Posts Tagged ‘personal development’

For me, it’s mental noise I need to quiet. For others, they need to stop talking.

Ram Dass (quoted in the graphic above) was a spiritual teacher, who, I haven’t studied a lot of, but whenever I’ve listened to his talks or seen of videos of him speaking, would almost always give me goosebumps at some point. In a positive way of course. His cup runneth over with love and compassion.

Contrast that with the spiritual teacher I have studied the most, Eckhart Tolle. Eckhart rarely gives me goosebumps, but who communicates in a way that connects with me deeply, on whatever subject or subtopic he speaks about. I try to watch one of his videos on YouTube every other day.

I’ve also read both The Power of Now and A New Earth which I whole heartedly recommend. They’re very long and dense, so going with the audiobook version is probably the most pragmatic way to go. I’ve done a read through and a listen through of each.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more quiet. I’m sure I talked more and was louder and more obnoxious in the my past than my ego and memory will allow me to believe. But I am now, and for a decent number of years have been a more quiet than talkative person. I recommend it. A great quote that I find evergreen and true is; ā€œthe loudest one in the room, is the weakest one in the roomā€.

At times I’m too quiet for my own good. But I find that to be a better way than the alternative. Especially in a culture where more and more people not only think what they have to say is valuable, but worthy of immediate and constant broadcast.

As I’ve gotten older, my mind has not followed my mouth in becoming more quiet. I’ve been meditating for around fifteen years now. On and off. The relative consistency to habitual consistency kicked in ten years ago. Meditation is one of the only things I recommend to all human beings without exception.

The practice of meditation has quieted my mind more than it was before I started the practice. Like anything else it is not a one time, cure-all, magic bullet. Hence why it is called a meditation practice. But it does help me. There’s more and more science showing how it tangibly helps people.

The greatest gift meditation has given me up to his point, is to help me quiet my mind and to disidentify from my thoughts. Individual thoughts, thought streams, mental movies, the voice in the head. Meditation has helped me to reduce their influence, their frequency, and to stop confusing those things with who I am.

So there is less mental noise. So I can hear more. So I can learn more. So I can do more. I don’t know about you, but I have a lot to learn and a lot to do that will help me live my life the way I know I want to. So every little bit helps.

You have to survive in order to thrive.

Crawl, walk, run.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

We all want to be better people. We all want to do better.

But sometimes, some days, we just need to survive.

External factors show up.

Internal factors bubble up.

There is no instruction manual.

There is no such thing as normal.

As long as you’re not negatively effecting other people, it’s okay to just do what you have to do to make it through to the next day, the next hour, the next minute, the next choice, the next breath.

Judging seems to be a default setting in humans.

It’s not just easy, it’s as natural and normal as breathing.

I know I have been guilty of judging others negatively, but what I was actually doing was projecting negative thoughts about my own flaws onto them. And I’m not accessing my long term memory when I think of examples of this.

I’m not sure if becoming more accepting of human nature comes with age or with experience. I just know that as I’ve gotten older, and had more experience interacting with more and more people, I am (slowly) becoming more accepting of the fact that to be human is to be irrational.

I think that if we all take a minute to look back on some of our decisions in just our recent past, we’ll find the actions of an irrational person.

Studying philosophy has helped me with this. Reading books by Robert Greene has specifically helped me with this a lot in recent years.

To accept our human nature, is to be forgiving, to have empathy.

We need more of a lot of things in this world, but empathy, that is something that a majority of us can agree upon. Something free, simple, within all of our ability to control and influence.

Having more compassion for myself and empathy for others is an evergreen new years resolution for me. Being more aware and accepting of the irrationality of human nature has helped provide fuel for my ability to empathize to grow.

30 Things I love about myself

As an exercise in building self esteem and self confidence I was recently challenged to list thirty things I like or love about myself. My list is below. I found it to be an effective and pragmatically valuable exercise. I recommend it.

1. BxB XI Experience

2. Pro wrestling experiences

3. Vest in the world

4. Beard

5. Blog

6. Poetry

7. Journaling

8. Meditation practice

9. Weight training

10. Yoga

11. Bracelets

12. House plants

13. Media Communications BA

14. Alcohol tolerance

15. Sense of humor

16. Reading habit

17. Music taste

18. Concert experiences

19. Rave experiences

20. Poker experiences

21. Hair

22. Nightlife Experiences

23. Knowledge of/Taste in entertainment

24. Knowledge of/Taste in sports

25. Study of stoicism & philosophy

26. Study of spirituality

27. Desire for personal development

28. Hallucinogen knowledge/experiences

29. Supplement knowledge/consumption

30. Survival and thriving through grief and depression

One of the first audio books I ever rented from my local library was Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. I had a bad habit of turning molehills into mountains. Of turning little things into big things. Of taking serious, things which were meant to be taken lightly.

Through nature or nurture, I inherited this habit from my parents. Both of them, up until they both passed away; dramatized insignificant day to day happenings in their personal lives and the events of the world around them. So frequently and with such fervor, that it short circuited my internal ability to distinguish between the important and the irrelevant while judging each in a negatively passive aggressive manner.

I was in my twenties when I had a roommate who told me that my priorities and way of seeing the world were totally out of whack. That I focused my time and attention on things that I had no control over and/or had nothing to do with me.

Around that same time is when I got more serious about a regular-daily meditation practice. That was likely a new years resolution around that time when I first downloaded the Calm app.

When this prompt popped up on one of my recent Daily Calm meditations, it brought back a flood of memory pieces from the times spent listening to that audiobook during my commutes in and around Chicago. The concept of don’t sweat the small stuff is modern wrapping paper placed on the gift of traditional philosophy.

I wasn’t ready to implement and habitualize the concept back then. Because it was just touching on the edges of philosophies like stoicism and taoism. I didn’t need to dip my toes in philosophy and spirituality, I needed to dive head first into the deep end. Because my head was already drowning in constant thoughts and negative emotions.

Flushing the negative judgements of myself and others with the pressure washer of philosophy and the cleansing waters of a spirituality practice were what I needed then, and what is helping me so much, now.

But some people need to just dip there toes in. Change is hard. Paradigms die hard. Perception shifts are slow. The modern personal development/self help genre is built on the foundation philosophy.

So do check out some non fiction self help books, audio books, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc if you need help. Modern people, language, examples and stories will be a necessary ingredient for many people. Since ageism applies to concepts as well as people in the world we live in.

Whatever works, whatever helps.