Posts Tagged ‘personal growth’

Inner Peace Amidst Outer Chaos

Posted: July 6, 2025 in Stimulus Space Response
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Inner peace is a term that has been used and abused over the years for a variety of reasons. It’s become a cliche and a buzzword, which in the everything-is-content-for-influencers era seems to be inevitable. But having inner peace or seeking inner peace in times of outer chaos is something that everyone can get behind.

One’s life experience is enough to know this: no matter what you do, life is better with some inner peace. Inner peace leads to better decisions, empathy, and deep conversations. It also improves active listening.

“Peace is not the absence of conflict. It is the ability to handle conflict with skillfulness.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Inner peace lets us exercise courage, discipline, ambition, and restraint. It helps us engage with life instead of being jerked around by it. Inner peace isn’t just for yogis, meditation practitioners, and philosophy students. It is for everyone, and it is as important as cultivating physical health and critical thinking skills.

In my experience, I have found that inner peace is often confused with external peace. Inner peace is not a lack of strife, stress, or challenges. Inner peace is a calm state of being within ourselves, regardless of what is happening around us.

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Stoicism is rooted in identifying what is within our control and what is outside of our control. Learning of that concept helped me a lot. But, the idea of equanimity has been a lifesaver. It means accepting what we can’t control.

Accepting what we can’t control flows right into accepting the impermanent nature of life. I love how philosophical practices can flow into spiritual concepts which can flow into humanistic techniques.

  • Practicing mindfulness
  • Gratitude
  • Detachment
  • Acceptance
  • Congruence
  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Building meaningful relationships.

Are those the strategies of philosophy, spirituality, or humanism?

The answer is all of the above. After almost 20 years of study, I find a constant. The similarities in these systems, or disciplines, are a metaphorical pressure release valve.

Not a hack, a magic pill, a quick fix, or a miracle cure because no such thing exists. Rather a clear path to inner peace. Being able to take a deep breath in knowing what I’m going through isn’t new or unique.

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. ” — Epictetus

I am a human being going through what the majority of human beings go through. Knowing that there have been people for thousands of years experiencing similar internal and external challenges and have created systems, disciplines, strategies, and techniques to deal with the obstacles of existence.

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That harmony among the ancient teachings helps to cultivate inner peace before one acts on the wisdom. The symmetry between Stoicism, Taoism, Buddhism, and Humanism removes an inner fear of isolated deficiency within me. The confusion of what to do is taken away. The immature hope for a quick fix dissolves.

The what to do is there. It is simply a matter of doing. And the simpler we can make living, the more likely we are to cultivate inner peace for ourselves.

The Beginner’s Mind Is the Bravest Mind

Posted: April 20, 2025 in Stimulus Space Response
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I thought I had to wait until I was ready. But the truth is, readiness comes after the return — not before.

The act of beginning again is itself the practice — not a flaw in the process, but the process. We tend to think of starting over as something reserved for mistakes or failures, as if it’s a sign we’ve strayed off course. But what if beginning again is actually the most honest course we can take?

Every breath is a reset. Every day we wake up alive is a quiet invitation to try once more — this time with a little more clarity, a little more compassion, a little less ego. We are not meant to stay in motion uninterrupted. We are meant to pause, to question, to recommit. To begin again is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

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This idea — that beginning again is not a detour but the path itself — is something the Stoics understood deeply. To them, each moment was a fresh opportunity to align with reason, virtue, and the present.

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” — Marcus Aurelius

The urgency here isn’t morbid — it’s motivational. It’s a call to reset with intention, without needing a grand reason. Just the present moment is reason enough. Focusing on what I have control over, in the present moment, and then taking action with a sense of urgency is a balanced approach to life that Stoicism has brought to my attention many times.

Where Stoicism urges us to meet the moment with discipline, Taoism invites us to meet it with ease. If the Stoics offer a firm hand on the tiller, the Tao offers an open palm to the wind.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” — Lao Tzu

There’s wisdom in allowing our return — our beginning again — to unfold naturally, like water finding its path downhill. Taoism helps to take the weight off our backs and reduce the pressure we put on ourselves.

Taoism teaches us to flow, but Buddhism teaches us to see. To see the moment clearly, without clinging or resistance. In the Buddhist view, every beginning is just part of the great cycle of arising and passing away. The breath in. The breath out. There is no need to carry the weight of yesterday when the present is already enough.

“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” — Buddha

These ancient philosophies of nature and simplicity feel more vital than ever in a world shaped by constant productivity, curated identities, and hustle culture. Internally and externally, we’re pressured to do more, be more, and prove our worth through performance.

That pressure often leads to stagnation, analysis paralysis, and burnout. But revisiting these timeless teachings — ones that predate democracy and capitalism — offers calming reassurance. It reminds us that what we’re feeling isn’t failure. It’s human. And it makes beginning again feel not only acceptable, but natural.

Returning to the present — the Stoic, Taoist, and Buddhist invitation to simply be — also finds support in modern psychology and neuroscience. Where ancient wisdom speaks in metaphors and mantras, contemporary science offers data and neural pathways.

Dr. Andrew Huberman often reminds us that real change begins not with motivation, but with action. Tiny, repeated actions reshape the brain through neuroplasticity. So even when the mind says, “Why bother starting over?” the body can respond, “Because this is how we grow.”

Science may explain how we change, but philosophy still asks us why. Why return to a craft, a calling, a version of yourself you once abandoned?

The answer, I’ve found, is rarely logical. It’s personal. It’s emotional. Because I’m a person and people aren’t logical, we are emotional beings.

Sometimes it’s a whisper — other times a reckoning. But whatever shape it takes, it’s a form of recommitment. Not to some imagined perfection, but to the values and curiosities that make us feel most alive.

“You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.” — Alan Watts

All of this — the philosophy, the science, the stillness — eventually brought me back to something simple but easy to forget: the quiet power of recommitment. Not a dramatic restart. Not a brand-new version of me. Just a returning.

A choice to keep showing up, to remember what matters most, and to walk toward it again, even if slowly. I’ve realized it’s not about being perfectly consistent. It’s about being consistently willing to try — to give whatever effort you have in you, in the moment.

There will always be reasons to delay the return — doubt, fear, the feeling that we’ve waited too long. But the truth is, we don’t need permission to begin again. Not from others, and not even from our past selves.

The beginner’s mind is the bravest mind. The moment we choose to return — to a habit, a purpose, a part of ourselves — we’re already on the path. Whether it’s through meditation, journaling, movement, or simply pausing to take a breath, there are so many ways to come home to yourself. Whichever path you take, just know this: beginning again doesn’t make you a beginner. It makes you human. It makes you brave.

Letting Go of Old Stories for New Beginnings

Posted: November 10, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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It can be offputting to hear the concept that the past is nothing more than thoughts in our heads. We know it happened. Often, we have physical proof that it happened. But when it’s over, where does the past exist in the present moment?

For many of us (myself included) our past exists in the present through the stories we tell ourselves in our heads. We turn a singular experience into a defining trait. We do this by repeating a narrative to ourselves and the world, over and over.

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius

Our memory of the past and how we think and feel about ourselves in the present are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves and others about it. For better and for worse, this creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. For many, it creates a vicious circle that, without awareness or action, can become destiny disguised as fate.

“We become what we think about all day long.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It isn’t the past or even the self-talk stories about the past that are the problem; rather, our attachment to them is the problem. The first time I got a whiff of attachment as the root of all suffering was listening to the audiobook version of A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. That was about a year or two before I started habitually doing guided meditation practices. I can remember not wanting to get out of my car in my university’s parking lot because I was so mesmerized by what I was hearing.

“The root of suffering is attachment.” — Buddha

Unfortunately, hearing and reading the concept didn’t create a miracle-epiphany-cure all. It danced around in my head for a minute before exiting stage left and being drowned out by habitual thoughts and emotions in the other direction. But I can still remember sitting in that parking lot to this day. So it’s fair to say that at least a seed was planted that day.

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Repetition is key to learning. We need to hear, see and do things repeatedly for them to stick. That is why the stories in our heads become our destiny. We repeat them more times than we could ever possibly count. It is also how we let go of the old stories and define ourselves by what we do in each present moment. Repetition.

I had to hear and read about the concept of attachment as the root of suffering repeatedly but also phrased differently. I’ve gravitated to Stoicism, Buddhism, and Taoism over the years because I feel that many of their core principles overlap. Amor Fati and Wu Wei. Letting go of attachment and choosing to focus on what is within your control. I feel like before I learned these principles my life was all yin and no yang or vice versa.

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Journaling can create mental space. It does this by getting our thoughts, emotions, and self-talk onto paper. We can use meditation to cultivate awareness. We can also tap into the wisdom of ancient philosophies and spiritual practices. They have helped people with our issues for thousands of years. A gratitude practice can help us habitually think positively. It can also boost our mood and beliefs.

With enough consistent, focused execution we can create new narratives for ourselves because we will be living new lives. Maybe externally everything may look the same. But our experience of the world is from the inside out.

I have had to challenge myself constantly to journal, to be more mindful, and to be more grateful. To shift focus from the external to the internal. From the past to the present. From the negative to the positive. And it is a challenge, but it is a challenge worth undertaking. Why? Because habitualizing these practices allows us to begin again infinitely.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”- Max Planck

Discovering Our Potential by Cultivating Personal Power

Posted: October 1, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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“Your life is a message to yourself. What is it saying?” — Ram Dass

Personal power can come across as a nausea-inducing cliche. The collateral damage of the toxic positivity movement of retro self-help gurus and modern influencers. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. A concept as important and helpful as personal power, like most good things, seems fated to be used as a tool to take for the few, rather than give to the many.

Self-control and self-discipline don’t have much if any of an eye-roll factor. They may have an ick factor for the general folks. Ick factor as in, “ick I don’t want to deploy self-control/self-discipline in this situation, I’ve earned my treat.” I know I’ve been that way more times than I would care to count or remember.

“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” — Seneca

Personal power isn’t a buzzword because it isn’t a one-and-done, miracle-cure, magic pill. Personal power is the result of the process of living life, utilizing self-control one step at a time, and deploying self-discipline one choice at a time. It is a gradual process, not an instant achievement. It is a process we are either strengthening or decaying with our actions until the day we die.

We all exercise personal power more than we think in our day-to-day lives. Regardless of background, age, sex, economic status. If we all as a society, as a species, didn’t possess a high level of personal power then we wouldn’t have societies or cultures period. So when talking about personal power, self-control, and/or self-discipline the first thing to do is often the most overlooked which is to give ourselves some credit.

But we know internally, silently, when we’re alone, when we look at ourselves in the mirror that we can do more and be better. Not in some pie-in-the-sky way, but measured against our past actions and against our future goals. I know I can’t be the only one who has felt and feels that way. It’s not that I’m trying to be Superman or what influencers pretend to be on social media. It’s when I do the right things, give the right effort, and consistently take the right action but then fall off and seemingly forget how to do it and that I did it.

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” — Alan Watts

So what do we do? How do we get better? We know we have to do, try, take action, and put forth effort but we as humans need to be taught everything. We would be crawling on all fours, urinating, and defecating ourselves if we weren’t taught to walk and potty trained. So something like growing one’s power through self-discipline and control needs to be taught and unfortunately, schools would rather teach us algebra and dodgeball. So it’s up to us to teach ourselves. Luckily there are philosophical ideas, spiritual concepts, and humanistic approaches that can provide us with simple, pragmatic steps for growth. Simple, not easy…as is life.

Personal power is often thought of and referred to as an external thing but it is completely created from the inside out from doing internal work. We can’t control if we influence other people or situations. But we can control what we do to cultivate our inner strength, our inner peace, the strength of our character, our self-control, and our self-discipline. This is the Stoic Dichotomy of Control. Our pursuit of self-mastery is always within our control. Stoicism has been an immense help to me in introducing me to the concepts of what is within and what is outside of our control.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” — Epictetus

Pursuing external personal power may have an eye-roll factor, but pursuing internal self-mastery is as universally noble of a purpose and life’s work as there is, since there is nothing harder or more complex for the average person like myself to seek. Philosophy can help create awareness and identify what we need to focus on. Journaling was probably the first productive habit I cultivated as an adult and is a Stoic exercise that helps us to reflect and look ahead through the lens of timeless principles.

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Spirituality-based practices like meditation and yoga can guide us along the way by also giving us things to do to cultivate self-control and self-discipline on the path. Mindfulness meditation has been a lifesaver for me over the past decade and a half. Self-improvement can turn to self-punishment early and often. Day-to-day living can be a challenge. Meditation has helped me cultivate greater awareness and compassion for myself in the face of internal and external challenges.

Habitualizing a consistent yoga practice has taken a tremendous amount of self-control and self-discipline over many years for me. I find regular yoga practice helps my body feel the way regular meditation practice helps my mind and heart feel. Feeling good through consistent, active action rather than passive escapism is a path to self-mastery and personal power.

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” — Gautama Buddha

Ultimately cultivating our personal power starts with the humanistic belief in our inherent goodness and potential. Stoic journaling and resilience combined with Buddhist mindfulness as well as the Taoist principle of getting into and being in harmony with nature is a combination that works for me. I find these concepts and practices help level out the disjointed nature of modern living for me. This allows me to find stillness and space within myself to harvest beneficial habits of thought, perception, and emotion internally which produces the right action externally.

The journey is different for everyone. We all have to walk our path. But some timeless principles and paradigms will outlive us all that can make life a little less complex, a little easier, and help us harvest our personal power a little more. Doing so can make our individual lives and the world we live in a better place.

“Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” — Lao Tzu

Breaking Free of Judgement & Going Beyond Blame

Posted: September 28, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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“To judge another is to judge oneself.” — Wayne Dyer

One of the things we all have in common is that we are constantly judging. We judge ourselves. We judge other people. We judge our environment. We judge our past. We judge our potential future. We judge our actions. We judge our bodies. We judge our minds. We judge our failures. We judge our successes. We judge effort. We judge results. We judge our intentions.

We judge what has happened, what could have happened, what is happening, what we think will happen, what we think should happen. We judge. It’s hard-wired into us as a species. It’s part of why we have survived. However, we continue to learn that so much of how we have been hard-wired to survive and thrive in the past, is hindering us with hidden suffering in the modern world.

“Most of our unhappiness comes from our own thoughts, not from our circumstances.” — Dalai Lama

Hard-wired is a very fitting term for our unconscious habit of constantly judging ourselves and others. Many days, if not most days, in any situation regardless of the perception of positive or negative, we instantly, without knowing or choosing, slip into a state of judging. We all do it. It’s not a one-time occurrence and isn’t a one-time fix to stop doing it. That’s the thing with habits. For better and for worse, we do them automatically.

Why do we constantly, unconsciously judge ourselves and others? Why is it hard-wired into us? Like so many things that cause problems for humans in the modern world, our brains haven’t evolved much since we were cavemen. Our judging helped us survive as hunter-gatherers outside of our tribe(s) and helped us to build communities within our tribe(s).

“True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It is remembering that everyone deserves compassion.” — Jack Kornfield

Our brains are hard-wired for quick categorization and evaluation. This is more commonly known as the fight or flight (or freeze) response. Fight or flight response can wreak havoc on our lives by creating an unreasonable internal reaction to a reasonable external situation. It has for me and likely has for you as well. Our unreasonable internal reaction is a cognitive bias shaped by our past. When fight or flight kicks in, we aren’t actually reacting or interacting with the present moment, we are having a trauma response and are reacting to the past in the present.

Living in the past and reacting to the past in the present is the opposite of positive, productive, or beneficial. Yet that is our default way of thinking, perceiving, and living. We have to be made aware of it and then taught a better way, then practice that way consistently until it is habitualized. That seems more valuable to me than learning algebra or the periodic table, but oh, there I go judging again.

With evolutionary roots and psychological purpose, how can judging be so detrimental to us? Well, it’s not judging itself that’s bad, it’s negative judgments that are severely counterproductive. Negative judgments about ourselves are a straight path to low self-esteem. Negative judgments about others create social barriers and kill the potential to develop empathy. Positive judgments are helpful and constructive but take a look around, does it look like the world has a surplus of positive judgment going on?

Mindfulness and meditation practices have been life savers for me. I have been my own worst critic for my entire life. Negative self-talk was a big problem for me for a very long time. Guided meditation practices (specifically from the Calm app) helped introduce me to mindfulness in short, simple, easy-to-do ways. Reading and studying Stoic philosophy and spirituality teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, and Alan Watts helped me change my paradigm and perception of life.

“Let go of the need to always be right.” — Eckhart Tolle

Paradigms shift slowly. It has taken a long time and is an ongoing practice to be a true friend to myself instead of a critic. Just this year I emphasized and have seen success in shifting my self-talk to that of a friend. Referring to myself as a “friend” internally has been very beneficial because doing so defaults to self-compassion instead of self-criticism.

Compassion for ourselves and empathy for others are mandatory for trying to turn the rutter of our unconscious habit of negative judging. Rutters don’t do quick, sharp turns. It’s slow moving heavy mass. But even a slight change can chart a whole new course if one persists. That’s how change works in life.

Choose to focus on the positive rather than the negative. Choose curiosity instead of criticism. Not once or twice. Not only out in the light of the public eye. But again and again when we are alone in the dark. That’s the real test. That’s when our habits are made. That’s when we’re living. That’s when we’re choosing who we are, by what we do, for better and for worse.

“To understand everything is to forgive everything.” — Alexander Pope

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