We do it, we forget, then we remember again. Thatās why itās a practice.
Whatās a practice? Everything we do. Until weāre doing it without thinking. Until weāre doing it without thinking with proficiency. Until weāre doing it without thinking with excellence.
Itās all a practice.
Until weāre masters.
And the number of masters to have ever lived is smaller than we would like to think or than we would care to admit.
Iām a meditation practitioner, a philosophy practitioner, a weight lifting practitioner, a communications practitioner, a try not to be an asshole practitioner.
Itās all a practice.
We learn by doing.
We do it, we forget, then we remember again.
Thatās why life is a journey and not a destination. We never arrive. Change is the only constant. Weāre in a constant state of flux.
So we practice doing the things we want to do, the things we need to do, and the things we have to do.
We have to do, what we have to do.
Itās all a practice.
Itās why witnessing a masterpiece or being in the presence of masters of a craft has an almost universal emotional connection and appeal across demographics and generations. Rare isnāt the word for it. Language doesnāt do it justice.
What do we want to get better at? What do we need to improve? What must we learn?
We do it, we forget, then we remember again. Thatās why itās a practice.
Anything that lasts forever, or even a long time, loses itās appeal, becomes boring, gets taken advantage of, etc.
All experiences that we deem good or positive are that way because they donāt last. Same with the sting of the perceived negative.
Thereās that yin-yang again.
The hot burning flame versus the slow burning coal.
Happiness versus contentment.
Be aware of it, experience it, then let it go. For better and for worse.
Trying to make things permanent creates problems.
Suffering arises because of attachment to desires as a wise man once said.
I had one of the most productive stretches of time in recent years. Woke up sick the next day. Thereās that yin-yang again.
Then had a fun weekend with a friend is like a brother. But he had to go home. We werenāt sad at the end. We were grateful for the time well spent together and were both excited for what comes next for us individuality, respectively.
Letting go. Easier said than done. Like everything else, ever. But a little easier with practice. Just like everything else, everā¦
Just do it, over and over and over and over and over again.
Does it have to be great every time? NO
Does it have to be good every time? no
Do you still need to do it even when you donāt want to? Yes
That is where the mental disconnect is for myself and the majority of people when it comes to establishing and sticking to new habits. When starting something new, itās rarely if ever going to be good at first.
The not wanting to do something different is baked into the human condition. If starting and sticking to new, hard things was easy we would be living in a utopia.
What I have found in my experience is the lack of motivation gets its fuel from the thought of not wanting to be bad, look bad, come across as bad, etc.
Bad meaning inferior, mediocre, amateur, inadequate.
People donāt like looking foolish. Thatās human nature. One can notice this in the ratio of creators to critics.
One of the things that has helped me is taking enthusiasm and expectation of quality out of the equation. I have so many journal entries that have the line āIām just going through the motionsā written, then list what I did that day, what I ate that day, my current mood, etc. With the end goal being habitual daily journal writing.
Not quality journal writing. Habitual journal writing.
Not quality published essays/articles/blogs (at first). Habitually published essays/articles/blogs.
Itās so natural and so common and so normal to resist doing something because weāll be bad at it at first. I stopped playing video games because my friends all got way better than me and I didnāt want to keep losing to them and didnāt want to invest the time into getting better.
On the other end of the importance spectrum; after finally following my lifeās dream of becoming a professional wrestler, I resisted practicing and taking low level indy bookings because I didnāt want to look foolish or embarrass myself.
Every bar and nightclub in the history of the world has been filled with men and women who donāt talk to each other because theyāre scared of sounding foolish on approach and/or looking foolish if rejected.
So consider taking positive expectations, excitement, and enthusiasm out of the equation and just go through the motions. Literally saying to yourself internally or out load thatās what youāre doing in the process. Or writing it down. Or texting it to yourself. As long as the thing you want to do gets done, today.
Then the next day. Then the next day. Then next week. Then the week after that. Then next month. Then the month after that. Until itās just something you do. Until the thing you want to do is something that you start to do on autopilot. Until you know you are going to do it that day as your default setting when you wake up (and have your morning coffee).
Itās when we reach the point of doing it by default, that we can shift our focus to proficiency, quality, excellence, and hopefully one dayā¦mastery.
Thereās value in just going through the motions.
Many of my journal entries over the past year or two have ended with me writing the words; one thing at a time.
Getting started can be so, so hard. The internal resistance to putting forth external effort and action if measurable, would go off the charts and break the instruments.
When one is able to at least temporarily squeeze through or push past perfectionism and create something, regardless of quality, the inner pressure release and sense of relief would be the equivalent of sky diving, while holding and anvil.
One thing at a time
One action at a time
One choice at a time
What is quality? What is good and bad? The gatekeepers have been out to lunch for decades at this point. Just do it.
One thing I realized, after a very, very long time of thinking about it, journaling about it, meditating about it, drinking about itā¦was that if I really did think what I wanted to create was so bad then I wouldnāt be negatively judging otherās so frequently and/or so harshly.
But thatās not what weāre doing when weāre negatively judging other acts of creation. Weāre projecting self hatred. I know I was. It got to the point where I was getting into verbal conflicts with people I hardly knew at bars overā¦nothing. I think back to what started those verbal tiffs and after I cringe, I slap myself in the forehead and stay there because they never actually said or did anything. I was just projecting my self hatred onto others because I wasnāt doing what I wanted to do which was creating.
A creator that doesnāt create, otherwise known as a writer or artist sans the word professional prefixed.
Just publishing blogs, articles, essays, and thoughts has changed my mental and emotional state immeasurably. Is my content good? Is it important? Is it impactful? Well all metrics of external success would say no, then to pat me on my head and say at least you tried.
But itās good for me. Itās working for me. Itās helping me. And you canāt help others unless you help yourself first. You canāt feed others from an empty bowl. You canāt put on someone elseās oxygen mask if you are suffocating to death yourself.
People meaning me, meaning us, meaning everyone, ever.
We get these ideas in our head that we need or should or could or will.
Good ideas, bad ideas, neutral ideas, beneficial ideas, detrimental ideas.
We know we can be our own worst enemy. Yet itās solemnly publicly acknowledged outside of college philosophy, psychology, sociology, and anthropology classes.
Self sabotage. I donāt have to explain what that is. We all know it through repeated experience. Both in important and irrelevant things that weāve done to ourselves over the course of our lives regardless of age.
I could ask an 18 year old and an 80 year old to tell me a about a time they self sabotaged something that could have been a really good thing in their life, and theyāre likely to reply; āyou just want one example?ā
People get these ideas in their heads.
Out of nowhere. Like a meteor. It strikes and buries itself in the land.
Accepted as fact that itās always been there.
Thatās just the way it is, theyāll say. They being the voice in our head.
Has it always been this way? Have I always lived this way? Is this helping or hurting me? Well itās how Iām living. Itās how Iām thinking. Itās how Iām perceiving. Itās how Iām feeling. Itās how Iām acting.
I wouldnāt think, perceive, feel, and act in ways detrimental to my own existence, surviving, or thriving would I?
Anarchy Journal Constitutional 