It is hard to see external events as neutral.
Of course we are going to dye the world in the colors of our thoughts and emotions. How could we not? Are we taught that in school? I’m pretty sure the playground and cafeteria experience(s) of school teaches us the opposite.
How can we regulate our emotions?
Because we have to. We can’t be hot heads. We can’t be basket cases. No matter what our ethnicity, gender or astrological sign(s) may tell us. We can’t go flying off the handle at people, places, events and/or situations because our emotions are stirred up.
This goes for positive and negative emotions. Because getting to high when things go well leads directly into getting to low when things go poorly. Emotional regulation is mandatory for us to achieve our goals and be successful. Whether the goals and definition of success is externally material or internally immeasurable; we have to be able to control our emotions.
Is there anything more challenging? I suppose not identifying with our thoughts. It’s safe to say a majority of people living on planet Earth are completely identified with their thoughts and/or emotions.
We are easily distracted because we are so deeply identified with our thoughts and emotions. It’s why in America social issues are always at the forefront of political discourse. Because then the working class or 99% will fight amongst themselves over emotional hot button issues rather than on issues of economic equality and the historical lack thereof.
Awareness is the way out.
Maintaining separation from one’s thoughts and emotions can be the work of a lifetime. What do you think monks in monasteries are doing with their time?
To become aware that we are not our thoughts or emotions, we are the consciousness behind them, is one thing, to stay in that state is a whole other ball of wax. Today during my meditation practice I was barely able to stay focused on my breathing for a couple of five counts over the course of twenty minutes.
But we have to try. Especially in the area of the comment section. We have to try. Emotional regulation is as important to our health as breathing exercises, eating well, and hydrating. Easier said than done, just like everything else in this world.
A meditation practice in combination with studying philosophy and spirituality has been a big help for me over the years. Along with a regular journaling habit.
Using the Calm app for meditation, reading The Daily Stoic for philosophy, and watching Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts videos on YouTube makes up my most frequently used daily routine along with a one page thought vomit journal entry.
For many years now I have utilized supplements to help with my mood. Ashwaghanda, Theanine, and St. John’s Wort has been my go to stack for a long time. I recently took out St. John’s Wort to save a little money since I currently can’t afford all the supplements I would prefer to take. I know other people have had good results with GABA, Kava, Rhodiola, and flavored Magnesium Powder.
Emotional control is the work of a lifetime. If it were easy, the world would be unrecognizable. Why create problems for anyone else if one feels good or neutral all the time? So we try to take things one choice at a time. But we have to try. Well, I do at least. Maybe the people reading this by nature or nurture have had emotional regulation in the bag since childhood.
If that’s the case, I’ll have what you’re having.
Anarchy Journal Constitutional 