Posts Tagged ‘personal development’

As It Is > What It Is

Posted: January 25, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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There’s something about the phrase it is what it is that I never liked beyond a joking context. I love the it is what it is memes. But in day to day life, it mildly rubbed me the wrong way.

One day while watching YouTube I heard Eckhart Tolle say “It is as it is” and something clicked/stuck.

What’s the difference between these two phrases? The meaning I internally assigned to them. Just because one clicked with me and the other didn’t, doesn’t mean there’s an actual difference.

Tolle went on to explain that when something happens, we can acknowledge the situation, internally and/or externally as it is. This is what is happening. It is as it is. Now, what is my reaction going to be? How will I respond to this?

Choosing a response that is beneficial, rather than detrimental isn’t dependent on saying to oneself, “It is as it is”, but it has certainly helped me. Cultivating the inner space between stimulus and response, to think or say anything constructive, that is mandatory work for all of us.

If we are reaction junkies, then we do ourselves a disservice and essentially give our power away to anyone or anything that inconveniences or challenges us. And challenges never stop in life. One need not be a sage or old or even have much life experience to have learned that…repeatedly.

Cultivating enough space between stimulus and response to say five words can be a tall task for many. It certainly turned out to be a long term goal for me. On some days, it still seems like a long term goal. I know there was a time, a long period of my life, where I was unaware of the space between stimulus and response and therefore by default gave my power away to any and all external events or shifting internal moods.

Meditation, philosophy and spirituality practices have all been a tremendous help for me. I would classify my meditation and philosophy practices as life savers. Meditation, philosophy and weight training are the three things I recommend to all human beings regardless of age.

Spirituality can run into immediate resistance from the agnostic and atheist types so I usually skip it and focus on the pragmatic, immediate benefits of practicing meditation, physical exercise, and philosophy.

Meditation and philosophy have helped to teach me about the thinking mind, emotion, and human nature. Those three lessons/concepts are almost always able to be plugged into situations that cause me to pause and say “it is as it is”. Being unaware or willfully ignorant of the thinking mind, emotion, and human nature often makes situations worse, and makes viewing negative situations as challenges impossible.

Although being able to say “it is what it is” and laugh it off, is pretty zen too.

Past Reviews as a Vehicle for #Progress

Posted: January 24, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Seven(ish) years ago I bought the notebook that was going to change everything.

I’ve been happily surprised this has become a meme around the new year. I suppose taking some relief that so many other people made & make the same mistake I did.

I am just now, a few pages away from finishing that notebook/journal.

Why didn’t the notebook change everything? I’m no authority but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with seeking something external to change something internal.

Rereading my old journal entries is one of my new years resolutions. It has been a missing piece of my journaling practice for as long as I have been journaling. Both Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday have spoken about the need to revisit old writings. As it is important to revisit old or long held thoughts to see if they’re still applicable or even beneficial.

I’ve never consistently reread old journal entries. Maybe here or there, spread out over my entire writing life. A fraction of a percentage. But as I’ve been reviewing old journal entires, some a decade old, some a few months old, I’ve immediately and consistently seen the value in doing so.

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Perspective. It puts my thoughts, opinions, and experiences that I chose to put onto paper in a different perspective. It helps to show what I was struggling with then and if I’m’ still struggling now. It puts a different perspective on my own voice. On my own thoughts. On what’s going on in my head. On the voice going on inside my head.

Compassion. We all have our issues and shortcomings. Much of what I’ve journaled about during my life has been about mine. Seeing the consistent underlying theme of my personal issues and shortcomings wreaking various levels of havoc on my life while I fight the good fight to keep my head above water while on the right path…has bred more self compassion and empathy for others.

Determination. To see how long and how frequently the same issues and shortcomings have been influencing the quality and direction of my life, there is a controlled, pragmatic increase in determination to take action and build habits to combat and conquer these issues. Or at least break the vicious cycle.

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An inner spark for inner change. Buying a notebook only changes one’s account balance. Rereading old journals only takes up time. It’s the choices and actions that come after that count. Just like with everything else.

But it starts and succeeds from the inside out, not from the outside in.

It’s All a #Practice

Posted: January 23, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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We do it, we forget, then we remember again. That’s why it’s a practice.

What’s a practice? Everything we do. Until we’re doing it without thinking. Until we’re doing it without thinking with proficiency. Until we’re doing it without thinking with excellence.

It’s all a practice.

Until we’re masters.

And the number of masters to have ever lived is smaller than we would like to think or than we would care to admit.

I’m a meditation practitioner, a philosophy practitioner, a weight lifting practitioner, a communications practitioner, a try not to be an asshole practitioner.

It’s all a practice.

We learn by doing.

We do it, we forget, then we remember again.

That’s why life is a journey and not a destination. We never arrive. Change is the only constant. We’re in a constant state of flux.

So we practice doing the things we want to do, the things we need to do, and the things we have to do.

We have to do, what we have to do.

It’s all a practice.

It’s why witnessing a masterpiece or being in the presence of masters of a craft has an almost universal emotional connection and appeal across demographics and generations. Rare isn’t the word for it. Language doesn’t do it justice.

What do we want to get better at? What do we need to improve? What must we learn?

We do it, we forget, then we remember again. That’s why it’s a practice.

Just #Begin, the Rest Follows

Posted: January 18, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Just begin, the rest follows.

Getting started is the hardest part. Momentum can sustain itself.

There is a reason that beginning is so hard in our minds. Inertia. We need the extra effort to get started. A great external example is a space ship. The rocket blast to begin the launch and get the ship into space.

I can remember countless times, the internal feeling of some invisible, probably imaginary force pushing against my body. Making me feel mentally, emotionally, and physically uncomfortable. How am I supposed to start something new when I don’t feel good?

That is a natural thought. That is a normal reaction. I doubt I’m the only human in the history of the world to experience a fantom, physical form of resistance.

Steven Pressfield, one of my favorite authors, has built a wonderful career on his wisdom towards the concept of resistance. His book, The Art of War is the book I’ve gifted the most alongside The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday.

Resistance is the rule. Consistent effort is the exception. If that wasn’t true, we would be living in an unrecognizable utopia, probably resembling the world in Star Trek.

I’ve been practicing yoga on and off for fifteen years. I have to say on an off because I can’t in all honesty say I’ve been practicing consistently for that long. I can probably say I’ve been practicing yoga consistently for two years, maybe three. The first time I did yoga in 2008-2009, I felt great. I loved it. I knew then I wanted to make it a regular part of my life.

Yet, I still to literally this very day, five hours ago when I did yoga, I procrastinated starting it for like an hour at least. Even though it makes me feel physically good whenever I do it. Even though it’s good for my physical and mental health. Yet the resistance to starting, is both strong, and dug in like a tick.

But every time when I actually start doing yoga, every time, before I’m done with my first down dog pose, I feel good, am glad I started, and finish the entire routine I set out to do whether I’m winging it or using a guide on YouTube.

It’s like that for everything. Maybe not everything feels good when we start. But when we start, and are actually doing the thing, taking action, putting forth the effort, it’s easier to keep going. It’s definitely easier to keep going than our resistance and procrastination would lead us to believe in our inner monologue.

Just begin, the rest follows.

Be Aware of #CognitiveDistortions

Posted: January 15, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Every day I have a reminder of my phone set to go off that says “I am Aware of Cognitive Distortions”. It only goes off once per day. I could probably use another two or three…dozen reminders over the course of the day, as could most people.

Cognitive distortions or perceiving reality inaccurately, is as natural and normal and easy and automatic as breathing. Is it possible for people to not interpret and assign meaning to the things that happen to them? Yes. Is that the normal, commonplace way most humans live? No

Framing what happens to us in a positive way is obviously preferable. But if the majority of people had a positive way at looking at the world, the world we live in would be unrecognizable. We’d be closer to the Garden of Eden than not.

Negativity is natural. It’s part of how we have evolved. It’s how we have survived from hunter gatherers to farmers to the industrial revolution to the information age. Unfortunately the information age has put cognitive distortions on steroids. Social media echo chambers, travel vlog FOMO, influencer sensationalization, hustle culture, face filters and photoshop.

All designed to exploit our tendency towards cognitive distortions; to think less of ourselves, more of the content creators, so that we will spend our time, attention, and emotional reactions on whatever they’re selling.

Being aware of cognitive distortions brings a bit of wisdom to the information age that drowns us collectively and individually. Awareness is the way out after all. No magic pill. Awareness is less than action. But often right action won’t come unless awareness is there.

Positive, productive, beneficial cognitive distortions are preferred to the negative. It is almost always better to frame what is happening to us in a way that is productive as long as it doesn’t bring harm to anyone else.

Today however, as an exercise in having our feet on the ground while our heads’ are in the clouds, lets try to observe the external reality we live in with objectivity first. This is as it is. Acknowledge the is-ness of the moment. Be aware of what is happening without assigning labels. Then take action from there.

This is Eckhart Tolle 101. Practical. Applicable. Real world helpful.

Separated from the spiritual enlightenment and fulfillment practices that Tolle is synonymous with.

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