We all want to be better people. We all want to do better.
But sometimes, some days, we just need to survive.
External factors show up.
Internal factors bubble up.
There is no instruction manual.
There is no such thing as normal.
As long as youāre not negatively effecting other people, itās okay to just do what you have to do to make it through to the next day, the next hour, the next minute, the next choice, the next breath.
Itās not just easy, itās as natural and normal as breathing.
I know I have been guilty of judging others negatively, but what I was actually doing was projecting negative thoughts about my own flaws onto them. And Iām not accessing my long term memory when I think of examples of this.
Iām not sure if becoming more accepting of human nature comes with age or with experience. I just know that as Iāve gotten older, and had more experience interacting with more and more people, I am (slowly) becoming more accepting of the fact that to be human is to be irrational.
I think that if we all take a minute to look back on some of our decisions in just our recent past, weāll find the actions of an irrational person.
Studying philosophy has helped me with this. Reading books by Robert Greene has specifically helped me with this a lot in recent years.
To accept our human nature, is to be forgiving, to have empathy.
We need more of a lot of things in this world, but empathy, that is something that a majority of us can agree upon. Something free, simple, within all of our ability to control and influence.
Having more compassion for myself and empathy for others is an evergreen new years resolution for me. Being more aware and accepting of the irrationality of human nature has helped provide fuel for my ability to empathize to grow.
As an exercise in building self esteem and self confidence I was recently challenged to list thirty things I like or love about myself. My list is below. I found it to be an effective and pragmatically valuable exercise. I recommend it.
1. BxB XI Experience
2. Pro wrestling experiences
3. Vest in the world
4. Beard
5. Blog
6. Poetry
7. Journaling
8. Meditation practice
9. Weight training
10. Yoga
11. Bracelets
12. House plants
13. Media Communications BA
14. Alcohol tolerance
15. Sense of humor
16. Reading habit
17. Music taste
18. Concert experiences
19. Rave experiences
20. Poker experiences
21. Hair
22. Nightlife Experiences
23. Knowledge of/Taste in entertainment
24. Knowledge of/Taste in sports
25. Study of stoicism & philosophy
26. Study of spirituality
27. Desire for personal development
28. Hallucinogen knowledge/experiences
29. Supplement knowledge/consumption
30. Survival and thriving through grief and depression
One of the first audio books I ever rented from my local library was Donāt Sweat the Small Stuff and Itās All Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. I had a bad habit of turning molehills into mountains. Of turning little things into big things. Of taking serious, things which were meant to be taken lightly.
Through nature or nurture, I inherited this habit from my parents. Both of them, up until they both passed away; dramatized insignificant day to day happenings in their personal lives and the events of the world around them. So frequently and with such fervor, that it short circuited my internal ability to distinguish between the important and the irrelevant while judging each in a negatively passive aggressive manner.
I was in my twenties when I had a roommate who told me that my priorities and way of seeing the world were totally out of whack. That I focused my time and attention on things that I had no control over and/or had nothing to do with me.
Around that same time is when I got more serious about a regular-daily meditation practice. That was likely a new years resolution around that time when I first downloaded the Calm app.
When this prompt popped up on one of my recent Daily Calm meditations, it brought back a flood of memory pieces from the times spent listening to that audiobook during my commutes in and around Chicago. The concept of donāt sweat the small stuff is modern wrapping paper placed on the gift of traditional philosophy.
I wasnāt ready to implement and habitualize the concept back then. Because it was just touching on the edges of philosophies like stoicism and taoism. I didnāt need to dip my toes in philosophy and spirituality, I needed to dive head first into the deep end. Because my head was already drowning in constant thoughts and negative emotions.
Flushing the negative judgements of myself and others with the pressure washer of philosophy and the cleansing waters of a spirituality practice were what I needed then, and what is helping me so much, now.
But some people need to just dip there toes in. Change is hard. Paradigms die hard. Perception shifts are slow. The modern personal development/self help genre is built on the foundation philosophy.
So do check out some non fiction self help books, audio books, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc if you need help. Modern people, language, examples and stories will be a necessary ingredient for many people. Since ageism applies to concepts as well as people in the world we live in.
Studying philosophy, specifically Stoicism has been a life saver for me.
I have found stoicism and a meditation practice go together like peanut butter and jelly.
Which is appropriate, since the most famous work of the most famous stoic in the history of the world is called āMeditationsā by Marcus Aurelius.
The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday has been one of the best things Iāve ever incorporated into my life. The book, the podcast, and the YouTube videos. I strongly recommend any and all to any person who reads my words.
Listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast first thing in the morning was a staple of my routine for years when it was just a couple of minutes long. In recent years, especially the last two, watching a Daily Stoic video on YouTube with my morning coffee has been how I start my days.
It puts my head in the right placeā¦along with the coffee of course.
The concept of we donāt control what happens to us, we control how we respond has been not just a game changer, but a life saver. That concept completely changed my paradigm of my life at a time when my life desperately needed that change.
Stoicism is no magic pill of course. No such thing exists.
Philosophy has been a tremendous aide. A wonderful tool in the tool belt of helping myself and developing as a person. A way to help keep my ego in check.
First world, capitalist controlled, consumer countries all have out of control, exploited egos by cultural design. We suffer for it because we can never have enough externally. Stoicism teaches that we already have enough, internally.
Anarchy Journal Constitutional 