Posts Tagged ‘self help’

The Awareness / #Intent to #Change Trap

Posted: July 2, 2014 in Stimulus Space Response
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by @anarchyroll
7/2/2014

One must be aware they have a problem and/or need to change before anything can be accomplished in the direction of personal growth.

However, awareness is only the first step and personal development/self help is way more than a twelve step staircase.

The intent to change is mandatory. One must state their intent to themselves, writing it down in a journal is also mandatory. However, the intent to change can be a double-edged sword to those who think that awareness of a problem/short coming and the intent to change will do the work for them.

This is one of my biggest personal failures in my quest to be my best self. Constantly, repeatedly thinking that my intent to change will do the work for me when I am pressed up against my comfort zone in the moment(s) of choice.

There is no substitute for taking action.

No amount of awareness or positive intent to change will create substantial change. The negative/counter productive habits of thought, perception, and action can only be changed by consistent new actions to create new points of reference. Only by taking the actions and creating a new pool of reference experiences will you create your new reality.

That is how we dig ourselves into holes, that is how we dig ourselves out; action.

Awareness is the way out, that is true. One can’t change without the intent to change, that is also true.

But we only change outside of our comfort zone. It is easy to be aware of our short comings and intend to change while we’re not being tested by ourselves or by the external world around us. Feeling the fear in the stomach when the moment of choice is upon us, is where/when we must exercise courage and take action in the direction of the change and new reality we wish to manifest.

Trying and failing is fine. Trying and coming up a little short is fine. Step by step, day by day. But the key word/concept is trying, trying is action. We must build new reference experiences for our mind to access. Those reference experiences, as the continuously, constantly accumulate, eventually become our new reality for better and for worse. We can do this with an exercise regiment or by eating like a pig, by being the life of the party or a wallflower, cultivating a new hobby/skill set or binge watching digital video programming.

That’s why the saying goes: “easier said than done”.

Awareness is not easy to cultivate, having it is an accomplishment.

Intent to change eludes many for entire lifetimes.

But at the end of the day anyone can want to change, think they have to change, plan to change, and say they want to change. But it’s all about action. We can’t pay our bills with positive intention. I won’t meet a romantic partner because I am aware that I want to. None of us progress (or decline) without action. Don’t get caught in the ego centered quicksand of believing that wanting to change is enough, simply wanting anything is never enough.

…Action…

 

 

 

The 48 Laws of Power is the Alternative Personal Development Book

Posted: June 19, 2014 in Stimulus Space Response
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by @anarchyroll
6/18/2014

Personal development and self-help books by their nature tend to be happy, optimistic, and positive. If people wanted something to make them feel bad, scared, or hopeless they could simply turn on local evening news.

I have personally read/listened to around 200 non fiction books/audio books with more than half being personal development books. Many of them have overlapping principles, paradigms, tactics, advice, themes, and tones. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene is by far the most unique personal development book I have ever read. If personal development books are pop music, then The 48 Laws of Power is Nirvana and Robert Greene is Kurt Cobain.

A summary of the 48 Laws can be found here.

Looking over just the first few laws, you’ll notice a striking difference between the advice offered and the content of books by the likes of Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, and Stephen Covey. I would say that it is the opposite which is a good thing. Variety is the spice of life. Human beings, especially those living in urban environments, need to be aware of the concepts that The 48 Laws of Power presents.

Positive thinking is important. Treating other people the way you want to be treated is worthy of being called the golden rule. Honesty is the best policy.

Over reliance on rah-rah self-help material can lead to naïvety. It did for me. We must know how the world, outside of our circle of influence, operates. We must see the best in people but also be aware of and prepared for dealing with the worst in and worst kind of people. The 48 Laws of Power will prepare its reader for the types of people, situations, and aspects of life we wish didn’t exist and choose not to acknowledge, but are there, and affecting our lives nonetheless.

As someone who actively studies/reads up on politics, economics, and environmental news, I see those in power utilizing concepts in The 48 Laws of Power in order to get what they want at the expense of those beneath them on the social, political, and economics pyramids of society. One need not put anything from The 48 Laws of Power into practice, but all the concepts are important to be aware of.

Awareness is one of the key concepts of personal development and self-help. Often, personal development books for all the right reasons, want us to be hyper aware of the positive, the light, and beauty of life. Those are all good things to be aware of, happy, and grateful for in every present moment of every day of one’s life. At the same time, on the opposite end of the spectrum, we must also be aware of the negative, darkness, and ugliness of the world we live in. Maybe keep the awareness of the latter towards the back of your mind, with awareness of the good things at the forefront.

Naivety is the fuel for manipulation. I recommend every adult human being read The 48 Laws of Power because it will make you less naïve and less prone to being manipulated. In a world of Ponzi schemes and political scandals, con artists and corruption, wolves and takers; one need not become a bitter, distrusting, paranoid, zealot simply by reading a book about methods of manipulation used by those in power to maintain and expand it. But awareness of the principles to balance with the power of positive thinking can help a person become more well-rounded and more capable of navigating the outside world that is full of things outside of their ability to control or influence. That is at the heart of what personal development literature is all about and that is why The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene is a personal development book, just an alt rock version.

Anarchy (pod)Cast System Episode 3: #SymbolicInteractionism

Posted: June 3, 2014 in anarchyroll media
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Personal Change Contracts are Signed with a #Journal

Posted: April 24, 2014 in Stimulus Space Response
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by @anarchyroll
4/24/2014

I recommend journaling to every human being I know. Old or young, male or female, whether they like writing or hate it, journaling is vital to personal growth. All the historical leaders we look up to kept a personal journal. Getting our thoughts out of our head, onto paper, through handwriting (not typing) is important. Why?

There is what is known as a neuro-muscular connection that takes place when you physically write out your thoughts onto paper. In essence, when you hand write your intentions, goals, wants, etc you are making a promise or signing a contract of intent to achieve.

If goal achievement isn’t your thing, then a daily thought journal is for you. Just write out what’s in your head, what’s on your mind, what you’re thinking about at the moment, and/or simply write out what you did that day. What purpose does this serve? It is like taking out the garbage or opening the window in a smoke filled room.

When garbage piles up and smoke fills a room, it makes it harder to see and move around, if not impossible. Writing out one’s thoughts, no matter how boring or mundane will help create space in your mind. So even if you aren’t writing about epiphanies, goals, desires, hopes, and dreams right out of the gate; eventually the space you create by writing out the basic stuff will foster the deep stuff to come up the surface.

Journaling is a way to cultivate the space between stimulus and response.

Remember, you are journaling for yourself, no one else. If you want to share your journal or if you want to have both private and public journals, that’s cool, but not necessary. When journaling you don’t have to worry about the quality of your handwriting, spelling, punctuation, grammar, or any of that. A private thought journal is as casual as it gets, the poetic license you give yourself won’t ever be any greater than it is there. Write what you want, how you want, when you want (though once a day is best).

Reviewing past journals is an important piece of the puzzle that many forget, including myself. I have gone long stretches without reviewing past journal entries. When I do, each time I see that by not reviewing I have been repeating mistakes, lapses in judgement, failures of character, and just flat out not progressing as much as I want to be or feel I should be. We must see where we have been in order to get a better idea of where we are and where we are going.

Journaling is beneficial for the heart, mind, and soul. It can also be beneficial for the body. You can use a journal to track what you eat, drink, and how often you exercise to hold yourself accountable to yourself during a diet and exercise program or better yet, a new healthier lifestyle.

I like to journal at the end of the day. It is like putting a period on and bringing closure to that date on the calendar of life. It lets me know that this day is now over;

  • What have I accomplished?
  • What have I failed to do?
  • What do I want to do tomorrow?
  • What do I need to do this week?
  • What can I do this month to be closer to where I want to be this time next year?
  • What must I improve upon?
  • What progress have I made up to this point?
  • What did I do today?
  • What am I grateful for?

It can be a few sentences, a few paragraphs, a few pages, or a few notebooks worth. Let it flow. Force yourself to start, but then just let your brain tell the pen what to write and when to stop. We can all be better. We can all improve. A journal is how we sign a contract of change with the most important entity in our life, our reflection.

 

 

Herbal #Tea : A Space Refresher

Posted: March 30, 2014 in Stimulus Space Response
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by @anarchyroll
3/30/2014

Tea, the original medicine.

I drink herbal tea at home for stress relief, improved breathing, and to help me get to sleep quicker. I could take prescription drugs for these things, but why use chemicals when something that grew out of the ground works just as good or better.

I also drink a ton of tea when I write at Starbucks, but that’s because it’s free refills with new bags after five purchases with a gift card. For someone looking to be social on a tight budget, two bucks and some change for all the tea you can drink in a social environment frequented by women in their 20s is a deal I’ll take any day. But I digress.

In a way, it still amazes me how much my physiology changes each time I drink my teas. Herbal tea is not just a drink. And it’s not meant to be sipped on. Black and green tea you can sip and drink at any temperature. Just remember when you are drinking herbal tea to drink it:

  • As hot as you can drink it
  • As fast as you can drink it

Don’t burn your lips, mouth, or throat. Be smart about it. But as soon as you can drink it safely, gulp it. Why? This method enables the medicinal aspects of the tea formula to kick in faster. I first heard this from Richard Bandler. The next time I had herbal tea I tried the as hot, as fast style and the difference was striking.

Yoga led me to meditation and meditation led to herbal tea. How? Yoga and meditation are simple. Essentially stretching and sitting still while breathing deeply and concentrating on the breath. Those simple acts can bring about drastic change, they have for me at least. The drastic change both brought about got me thinking what other simple things could help me in drastic ways.

National chain grocery stores have gigantic tea aisles, let alone organic and health food stores. My local supermarket had an organic section. That section had several aisles, one of the aisles was half organic herbal tea varieties. One of the brands was Yogi tea. Since I was doing yoga, the name stood out. What stood out more was the different kinds they have. When I thought about the three reasons I wanted herbal tea to help me with;

  1. Stress/anxiety relief
  2. Breathing help through my nose
  3. Sleep aide

I noticed they not only had formulas for those needs, but had multiple varieties. I was sold and haven’t looked back. My paradigm of drinking tea shifted from a beverage, to akin to taking vitamins. I don’t just notice the difference when I go a prolonged stretch without herbal tea, I literally feel the difference.

I encourage everyone to explore what herbal tea can do for them. It’s no magic pill, but the I do truly believe it can help. And unlike chemically concocted prescription pills, there are no side effects. It will either help or it won’t, but won’t help and also cause anal bleeding, depression, or erectile dysfunction.

Sometimes when I loose sight of the space between stimulus and response, drinking the tea helps me to both remember that it is there and see it clearer than I did before.

Herbal tea contributes to me being my best self. It enables me to breath better, feel better, and sleep better. It takes the lump out of my chest when I’m feeling stressed/anxious, it allows me to get more oxygen to my brain and muscles, and allows me to get more restful sleep. I hope you will try a formula or two or three and I hope that herbal tea will help you as much or more than it has helped me.

 

Namaste

 

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