Posts Tagged ‘personal development’

Everyday Above Ground is a Good Day

Posted: April 18, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Somewhere between establishing a regular meditation practice and stumbling into studying philosophy via podcasts and YouTube videos, I became grateful to just be alive.

I used to be very pessimistic. Pessimism and depression go hand in hand. I used to be very depressed too. Ages 14 and 26 are when depression bit my head off and almost took me all the way down to drown in darkness.

I don’t remember exactly when or why I decided that I wanted to stay. But I stayed. I’m glad I did. I’m very grateful to be alive.

That doesn’t mean life is perfect. No such thing as perfect. That doesn’t mean that life is all sunshine and rainbows. Life is challenges. In all of life there is suffering, the First Noble Truth of Buddhism.

But to me, life is good, I’m glad to be alive.

Everyday above ground is a good day.

I used to say this habitually when people would ask me how I was doing or what’s going on or just as a general retort for a general greeting I would receive from friends, acquaintances, etc.

I stopped saying it when I said it to a woman who was suffering, clearly suffering, she told me in a very calm manner why she was suffering, then excused herself as she started crying. In all of life there is suffering. I felt tremendous empathy for that stranger in that moment. I remember thinking, just because I feel that way, doesn’t mean I need to broadcast it.

Actions > Words

Everyday above ground is a good day.

I do believe that is true. No one is forcing us to stay. We are free to leave at anytime. It has never been easier for one to leave this life if they don’t want to be here.

I think that might have been what convinced me to stay. I had been in such a negative state for so long, while having done so little, if anything to change my situation, that it got to the stage of, shit or get off the pot. Either stay or leave. But if I’m going to stay, I’m not going to be a cynical, pessimistic, energy vampire, negative asshole. So get pragmatically positive or leave.

So I chose to stay. I’m glad I did. I would advise most habitually negative people to have the same talk with themself, make the choice to stay or leave, and act accordingly.

Being grateful to be alive doesn’t make bad things not happen. Gratitude for one’s existence doesn’t mean challenges stop coming or suffering ceases. It provides a solid foundation to go from and a comfortable landing to fall back on when the challenges of life and suffering of existence present themselves.

Meditation practice helped me to cultivate inner space between stimulus and response for me to plug this gratitude for life into. If one has no inner space or inner peace, there isn’t time for gratitude because of the constant knee-jerk reactions to all the stimuli.

Philosophy studies helped provide context and perspective to existence and the human condition. Combining a meditation practice and philosophy study has provided me with a calibrated, pragmatic attitude of gratitude, sans toxic new age narcissistic positivity.

Every day above ground is a good day.

What about bad days? Well, what do you mean by bad? Is there universal bad? Or is bad a perception? Is bad a thought? Is bad a judgement? How do you know what bad is?

You mean challenging days? You mean days with suffering? Days with more suffering than neutrality or enjoyment? How do you know what a challenge is? How do you know what suffering is?

I guess I missed the meeting that said life is supposed to always be good all the time no exception ever.

There is no escaping the yin yang.

No light without dark. No silence without noise. No sweet without sour. No cold without hot. No wet without dry. No high without low. No life without death. No good without bad.

Everyday above ground is a good day.

Know Thyself

Posted: April 10, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Who am I?

A great question to ask oneself every day.

Who am I?

A meditation session prompt.

Who am I?

A spiritual practice in and of itself.

Who am I?

To be asked out loud and inside one’s head.

Who am I?

A name, a body, a gender, an ethnicity, an age, a job, a hobby, an economic class, a caste, a consumer, a thought, an emotion…

Who am I?

My thoughts, my opinions, my pop culture tastes, my bank account, my family name, my emotions, my judgements, my clothes, my car, my clout…

Who am I?

A question that seems so simple and easy. But when you take away all the basic, shallow, material answers, what is left?

Is it like asking the question where do thoughts come from? Where do dreams come from? Why do I breathe and blink automatically? What happens when we die? What will my next thought be?

Is it like one of those questions? Cause the answer isn’t one’s name, job, height, weight, or what we do for fun.

Who am I?

I found looking into that question, seeking the answer, to be as worthwhile of an undertaking as any I have ever engaged in. Finding answers from people like Alan Watts, Ram Dass and Eckhart Tolle brought something into my life that I desperately needed and feel most people are in desperate need of.

Like taking off soaking wet clothes after coming inside from a rain storm.

Who am I?

Oh, I’m not the constant streams of thoughts and emotions? I’m not how much value I can create in the capitalist system? I’m not the voice in my head? I’m not my memories? I’m not my successes? I’m not my future projections? I’m not my failures? What a relief.

Who am I?

I could not have hoped for fulfillment or contentment beyond a sugar high if I hadn’t learned the answer to that question. Maybe that’s when I first started living. I know that I am grateful to have the answer. No magic pill. No cure all. But without it I was truly lost. A slave to my moods and to things outside of my ability to control or influence.

Who am I?

Minimizing Mental Disconnects

Posted: April 9, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Common sense isn’t so common.

There is no universal experience after all. Every human being who has ever lived and will ever live will experience the world differently.

So how can there be common sense?

What is common to one is radical to another.

In myself and others I notice gaps between perception and reality when it comes to simple everyday type things. Not the big stuff. Not the metaphorical stuff. Not the complex stuff.

We all have mental disconnects. We forget. Our judgement lapses. We miscalculate.We overextend. We underestimate.

Mental disconnects, I know I’ve had plenty. Just yesterday I thought I was really firing on all cylinders. It wasn’t until midway through today that I realized I forgot to do two of the most important tasks I had planned for the day before.

I didn’t think about them at all. I had them noted. I knew I had to do them. Yet the thought to do two separate, planned tasks, escaped me for a day and a half. Yikes.

Mental disconnects. That’s the term I’m using for them.

Trying to minimize them comes more and more into focus as the years go on for me. I guess it can fall into the same category as trying to minimize mistakes.

I suppose one could put mental disconnects in the same category as self sabotage. Another interesting concept many people try not to think about. I know I’ve dealt with self sabotage, and not just in the distant past either.

Those seemingly innocuous concepts that also double as dirty words because of what they imply about humans and the human condition. Those things fascinate me. Because we are not perfect. I know I’m not.

Mental disconnects cause trouble and setbacks and problems. Not individually big, but they can compound. Trying to minimize mental disconnects is the work of a lifetime. A way to give meaning to the seemingly meaningless.

Is it a simple error in judgement? Or is it a mental disconnect that implies self sabotage? The quest for self improvement and personal development isn’t a quick, easy or simple one. If it was, the world would be an unrecognizable utopia of billions of people being the best version of themselves.

I know when I figure out a mental disconnect that has caused me trouble I feel accomplished. I feel I’ve done something worth while. Like fixing a leak or changing out a flat tire.

I feel that if I can figure out some of the smaller ones, eventually I’ll get to the bigger ones. You know, the life changing type things. Life is a serious of small steps and little things strung together and compounded over time. If I figure out the little things that go wrong, maybe that will lead to large scale solutions.

Maybe, possibly, but a worthwhile endeavor.

There’s work to be done, miles to go, but worth the trip.

Our Journey Doesn’t End Until We’re Gone

Posted: April 8, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Time only moves one way.

Whether it’s a construct or not. The sun rises and sets each day. The planet keeps rotating. We keep living until we don’t. Change is the only constant.

There is no arriving. There is no way to freeze time. All we can do is be fully in the moment. To breathe it all in. Take it all in. Commit the moment(s) to memory as best we can.

Then the next moment comes.

And the next one.

And the next one.

And the next one.

Time only moves one way.

We keep living, until we don’t.

What we think, what we feel, what we do doesn’t make time speed up or slow down. The moments don’t stop coming because we’re in a bad mood or having the best day ever.

There is no reset button.

Time only moves one way.

Stoic philosophy has taught me that people have been living as if they were going to live forever, for as long as there has been civilized society. Our survival instincts are swapped out for cruise control.

We’re all guilty of this. Seize the day is a ticket to hedonism. Denial of our death is equally irresponsible. I know when I look back on my life, I see large swaths of wasted time.

I’ve almost died twice. Yet within months of those incidents, I was certainly back to wasting time as if I had an infinite source of it.

When I look back at some of the memorable moments of my life. Whether it be accomplishment or failure, those events are followed by lots of wasted time. What is wasted time? Well, we all have to define that for ourselves based on our values.

Moments of failure were followed by periods of morning. Moments of accomplishment were followed by periods of celebration. It was as if I thought time paused until I was ready to do the next thing, to start the next journey.

But life is the journey. From the moment we are born until the moment we die we are on a journey. It doesn’t stop while we sleep. It doesn’t stop while we eat. It doesn’t stop while we use the bathroom. It doesn’t stop while we commute. It doesn’t stop while we’re doing chores. It doesn’t stop while we’re doing busy work. It doesn’t stop while we’re intoxicated. It doesn’t stop while we’re sick.

Life doesn’t stop, the journey doesn’t end, until we’re gone.

I found stoic philosophy after my first parent died. I embraced stoic philosophy and my meditation practice both that much more when my second parent died.

Keeping death in mind is no magic pill or cure all that makes us live our best lives an ever increasing better version of ourselves, but it does help with perspective. I know my life was lacking in perspective for a long time.

Pairing perspective with perseverance is a good one two punch for knocking me back on my path when I veer off course. Both perspective and perseverance are helpful, pragmatic concepts to utilize on a journey.

And we are on a journey. Life is a journey and it doesn’t end, until we’re gone.

Changes Are Horizons

Posted: April 6, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Does any concept lend itself better to metaphor than change?

Perhaps only life and death.

Change is hard. You know this. I know this. Podcasters and self help gurus who try to convince us otherwise know this.

You know how we know change is hard? Because if it was easy, then we would all change for the better, for individual then mutual benefit, and we would be living in a literal utopia.

Change is hard, that is why it lends itself so well to metaphor.

Change involves metaphor as much as the literal.

We have to change in immaterial ways before we can change in material ways. We have to change our minds before we can change anything. Is changing our mind a literal thing or a metaphorical thing?

What is our mind? Where do our thoughts come from and where do they go?

Changing our mind means expanding our horizon(s). To push up against the limit of our perception and to then go far enough to reach the unknown and to become familiar with it.

When we reach the new horizon, what next? What’s left? What to do?

If change were easy we would know what to do, how to do it, how to habitualize it, and take inspired action by default. But change is not easy. Change may not be complex, but simple and easy are not same just as there is difference between what is difficult and what is complicated.

Does one have to go all in on change? Is incremental change a thing? Do we dip our toes in the water first or do we cannonball in and submerge ourselves in the cold plunge of the new and unknown?

Habits of thought, perception, emotion, and action would indicate that we have to change incrementally. In the never ending story of trying to replace detrimental habits with beneficial ones, we can reach a point of whatever it takes and whatever works.

Change is hard. Knowing what to do and doing it. Being socially conditioned into thinking that doing something once equates to permanent success and happiness certainly doesn’t help for those of us raised by movies and television.

Is taking a break the same as giving up? Are rest days necessary or are they for the weak? What does alpha even mean anyway?

I remember when finding information required effort. Then the information was easily accessible. Now it’s hard to find again because we have to sift through the misinformation, native ads, digital clutter, and distractions. That’s if we decide to try and change and seek out knowledge to help us.

Meditation and philosophy help me declutter my mind and emotions. They help me to focus my actions in at least a generally beneficial direction. They provide a spring board and rest stop for me when I decide to try.

Aging has taught me that time keeps going and the world keeps moving. That combination has given me some awareness and equanimity, two concepts that at least create a solid foundation for change.

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