Posts Tagged ‘writing’


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The Nature of Change

“No great thing is created suddenly.” — Epictetus

This morning, I showed up.

I followed through on something that mattered to me — clear-headed, aligned, focused. For a moment, I felt like I was becoming the version of myself I’ve been working toward.

An hour later, I hit a different decision point. And I didn’t take the action I meant to. Old habits stepped in. I let the moment pass.

But here’s what surprised me: I didn’t unravel. I didn’t shame myself or throw the rest of the day away.

I shifted gears. I stayed present. And the rest of the day has been solid, productive, meaningful, even light.

That’s what reminded me: change doesn’t always arrive in clean lines. Sometimes it shows up in layers. And that’s still real progress.

Grace in the Middle

“You cannot rip the skin off the snake. The snake must moult the skin. That’s the process of change.” — Alan Watts

We’re conditioned to believe that transformation is something we push through. But often, it’s something we wait with.

We want to force the old version of ourselves to fall away. But it doesn’t work like that. It’s not about control. It’s about timing.

Alan Watts puts it simply: you can’t rush the shedding process. You don’t rip the skin off the snake. The change happens, but only when it’s ready.

What I’m learning is that real growth feels slower than we expect. Not weaker — just more alive.

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You Are Not a Machine

“Growth is an erratic movement, not a steady climb.” — Nathalie Goldberg

We tell ourselves that if we were changing, we’d be consistent.

But humans don’t move like machines. We’re cyclical, emotional, and imperfect. Progress is jagged. And that’s okay.

This morning reminded me that one slip doesn’t cancel the steps that came before it. It’s not all-or-nothing. Some days you show up in one area and miss in another — and both are part of the picture.

When we drop the pressure to be perfect, we make room for something more sustainable: self-trust.

Rewiring the Self

“Neurons that fire together, wire together.” — Donald Hebb

Every time we try again — even if it doesn’t stick — we’re teaching our brain something new.

Habits don’t form instantly. They form through repetition, through small shifts in how we respond. Each choice sends a signal.

When you pause instead of spiral, when you reset instead of shut down, that matters. You’re building a pattern of showing up with patience.

It takes time. But it takes.

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Trust the Tending

This morning didn’t go perfectly. But I met myself with patience, and I kept going.

That’s what I’m learning to trust: the act of tending to yourself, even when your progress doesn’t follow a straight line. Even when it feels like you’re circling the same challenge again. Even when the change is quiet and invisible to everyone but you.

We often underestimate these moments. The decision to stay present instead of shutting down. The small, unglamorous choice to show up again. The willingness to ask: “What’s still possible today?” instead of assuming the day is lost.

These are the real milestones. This is the texture of transformation — not dramatic, not always visible, but deeply human.

Growth doesn’t have to be loud to be meaningful. Sometimes it’s just quietly showing up for yourself again.


An open mind can seem like a vague term. Yet closed-minded is very succinct and easy to understand. It can be confusing to learn that openness to the world is the key to finding what we seek in life. But it is straightforward that being closed-minded towards the world is to live a limited, suffocated life.


“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” — Buddha


I find myself in a battle against being closed-minded regularly. Some practices that help me keep my mind more open than closed are:

  • Reading philosophy
  • Meditating
  • Studying humanism
  • Journaling
  • Practicing yoga

I have cultivated enough awareness to at least know the concepts of open vs closed-mindedness which I am grateful for. I still have much work to do to keep myself open-minded in moments of test and choice, but then again, who doesn’t?


“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” — Albert Einstein


Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

Close-Minded — having or showing rigid opinions or a narrow outlook.

Open-Minded — willing to consider new ideas; unprejudiced.


Photo by Levi Bare on Unsplash

Having an open mind generally involves curiosity, willingness to learn, and embracing new experiences. For me, I find having an open mind correlates with positivity, productivity, or at the very least neutrality regarding thought, perception, emotion, and action. Day to day if/when I find myself slipping into negative or detrimental thoughts, perceptions, emotions, or actions; there is a good chance I’ve concurrently slipped into closed-mindedness.

I feel like being closed-minded is the default setting in our human nature. Hard-wired into us as a survival mechanism from caveman times. It also seems like we are becoming more closed-minded in the algorithm-dominated modern world of digital echo chambers and rage-bait. An open mind is a rich soil for evolution and growth. A closed mind is a rich soil for egocentric withering.


“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson


Thankfully, fostering an open mind is simple, easy, and completely within our ability to control. This is nice because living can be complex, difficult, and at the mercy of external situations enough as it is.

  • Mindful breathing exercises
  • Guided meditation
  • Journaling
  • Getting out into nature

The above list are some of my go-to’s that have been very helpful and enriching for me. But in the name of micro-tasking, start by just trying any small, simple new thing or by doing something you already do just a little bit differently.

Starting with our existing routines and habits, even the most mundane ones, is a practical way to open our minds. Try holding items with a different hand, eating breakfast for dinner, taking a different route to work, or watching a foreign film with subtitles. These small modifications can be surprisingly effective first steps toward a more open-minded perspective.


“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” — Wayne Dyer


We need to be more open-minded. The world needs more open-minded people. Being open-minded is the foundational paradigm for learning, connecting with people, discovering new opportunities, and living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

It’s simple but not easy because we are going against the grain of human nature. It’s natural to be closed-minded when we already have what we need to survive. But we don’t want to just survive, we want to thrive. Regardless of our definition of what thriving is to us individually, the first step on our path there, begins with having an open mind.


When should I be patient and when should I take action?

This can be a tough question for anyone at any level in life. I know it has been for me, at every stage of my life up to this point. I remember thinking that epiphanies brought about by consuming and then applying knowledge would be a permanent solution to this puzzle.

I suppose I’m old enough to possess the wisdom through experience to know that there is no such epiphany. I’ve had epiphanies. Did they create permanent change? No. Nothing does. Habitualized action creates permanent change. Anything else is snake oil.

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.” – Leo Tolstoy

Patience and action are practical examples and applications of yin and yang. Buddhist philosophy has been a big help for me in taking the pressure off of the choice between patience and proactivity.

Because it is natural to worry about being too patient just as it is normal to worry about taking too much action. Bringing mindfulness into my life helped to relieve some of the pressure that modern life puts on us to always be doing something exciting and interesting while simultaneously always relaxing in an exotic location vacation. And of course, making sure to document anything and everything one does in HD 4K photo and video, posted and reposted in portrait and landscape mode.

After suffering textbook burnout multiple times in my life, I overcalibrated towards patience. Buddhism, Taoism, and other spiritual philosophies that I studied lent themselves to patience and non-doing, which I felt I desperately needed at the time. Stoicism helped steer me back towards proactivity.

“Action without vision is blind; vision without action is just a dream.” – Nelson Mandela

I have found that Stoicism pairs well with Buddhism and Taoism. I would counsel people to consume all three in equal proportion. Stoicism helped teach me to take action and to do so boldly and consistently AND THEN to let go from there.

Detach from the outcome. Let go of how the action is received and perceived. 

That last part is a major missing piece from the good advice I received my entire life and hear/see being given to people these days by well-meaning folks. My experience has taught me that the majority of people are heavily tied up in the outcome of their actions. Not just entangled, but almost completely identified with their actions. 

That is also totally normal and natural. Aren’t we taught to believe that we are the result of our actions? Even if we aren’t taught that, isn’t there a consensus that a person’s identity is what they do? This is where spiritual philosophies and spiritual teachings fill in the hole I and many people feel inside of us when we’ve lived a life identified externally.

The teachings of Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Eckhart Tolle, and others provide empathy and compassion for myself and others in place of the default of judgment. The judgment of the patience, the judgment of the action, and the judgment of the results. Replacing all that judgment requires teaching and training because we live in a society that encourages and rewards judgment. 

Traditionally we have been our own worst critic. The modern era of the comment section has put negative judgment on steroids and placed it into a weapon of mass destruction with unlimited ammo.

“Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” Mohsin Hamid

The scales of balancing patience and action are properly weighted with studying philosophy and spirituality.

Studying and applying the knowledge of these disciplines also helps to put an immeasurable, immaterial, internal balance on the scale in our very measurable, material, externally focused world. 

Before them, I was lost. I may not yet be found but I know I am at least on a path rather than walking alone and confused in the dark. 



The good news is; that nothing lasts. The bad news is; that nothing lasts. 

Freeing if one perceives things going neutral or worse in their life situation.

Frightening for those doing well or better and want to go on winning living forever.

Stoic philosophy came into my life at the right time. After my mother passed away, along with therapy and psychedelics, stoicism helped me process my grief by providing a bird’s eye view or long-term perspective on life itself. Guided meditations, which had already been a part of my life before her passing, became an even more significant part of my mental-emotional survival. 

Death, the knowledge of death, and acceptance of death play a significant role in why I still study stoicism daily. We are all going to die – it’s the only guarantee in life and something all living things have in common.

No two people experience life the same way. But we are all going to die someday. 

Everything that rises must fall; everything that comes up will pass away. And so the beat goes on.

Change is the only constant.

Permanence is an illusion.

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles” – Charlie Chaplin

I find that to be very freeing. 

But like the concept, the thought itself is fleeting. I haven’t remembered that thought when anxiety, melancholy, or laziness hijacked my mind in the past. Albeit, only temporarily.

In the blink of an eye from one moment to another – one choice to another – one day to another – one week to another – one year to another – everything goes from being identical to being completely different.

Yet there is something about human nature that makes us unconsciously cling to the concept of permanence. Regularity and reliability are lionized, why? Because they are the exception. 

Order is not the rule, chaos is. Nature is chaos. Life is chaotic. Yet we as humans think if we surround ourselves with concrete and cement we can shirk the truth and natural order of existence. 

Eventually, everyone finds out that everything is temporary. 

The good news is; that nothing lasts. The bad news is; that nothing lasts. 

A simple, irrefutable fact that like many things, is easy to forget. Stoic philosophy and guided meditation practices help me to remember. I recommend them both wholeheartedly. Because we can all benefit from remembering the transient nature of life more frequently than the current western world status quo. 



“There is beauty and humility in imperfection.” – Guillermo del Toro

We are our own worst critic. We identify with our thoughts by default. We think we are our minds by default. So the idealized image of ourselves that we have in our heads is the standard we hold ourselves to. Regardless of how unrealistic that image is.

Then life layers wouldas, couldas, and shouldas on top of that idealized self-image. Social media inundates us with non-stop upward social comparisons. The rest of the media seems determined to scare and isolate us. Now all of a sudden negative self-talk that was once a pesky house fly, has evolved into a full-on rodent infestation. 

Our lives are constantly a work in progress. Social media not only encourages but actively boosts and rewards people and brands who present their image as a finished polished product. In the moment, how could we not compare ourselves and feel less than?

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” – Theodore Roosevelt

Self-criticism, like everything else in life, doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It often spirals, like all bad habits seem to do.  Before we know it, we haven’t just had our joy taken from us, but our confidence, esteem, and belief in ourselves. 

Curating our social media feeds is a more tangible option than deleting them altogether. Much like how eating a little better and doing a little exercise is a more realistic way of getting in shape. Small steps, one at a time, will add up more consistently than radical change at once for the majority of us.

The current era of social media has made philosophy, mindfulness, psychology, health, and wellness information more accessible, digestible, and entertaining than ever before. Searching topics and following accounts on informative and educational content has been a big help for me since the COVID lockdowns. 

Not a day goes by that I don’t watch at least a couple of Reels or YouTube shorts with clips from some of my favorite authors or thought leaders on self-improvement material. Whereas I once had to choose to watch a twenty-minute video or listen to a whole podcast, I can now get snack-sized, 30-second, personal development information on pretty much any platform. 

This can serve as a positive/productive double-edged sword. In that, it can make people feel less bad/wasteful about using social media in the first place, then provide beneficial information that is as easy to consume as it is to understand. So we’re beating ourselves up less for doom scrolling, and beating ourselves up less because we’re feeding our minds healthy information instead of metaphorical junk food.

Every little bit helps.

It really does. Every little beneficial thing we do for ourselves does help and does add up the more we do. No cure-all or magic pill of course. Consuming some informative content while we’re staring at a screen doesn’t do the work of self-actualizing for us. But it’s a step in the right direction, even if it is a baby step.  Baby steps still mean we’re moving forward. 


Some of the accounts I follow that create content that adds value to my life:

The Daily Stoic, The School of Life, Eckhart Tolle, Robert Green, Philosophies for Life, Therapy in a Nutshell, Dr. Tracey Marks, HealthyGamerGG, T&H, Einzelganger, Hellohappie Inspiration, Huberman Lab, and After Skool

Check any/all of those out, let me know what you think of them, and if you have some recommendations of accounts you think I should look into, please let me know in the comments.