Posts Tagged ‘life’

Nature trail walks/hikes have been a life saver for me.

During the Covid lockdowns in America, I was blessed to live five minutes by car from a nature trail. I went there early and often during those dark days.

Sometimes I go on walks with my earbuds in, sometimes not. Sometimes I stay for hours, sometimes just an abbreviated loop that amounts to the traditional coffee break. But every time I go, I feel at least a little better than I did before being in nature.

It’s called forest bathing. What a blessing.

I can’t recommend it enough. I live in the midwestern area of the United States. It is currently too cold and too snowy to really even go outside for anything beyond survival essentials.

During these times I find myself watching nature documentaries. Or watching HD nature scenery with ambient music in the background on YouTube. Certainly not the same as the real thing, but there’s a calling to seeing nature that soothes my soul.

When I get off the main trail and am genuinely surrounded by trees, bushes, flowers, plants, grass, weeds, dirt, birds and bugs…I feel…at home…I feel…at peace.

Because humans are apart of nature. Just because we as a species want to poor a concrete layer over the entire planet, doesn’t mean that we didn’t come from nature. The forests are home. Nature is home.

The lessons to be learned from observing and being in nature, I feel, directly help combat the mental and emotional illnesses that are becoming rampant in the modern, developed, first world countries of the world.

Every day I have a reminder of my phone set to go off that says ā€œI am Aware of Cognitive Distortionsā€. It only goes off once per day. I could probably use another two or three…dozen reminders over the course of the day, as could most people.

Cognitive distortions or perceiving reality inaccurately, is as natural and normal and easy and automatic as breathing. Is it possible for people to not interpret and assign meaning to the things that happen to them? Yes. Is that the normal, commonplace way most humans live? No

Framing what happens to us in a positive way is obviously preferable. But if the majority of people had a positive way at looking at the world, the world we live in would be unrecognizable. We’d be closer to the Garden of Eden than not.

Negativity is natural. It’s part of how we have evolved. It’s how we have survived from hunter gatherers to farmers to the industrial revolution to the information age. Unfortunately the information age has put cognitive distortions on steroids. Social media echo chambers, travel vlog FOMO, influencer sensationalization, hustle culture, face filters and photoshop.

All designed to exploit our tendency towards cognitive distortions; to think less of ourselves, more of the content creators, so that we will spend our time, attention, and emotional reactions on whatever they’re selling.

Being aware of cognitive distortions brings a bit of wisdom to the information age that drowns us collectively and individually. Awareness is the way out after all. No magic pill. Awareness is less than action. But often right action won’t come unless awareness is there.

Positive, productive, beneficial cognitive distortions are preferred to the negative. It is almost always better to frame what is happening to us in a way that is productive as long as it doesn’t bring harm to anyone else.

Today however, as an exercise in having our feet on the ground while our heads’ are in the clouds, lets try to observe the external reality we live in with objectivity first. This is as it is. Acknowledge the is-ness of the moment. Be aware of what is happening without assigning labels. Then take action from there.

This is Eckhart Tolle 101. Practical. Applicable. Real world helpful.

Separated from the spiritual enlightenment and fulfillment practices that Tolle is synonymous with.

Habits are not dependent on enthusiasm.

Forming and cementing habits is about repetition.

Just do it, over and over and over and over and over again.

Does it have to be great every time? NO

Does it have to be good every time? no

Do you still need to do it even when you don’t want to? Yes

That is where the mental disconnect is for myself and the majority of people when it comes to establishing and sticking to new habits. When starting something new, it’s rarely if ever going to be good at first.

The not wanting to do something different is baked into the human condition. If starting and sticking to new, hard things was easy we would be living in a utopia.

What I have found in my experience is the lack of motivation gets its fuel from the thought of not wanting to be bad, look bad, come across as bad, etc.

Bad meaning inferior, mediocre, amateur, inadequate.

People don’t like looking foolish. That’s human nature. One can notice this in the ratio of creators to critics.

One of the things that has helped me is taking enthusiasm and expectation of quality out of the equation. I have so many journal entries that have the line ā€œI’m just going through the motionsā€ written, then list what I did that day, what I ate that day, my current mood, etc. With the end goal being habitual daily journal writing.

Not quality journal writing. Habitual journal writing.

Not quality published essays/articles/blogs (at first). Habitually published essays/articles/blogs.

It’s so natural and so common and so normal to resist doing something because we’ll be bad at it at first. I stopped playing video games because my friends all got way better than me and I didn’t want to keep losing to them and didn’t want to invest the time into getting better.

On the other end of the importance spectrum; after finally following my life’s dream of becoming a professional wrestler, I resisted practicing and taking low level indy bookings because I didn’t want to look foolish or embarrass myself.

Every bar and nightclub in the history of the world has been filled with men and women who don’t talk to each other because they’re scared of sounding foolish on approach and/or looking foolish if rejected.

So consider taking positive expectations, excitement, and enthusiasm out of the equation and just go through the motions. Literally saying to yourself internally or out load that’s what you’re doing in the process. Or writing it down. Or texting it to yourself. As long as the thing you want to do gets done, today.

Then the next day. Then the next day. Then next week. Then the week after that. Then next month. Then the month after that. Until it’s just something you do. Until the thing you want to do is something that you start to do on autopilot. Until you know you are going to do it that day as your default setting when you wake up (and have your morning coffee).

It’s when we reach the point of doing it by default, that we can shift our focus to proficiency, quality, excellence, and hopefully one day…mastery.

There’s value in just going through the motions.

Many of my journal entries over the past year or two have ended with me writing the words; one thing at a time.

Getting started can be so, so hard. The internal resistance to putting forth external effort and action if measurable, would go off the charts and break the instruments.

When one is able to at least temporarily squeeze through or push past perfectionism and create something, regardless of quality, the inner pressure release and sense of relief would be the equivalent of sky diving, while holding and anvil.

One thing at a time

One action at a time

One choice at a time

What is quality? What is good and bad? The gatekeepers have been out to lunch for decades at this point. Just do it.

Spotlight effect often holds people back. I know it held me back. With a little (or a lot) of Imposter Syndrome mixed in.

One thing I realized, after a very, very long time of thinking about it, journaling about it, meditating about it, drinking about it…was that if I really did think what I wanted to create was so bad then I wouldn’t be negatively judging other’s so frequently and/or so harshly.

But that’s not what we’re doing when we’re negatively judging other acts of creation. We’re projecting self hatred. I know I was. It got to the point where I was getting into verbal conflicts with people I hardly knew at bars over…nothing. I think back to what started those verbal tiffs and after I cringe, I slap myself in the forehead and stay there because they never actually said or did anything. I was just projecting my self hatred onto others because I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do which was creating.

A creator that doesn’t create, otherwise known as a writer or artist sans the word professional prefixed.

Just publishing blogs, articles, essays, and thoughts has changed my mental and emotional state immeasurably. Is my content good? Is it important? Is it impactful? Well all metrics of external success would say no, then to pat me on my head and say at least you tried.

But it’s good for me. It’s working for me. It’s helping me. And you can’t help others unless you help yourself first. You can’t feed others from an empty bowl. You can’t put on someone else’s oxygen mask if you are suffocating to death yourself.

One thing at a time

One action at a time

One choice at a time

People get these ideas in their heads.

People meaning me, meaning us, meaning everyone, ever.

We get these ideas in our head that we need or should or could or will.

Good ideas, bad ideas, neutral ideas, beneficial ideas, detrimental ideas.

We know we can be our own worst enemy. Yet it’s solemnly publicly acknowledged outside of college philosophy, psychology, sociology, and anthropology classes.

Self sabotage. I don’t have to explain what that is. We all know it through repeated experience. Both in important and irrelevant things that we’ve done to ourselves over the course of our lives regardless of age.

I could ask an 18 year old and an 80 year old to tell me a about a time they self sabotaged something that could have been a really good thing in their life, and they’re likely to reply; ā€œyou just want one example?ā€

People get these ideas in their heads.

Out of nowhere. Like a meteor. It strikes and buries itself in the land.

Accepted as fact that it’s always been there.

That’s just the way it is, they’ll say. They being the voice in our head.

Has it always been this way? Have I always lived this way? Is this helping or hurting me? Well it’s how I’m living. It’s how I’m thinking. It’s how I’m perceiving. It’s how I’m feeling. It’s how I’m acting.

I wouldn’t think, perceive, feel, and act in ways detrimental to my own existence, surviving, or thriving would I?

People get these ideas in their heads.