Posts Tagged ‘personal development’

#Mental Space to Choose

Posted: December 26, 2023 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional, Stimulus Space Response
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ā€œBetween stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.ā€

It would be nice to say that I had an awakening or an epiphany that changed the way I lived forever all at once.

The older I get, the more I feel like that isnā€™t how change works.

Iā€™ve had, what I thought were life changing epiphanies, repeatedly. Life changing visions, repeatedly. Life changing moments, repeatedly. I thought after X or Y happened to me that I would live differently from that point onward.

Habits always win out however. Choices, actions done repeatedly make our lives.

The concept of Stimulus-Space-Response was a concept I first learned from a rented audio book by Stephen Covey. He was telling the story of Holocaust survivor Dr. Victor Frankl.

Learning about that concept I can still remember thinking, in the library I was listening to the audiobook in; that this was going to change my life from that point on.

I thought my depression, laziness, anxieties would all be instantly and forever changed now that I knew that there was a space between stimulus and response.

I get to choose how I respond?! I can cultivate and grow that space?!! Surely this will change my life immediately. I will only make good choices now. I will only do right actions.

The older I get, the more I feel like that isnā€™t how change works.

But learning about Stimulus-Space-Response is one of the closest things Iā€™ve ever experienced to an epiphany that stuck. I suppose a more apt metaphor would be that of a seed being planted. A seed of lasting change was planted that day.

Stephen Covey also used farming as an analogy for change and for life. I may have planted the seed(s) for growth, but I failed to tend to the soil properly with patience and persistence. Then the harvest was nothing.

It is a great concept that more people should know about. The knowledge that we can choose what happens to us no matter what happens. Because we have the ability to think, perceive, and assign meaning in our brain. Unlike most animals.

I think most people are unaware of this. I know I was. I think most people think that to live, is to live reactively. Just reacting to whatever happens to us and around us whether good, bad, or indifferent.

But we can choose to stop, breath, think, and choose.

Itā€™s no magic pill, no such thing of course. But it can help. It helps me.

#Stoicism for Breakfast

Posted: December 24, 2023 in Stimulus Space Response
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Studying philosophy, specifically Stoicism has been a life saver for me.

I have found stoicism and a meditation practice go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Which is appropriate, since the most famous work of the most famous stoic in the history of the world is called ā€œMeditationsā€ by Marcus Aurelius.

The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday has been one of the best things Iā€™ve ever incorporated into my life. The book, the podcast, and the YouTube videos. I strongly recommend any and all to any person who reads my words.

Listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast first thing in the morning was a staple of my routine for years when it was just a couple of minutes long. In recent years, especially the last two, watching a Daily Stoic video on YouTube with my morning coffee has been how I start my days.

It puts my head in the right placeā€¦along with the coffee of course.

The concept of we donā€™t control what happens to us, we control how we respond has been not just a game changer, but a life saver. That concept completely changed my paradigm of my life at a time when my life desperately needed that change.

Stoicism is no magic pill of course. No such thing exists.

Philosophy has been a tremendous aide. A wonderful tool in the tool belt of helping myself and developing as a person. A way to help keep my ego in check.

First world, capitalist controlled, consumer countries all have out of control, exploited egos by cultural design. We suffer for it because we can never have enough externally. Stoicism teaches that we already have enough, internally.

Ready to Do

Posted: December 21, 2023 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional, Stimulus Space Response
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You have the want to change.

You have to want help.

You have to decide yourā€™e ready.

You in this case, means me, means us.

I like the spirituality concept that we are all one, or come from one energy source.

Energy, atoms, etc.

Ten years of work to become an over night sensation.

There is a lot of internal work to do before I was ready for external.

So much baggage to let go of. So much to strip away.

Expectation, validation, opinion, anxiety, depression, laziness.

There is a lot of internal work to do.

Philosophy, mediation, exercise, journaling, yoga, psychology, communicationā€¦

Then Iā€™m walking from one room to the next and I want to do the thing.

No thought, no worry, no excuse, no waiting, I just wanted to do the thing.

Then I did it and wanted to do it again the next day and the next day.

Years and years of nothing, no thing. No action. No doing.

There was a lot of internal work that was done.

There is a lot of internal work to do.

But I am grateful for the process.

I am grateful for the journey.

Some say thatā€™s what life isā€¦

First Drafts, Second Steps

Posted: December 20, 2023 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional, Stimulus Space Response
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Seeing this image helped something click in my brain.

Call it writerā€™s block, perfectionism, procrastination, or just being human.

I didnā€™t want to write, or do much that required effort. Why?

Well what if I fail. What if I donā€™t get anything out of it.

External. Ego.

The work is the win. Itā€™s about doing what I love doing. Time well spent.

Who cares if it isnā€™t perfect, great, good?

Itā€™s time well spent, because I like doing it. Itā€™s part of the process.

Everything starts out bad. Every person who was great started out bad.

No exceptions, ever.

We all have to learn.

We have to learn how to live and survive, let alone thrive or specialize.

So itā€™ll be bad at first and down the road, if I stick with it, hopefully it will be better.

It still might only be me who ever reads these. But thatā€™s fine too.

Thereā€™s genuine value in going through the motions.

The value is building beneficial habits.

Itā€™s Okay to Start Again

Posted: December 19, 2023 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional, Stimulus Space Response
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I was going to start blogging again in May. I was inspired to write about one of the graphics that come up at the end of a Daily Calm mediation on the Calm app. I pinned the post to my Facebook and LinkedIn pages. I opened up an account on Medium. I wanted to write online again.

I journal daily or every other day. More consistent day to day, or bi daily journaling is one of the 2023 New Yearā€™s Resolutions I actually stuck to. Iā€™ve been writing but I stopped thinking about blogging again. I blogged regularly for years. That stopped when I started on a new path in life. The month before I moved was the last time I blogged.

Iā€™ve thought about starting again a few times. This was going to be the year. The meditation blog/blurb was in May. Itā€™s December. I was going to start again. Halfway through the year I was going to start again. Now the year is over.

So Iā€™m starting again now. Not waiting for the new year. Iā€™ll still put it on a resolution list. Iā€™ve been making those simple and doable in recent years and sticking to a handful each year. So Iā€™ll put blogging on the listā€¦again.

I love writing. I love to write. I love to learn new things and write about them. I have wanted to write about the things Iā€™ve learned on subjects like fitness, philosophy, spirituality, supplements, nightlife, psychology, and human nature for years now. Post an image or a quote or a link to the thing that inspired me to write, and blog about it in order to share it with the world. Not for clout or fame or attention. But for the good stuff. The deep stuff. The stuff that connects us.

And thatā€™s why Iā€™m writing and posting this. This is essentially a typed out journal piece to myself about starting again. A piece of content that I can look back on hopefully a couple dozen, a couple hundred or a couple of thousand blog posts down the line, and cringe with laughter.

But maybe one person reads this an feels like it is okay for them to start again too. Because it is okay to start again. For any reason. At anytime. It is okay to start again. No one is watching, no one cares, weā€™re all focused and busy living our own lives, focused on what weā€™re doing individually, so you might as well do what you want to do anyway.

I want to write. I want to share my writing. I want to write about the things I learn in life that help make me a better person. The things that help keep me sane. The things that help me get through hard times. I want to write about the things that help me live. For the good reasons. To help others, while helping myself.

Sharing means caring after all. Whatā€™s better to share than help? Sharing what helps me get through this thing called life. Sharing ideas. Sharing art. Sharing myā€¦gift? Sharing what I love. Sharing, that itā€™s okay to start again.

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