Posts Tagged ‘pro wrestling’

#hijackRAW or Trolls Being Trolls & Trolling Trolls Trying to Unite Trolls

Posted: March 7, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoAJC abbreviated

by @anarchyroll
3/7/2014

Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Was RAW in Chicago this past week good because of the threat of #hijackRAW? Or did WWE play their audience like a violin and cut their strings?

I have much love and respect for the organizers of #hijackRAW, or I suppose I should say the attempted organizers.

Before they even got to the arena, during the week leading up, the trolls were out in full force spitting their mirrored self loathing venom at the @chicagorawcrowd for trying to try at something, anything, that involved something they love and want to improve. Then of course the minute Vince McMahon didn’t walk to the middle of the ring to ask CM Punk for the privilege to suck his dick on live television to prove he wanted him to be in the main event of WrestleMania, everyone turned on everybody.

I’m just kidding, they couldn’t turn on each other because they were never united. Trolls jealous an spiteful that they didn’t have the brains, balls, or creativity to attempt something like #hijackRAW movement were shitting on the concept in advance of shitting on it Monday night.

The movement didn’t do themselves any favors by being naive enough to think that Vince McMahon cares what they say after they pay to get in the arena to try and mess with one of 52 live broadcasts in a year. But all us wrestling fans are naive. We are all consciously naive, after all if we weren’t, after seeing one UFC event we would never watch pro wrestling again out of shame.

But wrestling is about imagination, creativity, and vicarious living. The hijack organizers were just a little too naive, and slightly too big marks to enact any meaningful change. Paul Heyman knew this, and like the lapdog of Vince McMahon he has always been, went out there and did what he has done best since 2001, destroyed the heart, spirit, and will of adult, male smart mark wrestling fans.

What happened to the crowd was sad. Put all the cynicism, sarcasm, snarkyness, and told ya so bullshit you want over it. If you’re a male wrestling fan over the age of 21, you hoped something meaningful would happen on Monday, and it didn’t. The Usos winning the tag titles means nothing. Cena and Wyatt’s promos mean nothing. The crowd shouting down Triple H and Stephanie (barely) for one segment means nothing. It was just another RAW on the Road to WrestleMania. One RAW out of 52 that will happen this calendar year.

The fans couldn’t stop tripping over each other or going into business for themselves to get a message across that didn’t involve CM Punk. If any other crowds are considering following suit, may I advise using profanity to piss of the censors and really putting Vince on his heels. Better yet, the only way to send a message is to #BoycottRAW not to pay $50, $100, $150 or more per ticket, buy merchandise, concessions, and pay for parking to say you don’t support what a publically traded organization is doing.

But kudos for the effort. Props for the desire. Respect for trying something which is always better than trying nothing. Maybe some other crowds will follow suit and learn from the failures of the Chicago crowd. Failures are just lessons after all. We all learned some things on Monday. Whether we wanted to or not.

#Rampage Defends Pro Wrestling’s Honor

Posted: February 12, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogosportsrollby @anarchyroll
2/21/2014

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is one of the greatest mixed martial artist of all time. Undeniably one of the greatest knockout artists the sport has ever seen even if his place in the overall pantheon is questioned. Jackson is also a lifelong fan of professional wrestling. Jackson recently defended pro wrestling’s legitimacy from its haters.

Calling pro wrestling fake is outdated. The correct term is pre determined. The correct term is wrestling is live entertainment like theater or exhibition stunt shows. Theater actors get injured on stage, stunt people get injured on movie sets, and neither group works three hundred plus days a year like professional wrestlers do. If they do, they’re not getting their bodies thrown onto plywood covered by insulation padding and canvas.

Rampage isn’t the only highly successful mixed martial artist to defend the legitimacy of pro wrestling and pro wrestlers. On episode four of The Steve Austin Show, Chael Sonnen talked about how when he needed to get serious about his cardio, he went and trained with pro wrestlers.

No wrestling fan over the age of ten thinks that they are seeing a sporting event. But last I checked, plenty of people go and see concerts to hear songs they already know the lyrics to, pack movie theaters to see fictional events played out in spectacular fashion, and Photoshop the hell out of realistic photos to make them more pleasing to the eye.

Pro wrestling is entertainment, it is a simulated, exhibition combat sporting event with a predetermined winner. It’s where the NFL meets Broadway. A synergy of live sports and live theater. But those bumps and high spots you see that make you pop hurt. Those muscled up bodies you see taking said bumps take years of discipline and dedication in gyms to form. Those larger than life characters and emotionally gripping verbal exchanges take lifetimes of preparation to execute to perfection.

So have some fucking respect. Pro athletes from the NFL, NHL, NBA habitually talk about how pro wrestlers are the best athletes on the planet because they don’t have an offseason. 300 plus days a year on the road. A band that literally never stops touring except if they get physically injured beyond what band aids and pain killers can mask.

Still think pro wrestlers can’t hold a lick to real fighters. Then I’ve got two words for ya,  Brock Lesnar.

#CMPunk = The Real McCoy

Posted: January 31, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoajclogo2by @anarchyroll
1/31/2014

CM Punk walked out of WWE between the 2014 Royal Rumble going off the air and the January 27th 2014 episode of Monday Night Raw going on the air. In doing so, Punk cemented his legacy as the Stone Cold Steve Austin of his generation. Punk also showed the difference between the real thing and a cheap imitation; the Chicago Made Punk is the real thing.

WWE Superstars make guaranteed money nowadays, thank you Scott Hall and Kevin Nash.  In a way they are like sales people who makes a base salary but makes their real money from commission checks.  From 1985 to 1996, WWE Superstars were like sales people who were 100% commission based, and were literally dependent on a fat WrestleMania check for their livelihoods. CM Punk walked out of WWE over creative differences and burnout the night after the Road to WrestleMania began. He is definitely going to miss out on the biggest pay day of the year.

If CM Punk was some cheap imitation he would have bit his lip, sucked it up, faked a smile, gotten his WrestleMania check, then not resigned with the company when his contract is up in July or maybe just drove home from the Superdome and never looked back. But he didn’t, he got into shouting matches with medical and creative personnel backstage at RAW and informed Vince McMahon he was going home and not returning. CM Punk left a lot of money on the table by leaving when he did, the way he did. But he’s not about money, just ask Joey Matthews.

Why is he the Steve Austin of his generation? Austin did the same thing in the spring of 2002. Also like Austin, Punk is the best on the mic and in the ring simultaneously as Austin was in his prime, both bucked authority, both are Paul Heyman guys, both were initially held down by WWE management before exploding into mainstream pop culture popularity, and Austin has said Punk is the only guy he would come out of retirement to have a match with.

Will his legacy take a hit? Just the opposite, it is enhanced. In his pop culture cross over “Pipe Bomb” promo Punk spoke about his loathing of The Rock being a part timer and main eventing WrestleMania. What do you think he had to say backstage about Batista winning the Royal Rumble after a four year absence? Punk shouted for change in 2011. As 2014 begins the top spots of WWE are occupied by John Cena, Randy Orton, Batista, Sheamus, Big Show, and Brock Lesnar, sounds familiar.

Maybe Punk left because he selfishly felt he should main event Mania. Well he’s a workhorse in the ring, cuts the best promos bar none, moves merchandise, gets paid top dollar, is as over with the female children as he is with the adult males, and Vince trusts him; why not put him in the main event? PS he worked the Rumble for 50 minutes.

I think we all know why he left. It’s directly correlated to the live crowd’s reaction to the last ten minutes of the Royal Rumble pay per view. In 2011 CM Punk shouted for change. The change was Vince needed to start actually listening to what the fans wanted organically rather than using his billion dollar marketing machine to manufacture the consent of approval towards McMahon’s handpicked gym rats. Summerslam, Survivor Series, and the Royal Rumble proved beyond any shadow of any doubt that nothing has changed in the WWE.  CM Punk should have quit because of this and he did, like a real McCoy is supposed to do.

Pray for the #Heel

Posted: January 17, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoby @anarchyroll
1/16/2014

I really hope Dolph Ziggler doesn’t end up as a never was, he deserves better. More importantly, he earned better.

I know I know, he got the world title twice and both mid card belts for like six months at a time. But in twenty years will he be remembered? If he has to retire due to concussions, he’ll only be remembered as a what if story. There are worse things than retiring young, with money in the bank, and a university education in your back pocket. Look at Chris Nowinski, his life is far more meaningful now than if he got a series of secondary, transitional title runs during the heyday of the roster split.

But Dolph Ziggler could have been money, he should have been money, he should be doing what Orton is doing now. Sure he had his slip ups. The black dye job head shave immediately comes to mind. As does every match he had with CM Punk during Punk’s WWE Title run. And of course being passively blamed for Jerry Lawler’s infamous on air heart attack (by Jerry Lawler himself on Austin’s podcast). But Ziggles survived his stretches of nothing to do, mid card pushes that went nowhere, and congruence tests management threw at him and won the world title in front of one of the hottest crowds in wrestling history at the RAW after Mania last year. Just thinking and writing about him cashing in that briefcase is giving me goose bumps. You could see it on his face what was about to happen, and when it did happen, you could feel the emotion through the television set. Which is how it’s supposed to be for the top guys with the big gold belts.

If Ziggler is done, he’ll always have that night in New Jersey. He earned the belt, for real, before it had to be taken from him, for real. In a fake sport that’s saying a lot. And Ziggler has a lot of talent. Move set, charisma, mic skills, looks, and cardio all in abundance. He got over as a heel and as a face with the internet fans and the common fans. His t shirts were so brightly colored that they are easy to see in the crowd in the HD era, and there were a lot of Ziggler shirts in the crowds from 2012-2013.

I don’t just hope he comes back, I hope he comes back and management trusts him enough to give him the Undisputed Title. Sure he’d look good with the white IC Title but he is bigger than that belt, better than that belt, and has earned the real thing. Ziggler is a talent you build the roster around like Bret Hart back in the day because he can work with anyone. But if he comes back as a mid card gatekeeper, it will be just as sad as him having to retire, because both mean the same thing. That his time at the top that he earned, was taken from him by external forces outside of his ability to control or influence. That would be sad for the fans and bad for business, no doubt.

My #RoyalRumble 2014 Prediction

Posted: January 13, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoby @anarchyroll
1/13/2014

The Royal Rumble is right around the corner, the fourth biggest show of the year is definitely the company’s most unique.  The show is a representation of Vince McMahon’s ability to take an existing concept and improve it. The battle royal existed for decades, the Royal Rumble is the battle royal perfected. Single entrant style, with the winner getting the top spot, at the biggest show of the year as the prize.  The only way to make it any better was to have a ladder match battle royal which is what Money in the Bank is, with an even better prize to the winner.

Royal Rumble 2014 is on paper shaping up to be one of the best cards in the history of the event. 2002 presently takes the cake in my opinion with honorable mentions to 2001 and 1992.  The Undisputed Title will be on the line, Brock Lesnar will be having a singles match with someone he has chemistry and history with, and the Rumble match itself will see the advertised return of Batista with Sheamus and RVD likely returning as well though both are presently unconfirmed.

I believe Orton will retain the Undisputed Title and Lesnar will go over on Big Show.  The real question is who will win the Rumble, as it is every year.  Though as someone who can be considered a WWE “hater” I want to give props for how much effort they have put into beefing up the Rumble undercard the past half decade.

Daniel Bryan will win the Royal Rumble. I believe the Rumble will come down to him and Bray Wyatt and Bryan will return to face and eliminate Wyatt punching his ticket to the main event of Mania. Bryan and Wyatt can have a two month TV feud to hold him over until the Undisputed Champion going into Mania is determined at the Elimination Chamber PPV in February.

Daniel Bryan is the most popular wrestler in WWE. Cena makes the money, Bryan makes the crowd pop louder and longer than Cena EVER has.  They may not buy his merch as much, he may not pop ratings, but people are coming to the arenas to shout “YES! Y ES! YES!” and watch Bryan combine the technical proficiency of Chris Benoit with the sports entertainment acting of Hulk Hogan.

I think WWE knows what they have with Bryan. I think they have been building him while the internet thinks they have been burying him. I believe he has been filling time until he has his full face run as Undisputed Champion from Mania to Summerslam like many before him. His feuds with The Authority and Wyatt Family have been his ways of proving his overall well roundedness. Proving he is a good soldier, a company man, a team player, willing to play the game, and evolve rather than just stick to his indie shtick (cough, cough Chris Hero cough cough).

Bryan as champion makes storyline sense and financial sense. I believe Bryan will fight John Cena in the main event of WrestleMania with HEAVY storyline tie in of the Bella Twins who both are dating in real life. Total Divas season two premieres around WrestleMania. Bryan and Cena are the two biggest and hottest faces of the last decade. They had a MOTY candidate the second biggest show of the  year in 2013 and are yet to rematch.

Batista, Lesnar, Sheamus, Undertaker, CM Punk, Orton, Triple H will all take care of themselves with feature gimmick matches.  Cena vs. Bryan II for the Undisputed Title in the main event of the 30th Anniversary of WrestleMania is my pick, and I’m sticking to it until Vince McMahon changes his mind ten times between the night before the Rumble and the night after the Chamber…again.

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