Posts Tagged ‘life’

You have the want to change.

You have to want help.

You have to decide your’e ready.

You in this case, means me, means us.

I like the spirituality concept that we are all one, or come from one energy source.

Energy, atoms, etc.

Ten years of work to become an over night sensation.

There is a lot of internal work to do before I was ready for external.

So much baggage to let go of. So much to strip away.

Expectation, validation, opinion, anxiety, depression, laziness.

There is a lot of internal work to do.

Philosophy, mediation, exercise, journaling, yoga, psychology, communication…

Then I’m walking from one room to the next and I want to do the thing.

No thought, no worry, no excuse, no waiting, I just wanted to do the thing.

Then I did it and wanted to do it again the next day and the next day.

Years and years of nothing, no thing. No action. No doing.

There was a lot of internal work that was done.

There is a lot of internal work to do.

But I am grateful for the process.

I am grateful for the journey.

Some say that’s what life is…

Seeing this image helped something click in my brain.

Call it writer’s block, perfectionism, procrastination, or just being human.

I didn’t want to write, or do much that required effort. Why?

Well what if I fail. What if I don’t get anything out of it.

External. Ego.

The work is the win. It’s about doing what I love doing. Time well spent.

Who cares if it isn’t perfect, great, good?

It’s time well spent, because I like doing it. It’s part of the process.

Everything starts out bad. Every person who was great started out bad.

No exceptions, ever.

We all have to learn.

We have to learn how to live and survive, let alone thrive or specialize.

So it’ll be bad at first and down the road, if I stick with it, hopefully it will be better.

It still might only be me who ever reads these. But that’s fine too.

There’s genuine value in going through the motions.

The value is building beneficial habits.

I was going to start blogging again in May. I was inspired to write about one of the graphics that come up at the end of a Daily Calm mediation on the Calm app. I pinned the post to my Facebook and LinkedIn pages. I opened up an account on Medium. I wanted to write online again.

I journal daily or every other day. More consistent day to day, or bi daily journaling is one of the 2023 New Year’s Resolutions I actually stuck to. I’ve been writing but I stopped thinking about blogging again. I blogged regularly for years. That stopped when I started on a new path in life. The month before I moved was the last time I blogged.

I’ve thought about starting again a few times. This was going to be the year. The meditation blog/blurb was in May. It’s December. I was going to start again. Halfway through the year I was going to start again. Now the year is over.

So I’m starting again now. Not waiting for the new year. I’ll still put it on a resolution list. I’ve been making those simple and doable in recent years and sticking to a handful each year. So I’ll put blogging on the list…again.

I love writing. I love to write. I love to learn new things and write about them. I have wanted to write about the things I’ve learned on subjects like fitness, philosophy, spirituality, supplements, nightlife, psychology, and human nature for years now. Post an image or a quote or a link to the thing that inspired me to write, and blog about it in order to share it with the world. Not for clout or fame or attention. But for the good stuff. The deep stuff. The stuff that connects us.

And that’s why I’m writing and posting this. This is essentially a typed out journal piece to myself about starting again. A piece of content that I can look back on hopefully a couple dozen, a couple hundred or a couple of thousand blog posts down the line, and cringe with laughter.

But maybe one person reads this an feels like it is okay for them to start again too. Because it is okay to start again. For any reason. At anytime. It is okay to start again. No one is watching, no one cares, we’re all focused and busy living our own lives, focused on what we’re doing individually, so you might as well do what you want to do anyway.

I want to write. I want to share my writing. I want to write about the things I learn in life that help make me a better person. The things that help keep me sane. The things that help me get through hard times. I want to write about the things that help me live. For the good reasons. To help others, while helping myself.

Sharing means caring after all. What’s better to share than help? Sharing what helps me get through this thing called life. Sharing ideas. Sharing art. Sharing my…gift? Sharing what I love. Sharing, that it’s okay to start again.

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By @anarchyroll
11/14/15

What is a life worth?

Which lives are more valuable than others?

What makes a life or a group of lives more valuable than others?

There has been so much justified sadness and anger at the terrorist attacks on in Paris. But ISIS has been killing people by the hundreds in the Middle East for quite a long time now. The war in Syria has claimed hundreds of thousands of lives and displaced millions, literally millions of people.

The news media has reported these facts. The refugee crisis in the Europe grabbed plenty of headlines. President Obama has spoken about Syria publicly. Russia’s direct and indirect involvement there has been international news more than once. But public outcry, sadness, and prayers have been at a minimal if not absent from the discourse completely.

Over 100 dead civillians is a big number for a terrorist attack. It is a tragedy. It is sad. It is horrible in every sense of the word. But why are those lives worth more attention and mourning than the hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths that ISIS has contributed to in the Middle East?

There’s no right or wrong answer. These questions are not being asked from a pedestal. But they are questions worth asking and worth thinking about in between news updates from the blood stained streets of Paris.

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by @anarchyroll
7/20/2014

Learning how to talk to women in bars and nightclubs for the sole purpose of having casual/promiscuous sex is not what one would call the traditional road to enlightenment and inner peace. The Game by Neil Strauss is not a personal development/self-help book. It is an entertaining non fiction story intertwined with a how to manual of how to become a more socially suave man. Many women think of this book and other “seduction” manuals and are offended at the concept and existence of such material. The seduction community has some message board posts that can be considered the Rosetta Stone of internet trolling. However, without The Game I never would have become a well read person, and never would have been able to look beyond the stigma of consuming personal development/self-help materials.

I was never taught how to talk to women, or how to talk to girls for that matter. I was socially conditioned during my youth of watching television to look at women as either objects or villains. Pamela Anderson and pro wrestling provided me an education of women that I was too afraid to learn from first hand experience. Embarrassment and looking dumb in public settings while interacting with women is often too much for the male ego to bear.

There are plenty of men out there who when it comes every level of interacting with women are natural(s). They are the exception, not the rule.  The inability and/or unwillingness most men have push through the pain of getting to the other side of their comfort zone, is much more of a psychological/medical condition that  most people would give it credit for. The genuine emotional and mental pain most men experience at just the thought of failing at socializing with the opposite sex is hard to put into words. To imply one needs to simply man up, is akin to telling clinically diagnosed psychotics to just stop being crazy.

My inability and ignorance with the opposite sex led to an uncountable number of panic attacks, emotional breakdowns/meltdowns, and repeated diversions of time, concentration, and effort in the direction of my life’s purpose.

In the tradition of the double-edged sword, being introduced to The Game eventually led to me to reading other self-help books as well as the personal development and human potential movements. I discovered both after consuming so much social dynamics and pick up artist material, that I realized the hole I was trying to fill inside of myself was deeper and more profound than a hook up or series of hook ups could fill.

But I never would have gotten to personal development without The Game. The social stigma that pick up artists face is the same that self-help books have. That something is unnatural or wrong about both the information and the people who consume/apply the material(s). I thought self-help was stupid and to consume that knowledge meant that I was weak, defective, and a failure of a human being. I thought having to read a book about how to meet women meant that I was a failure as a man.

The real failure is in knowing one is not living their life the way they want to and/or feel they should and continuing to live that way rather than seeking help in the knowledge of books or mentors. Although we would all prefer to be perfect inside and out, part of the human condition is the inadequacies we have as people internally and/or externally. I am happy that my decision to face rather than deny my failures as a social being as a gateway to address the rest of my deficiencies at both the deep and shallow levels.

And it’s a fun book to read.