Posts Tagged ‘change’

Every changes

Constantly

Change is the only constant

Moment to moment

Breath to breath

Everything can change

Everything does change eventually

Yet we cling to certainty

It’s human nature to hold onto certainty and comfort and the known, white knuckle tight.

Life is full of dichotomies like that. I wonder, are most people unaware or do they choose to not think about them?

I suppose ignorance is bliss. But the older I get the more I realize how little I know and I wouldn’t describe my life as blissful.

Meditation and philosophy have been big helps in understanding that the nature of life is change, constant change, never ending change.

We as humans are a great example of this. Do we look the same year to year? Decade to decade? Every cell in our body regenerates every 7-10 years. We literally are not the same people we were a decade ago.

Change is fascinating and scary and confusing and makes life fun and is unavoidable. They say variety is the spice of life.

Meditation helps me be aware of change. Philosophy helps me see how humans have coped with change for thousands of years. The combination of the two is like a greens smoothie for my spirit and peace of mind.

I suppose if we’re always thinking about change than we’re not focused on our goals, tasks, priorities and plans. That’s no way to live. But being hyper focused on our goals with an unwillingness to adapt to change is just as bad.

There’s that yin yang again. There’s the never ending quest for balance again.

Living in the present moment sounds so simple, too simple perhaps. If it was easy for people to be present, rather than identified with their thoughts, emotions, and/or memories, the world we live in would be unrecognizable.

Our past makes us who we are. What led us to this very moment in time? Our past. For better and for worse. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Our past choices became habits became patterns became the way we lived our lives. Many people live life unaware of this fact and even more are unaware that we can choose.

Meditation has been a life saver for me. Those close to me have heard me say that many times by now. Meditation helped me break the hold of identifying with my thoughts, my emotions, and as Eckhart Tolle says; my life situation.

We are not our thoughts, we are not our emotions, we are not our life situation.

What a wonderful concept. A moment of internal liberation. If only it was a one time, permanent fixing, magic pill, cure all. Meditation is not a magic cure all. Nothing is. The discovery that I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions, I am not my past trauma was the beginning of awareness.

Awareness is the way out. Becoming aware was the first step, of the first day, of the rest of my life.

Step by step, day by day. One thing at a time. One choice at a time. That is how we live in the present moment. That is how we live for our future self that we would like to become. That is how we separate ourselves from our past, our trauma, our inapplicable teachings, our perceptions that no longer serve us, our old ways of doing things.

It’s just like most things in life; simple NOT easy.

Sure we can try, but what happens if we fail? What happens if we don’t try? What happens if we succeed? What happens if we sabotage ourself? What happens if we give up? We happens if we achieve mastery? What happens if we try, try, try again and nothing external changes?

First, gratitude. Always, gratitude. Gratitude is gravity. Gratitude is glue. Gratitude is what you lay the foundation on top of.

Then…

Step by step, day by day. One thing at a time. One choice at a time. We choose, to do what we can, with what we have, to the extent we are capable of doing.

Change is hard, change is slow, change can be painful. If the opposite were true, the world we live in would be unrecognizable.

So we have to forgive ourself. We have to accept ourself. We have to love ourself. We have to support ourself. We have to cheer on ourself. We have to champion ourself. Life can be hard enough. Change is made harder if we are hard on ourself.

Simple NOT easy.

It can seem overwhelming. It can seem insurmountable. It can seem impossible. That’s why we do things of this nature;

Step by step, day by day. One thing at a time. One choice at a time. One breath at a time.We choose, to do what we can, with what we have, to the extent we are capable of doing.

That is how we live in the present moment. That is how we live for our future self that we would like to become. That is how we separate ourselves from our past, our trauma, our inapplicable teachings, our perceptions that no longer serve us, our old ways of doing things.

Simple NOT easy.

Worth a try.

Change is the only constant.

Anything that lasts forever, or even a long time, loses it’s appeal, becomes boring, gets taken advantage of, etc.

All experiences that we deem good or positive are that way because they don’t last. Same with the sting of the perceived negative.

There’s that yin-yang again.

The hot burning flame versus the slow burning coal.

Happiness versus contentment.

Be aware of it, experience it, then let it go. For better and for worse.

Trying to make things permanent creates problems.

Suffering arises because of attachment to desires as a wise man once said.

I had one of the most productive stretches of time in recent years. Woke up sick the next day. There’s that yin-yang again.

Then had a fun weekend with a friend is like a brother. But he had to go home. We weren’t sad at the end. We were grateful for the time well spent together and were both excited for what comes next for us individuality, respectively.

Letting go. Easier said than done. Like everything else, ever. But a little easier with practice. Just like everything else, ever…

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

It would be nice to say that I had an awakening or an epiphany that changed the way I lived forever all at once.

The older I get, the more I feel like that isn’t how change works.

I’ve had, what I thought were life changing epiphanies, repeatedly. Life changing visions, repeatedly. Life changing moments, repeatedly. I thought after X or Y happened to me that I would live differently from that point onward.

Habits always win out however. Choices, actions done repeatedly make our lives.

The concept of Stimulus-Space-Response was a concept I first learned from a rented audio book by Stephen Covey. He was telling the story of Holocaust survivor Dr. Victor Frankl.

Learning about that concept I can still remember thinking, in the library I was listening to the audiobook in; that this was going to change my life from that point on.

I thought my depression, laziness, anxieties would all be instantly and forever changed now that I knew that there was a space between stimulus and response.

I get to choose how I respond?! I can cultivate and grow that space?!! Surely this will change my life immediately. I will only make good choices now. I will only do right actions.

The older I get, the more I feel like that isn’t how change works.

But learning about Stimulus-Space-Response is one of the closest things I’ve ever experienced to an epiphany that stuck. I suppose a more apt metaphor would be that of a seed being planted. A seed of lasting change was planted that day.

Stephen Covey also used farming as an analogy for change and for life. I may have planted the seed(s) for growth, but I failed to tend to the soil properly with patience and persistence. Then the harvest was nothing.

It is a great concept that more people should know about. The knowledge that we can choose what happens to us no matter what happens. Because we have the ability to think, perceive, and assign meaning in our brain. Unlike most animals.

I think most people are unaware of this. I know I was. I think most people think that to live, is to live reactively. Just reacting to whatever happens to us and around us whether good, bad, or indifferent.

But we can choose to stop, breath, think, and choose.

It’s no magic pill, no such thing of course. But it can help. It helps me.

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by @anarchyroll
7/2/2014

One must be aware they have a problem and/or need to change before anything can be accomplished in the direction of personal growth.

However, awareness is only the first step and personal development/self help is way more than a twelve step staircase.

The intent to change is mandatory. One must state their intent to themselves, writing it down in a journal is also mandatory. However, the intent to change can be a double-edged sword to those who think that awareness of a problem/short coming and the intent to change will do the work for them.

This is one of my biggest personal failures in my quest to be my best self. Constantly, repeatedly thinking that my intent to change will do the work for me when I am pressed up against my comfort zone in the moment(s) of choice.

There is no substitute for taking action.

No amount of awareness or positive intent to change will create substantial change. The negative/counter productive habits of thought, perception, and action can only be changed by consistent new actions to create new points of reference. Only by taking the actions and creating a new pool of reference experiences will you create your new reality.

That is how we dig ourselves into holes, that is how we dig ourselves out; action.

Awareness is the way out, that is true. One can’t change without the intent to change, that is also true.

But we only change outside of our comfort zone. It is easy to be aware of our short comings and intend to change while we’re not being tested by ourselves or by the external world around us. Feeling the fear in the stomach when the moment of choice is upon us, is where/when we must exercise courage and take action in the direction of the change and new reality we wish to manifest.

Trying and failing is fine. Trying and coming up a little short is fine. Step by step, day by day. But the key word/concept is trying, trying is action. We must build new reference experiences for our mind to access. Those reference experiences, as the continuously, constantly accumulate, eventually become our new reality for better and for worse. We can do this with an exercise regiment or by eating like a pig, by being the life of the party or a wallflower, cultivating a new hobby/skill set or binge watching digital video programming.

That’s why the saying goes: “easier said than done”.

Awareness is not easy to cultivate, having it is an accomplishment.

Intent to change eludes many for entire lifetimes.

But at the end of the day anyone can want to change, think they have to change, plan to change, and say they want to change. But it’s all about action. We can’t pay our bills with positive intention. I won’t meet a romantic partner because I am aware that I want to. None of us progress (or decline) without action. Don’t get caught in the ego centered quicksand of believing that wanting to change is enough, simply wanting anything is never enough.

Action