I first heard the word calibration used repeatedly while actively studying social dynamics. It was often used as a way to find balance between x and y. Criticism, well, we’re all familiar with that aren’t we? From our inner dialogue, from our peers, from our family, from our romantic partners, from strangers in public venting masked personal frustration upon us. Calibration is heard less and used less. What is it?
The simple way to break it down is, calibration is the third part of the trial and error principle. Trial = take action, error = what went wrong, calibration = what you can do next time to prevent the same error from happening again. What’s great about calibration is, it can’t be done without action. So if you get in the game and take a swing, it’s cool, because now you have tangible, external examples on what to better next time. As opposed to, say, sitting on one’s ass judging others harshly to vent personal shame due to lack of courage to take action.
I have been so far behind the eight ball on being a responsible, independent, mature, adult at times that the fact that I was able to shift from criticism to calibration is an accomplishment for me. Because it involved taking action. So after I would finish being mad at myself for failing, or not executing my objective from a to z perfectly, I would be able to take a deep breath (deep breathing is key) and write out or discuss with a friend what went right and what went wrong.
One can’t make a pros and cons list if they take no action. No, sitting alone at home in heavy thought does not count. Being stuck in one’s head is something I empathize with. I have missed many opportunities because I was too stuck in my own head to exercise courage in the moment of choice and take action in the direction of my goals. That lead to criticism, lots of it.
If you find yourself being highly critical of yourself and others, as I have been in the past, it is time to look inside. A good first step I have seen pop up in multiple books and recorded seminars is making eye contact with one’s reflection in the mirror and holding it for no less than five to ten minutes in silence. A thought journal would follow, then a list of goals (immediate, short term) to start taking action. Reading books, listening to audio programs, watching videos of personal development instructors, success authors, life coaches, etc can come next as a guide so one doesn’t get lost, feel alone, or feel it is okay to give up when faced with no immediate gratification.
Life does not come with an instruction manual. We have to be taught to walk & talk, where to shit & piss, not to burn ourselves touching hot things, how to dress, tie shoes, bathe, etc. How does one know what they are not taught? Go easy on yourself, it’s not easy, it = life. Don’t feel shame asking for help, by checking out a book, talking to a friend, keeping a private journal, and doing new things that make your uncomfortable. Because after all; “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neal Donald Walsh