do it, how to habitualize it, and take inspired action by default. But change is not easy. Change may not be complex, but simple and easy are not same just as there is difference between what is difficult and what is complicated.

Does one have to go all in on change? Is incremental change a thing? Do we dip our toes in the water first or do we cannonball in and submerge ourselves in the cold plunge of the new and unknown?

Habits of thought, perception, emotion, and action would indicate that we have to change incrementally. In the never ending story of trying to replace detrimental habits with beneficial ones, we can reach a point of whatever it takes and whatever works.

Change is hard. Knowing what to do and doing it. Being socially conditioned into thinking that doing something once equates to permanent success and happiness certainly doesnā€™t help for those of us raised by movies and television.

Is taking a break the same as giving up? Are rest days necessary or are they for the weak? What does alpha even mean anyway?

I remember when finding information required effort. Then the information was easily accessible. Now itā€™s hard to find again because we have to sift through the misinformation, native ads, digital clutter, and distractions. Thatā€™s if we decide to try and change and seek out knowledge to help us.

Meditation and philosophy help me declutter my mind and emotions. They help me to focus my actions in at least a generally beneficial direction. They provide a spring board and rest stop for me when I decide to try.

Aging has taught me that time keeps going and the world keeps moving. That combination has given me some awareness and equanimity, two concepts that at least create a solid foundation for change.

Circles and Cycles are #Life

Posted: March 27, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , , ,
0

Iā€™ve never dreaded getting older. Iā€™m yet to mind the trade offs that come with aging. Hopefully I have a long way to go still, but tomorrow isnā€™t promised for any of us.

I still remember coming up in my teens and twenties and every time I was at a party or a bar or a club I would hear someone, both men and women equally, complain about getting older. Lamenting the loss of their youth even though none of these incidents involved someone moaning about being above the age of twenty six.

So that gave me a positively warped view of aging. I never bought it. Every time I ever heard it, whether sober or three sheets to the wind, I always thought the person soundedā€¦uhā€¦less than optimally intelligent.

I donā€™t pretend that I feel as spry and vibrant as I did ten years ago, or fifteen years ago. But Iā€™ve never felt upset about it, or robbed of something, or like something was missing. Not yet anyway. If Iā€™m lucky enough to live another ten or twenty years maybe that will change.

One of my favorite things about getting older are seeing life cycles. How itā€™s all the same, only the names will change. The seasons of nature are great metaphors for pretty much every aspect of life. The more time I spend in nature, the more I see and feel this to be true.

I see it in myself, my friends, my family, in pop culture, in society, etc. Cycles. Not lines. Not going from A to B and everything or anything being done. Nothing going up to the top of the metaphorical mountain and stays there. What goes up, must come down, and being again.

I see cycles, circles, patterns, repetition in my own life. I look back and I see myself struggling and succeeding in many of the same areas over and over again, spread out over extended periods of time.

I see more similarities than differences in the different, ā€œerasā€ of my life, to use modern terminology.

I donā€™t get angry or disappointed or frustrated at this. Nor do I get filled with pride or superiority. Itā€™s just what is. Itā€™s just what happened. Itā€™s just whatā€™s happening. Itā€™s just what will happen.

I will try. I will plan. I will execute. I will learn. I will apply. I will think. I will review. I will take action. I will let go. What will happen will happen.

I know before meditation, philosophy, and spirituality practices came into my life I never could have been so calm or coherent about my trials and tribulations, my successes and my failure, my drama and my karma, my life situation. After all this is my lifeā€¦MY LIFEā€¦

I likely would have only been able to see the cycles of life in the cyclical nature of fashion and applied some kind of ego based judgement on people who think theyā€™re ā€œcoolā€ for wearing a style of clothing that was fashionable twenty or more years ago, was deemed uncool for so long that people stopped wearing and forgot about the clothing style, only for it to be brought back again in the name of status, clout, attention, and superficial uniqueness.

But now I love seeing the style of my dress of my youth being brought back into vogue and being enjoyed by a whole new generation of people. I talk to the people wearing throwback fashions, and the majority of people I have talked to love the style, they like how they look in them, they like the aesthetic, many of them have been wearing that style for years and years and it is just now that mainstream culture has caught up to them. How wonderful. The classics never go out of style.

Seeing the cyclical nature of life takes some of the pressure off of myself to be some kind of perfect being. Perfectly unique. Perfectly productive. Perfectly efficient. None of that exists in reality. Only in the areas of our imagination under control of our ego.

Progress, not perfection.

Thereā€™s no escaping the yin yang. Ups and downs, peaks and valleys, noise and silence, dark and light, good and bad. Circles, cycles, not lines.

We are all flawed. We are all imperfect. We all repeated the same mistakes and the same successes. We are cyclical, not linear.

Being Aware of Being Swept Away

Posted: March 26, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
0

It is not just easy, but normal and natural to get caught up in our thoughts and emotions. We donā€™t even notice that weā€™re swept up in them until time has passed and weā€™re in the same physical position for x amount of time.

I think this is why doom scrolling became engrained in the culture and human nature so fast. Scrolling through social media is the external manifestation of our internal scrolling through thoughts, emotions, memories, and projections.

Awareness kicks in eventually for most people. Often times after an amount of time passes that weā€™re ashamed to admit to ourselves or to anyone else.

ā€œI was spacing out for how long?!ā€ ā€œI was scrolling through Instagram for how long?!ā€ Two sides of the same coin.

Awareness is the way out. But like everything else, it must be cultivated. Cultivated through repetition. Practice makes progress. There is no progress without repeated action consistently, persistently. Easier said than done, just like everything else in life.

Meditation has helped me to cultivate my self awareness. Journaling has also helped me to cultivate awareness, as long as I occasionally review past journal entries so I may become aware of potential patterns of detrimental thought, emotion, and/or action.

Any journaling is better than no journaling. We have too many thoughts in our head to not take some time, some of the time, to just vomit them onto paper with a pen or pencil.

Any meditation practice is better than no meditation practice. We are too scattered brained to not take some time, some of the time to find stillness, focus on our breath, and attempt to bring inner state into alignment with the present moment.

Both journaling and meditation are put to better use for us when they are done purposefully. Mindless writing with no review can be called journaling. Sitting with our eyes closed, with new age music playing in the background, while we think aimlessly could be called meditation.

To cultivate our awareness, so we can break the cycles of getting swept away by detrimental thoughts and emotions; journaling with review of past journal entries, like extended breath focused meditation sessions with a mantra; are more useful tools to bring about the results we are looking for when engaging in self improvement practices.

Neither of which are one and done magic pills. No such thing. I still find myself getting swept up in thoughts and social media scrolling. Just five minutes before I started writing this essay I found myself standing next to my workstation, scrolling on my phone, unable to remember why I even picked my device up.

I do know I caught myself quicker than I used to. I know I get sucked into salacious social media content less often.

I know I still space out and get caught in streams of past memories and future projections. I also know I do so less often and for smaller periods of time than I used to. Even compared to this time last year or this time last month.

Little by little. One day at a time. One step at a time. One choice at a time. One action at a time.

Awareness is the way out.

Practice Makes Progress.

Older Entries
Newer Entries