Posts Tagged ‘self help’

#Calibration vs #Criticism

Posted: February 14, 2014 in anarchyroll media, Stimulus Space Response
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ssrlogo2by @anarchyroll
2/13/2014

I first heard the word calibration used repeatedly while actively studying social dynamics. It was often used as a way to find balance between x and y. Criticism, well, we’re all familiar with that aren’t we? From our inner dialogue, from our peers, from our family, from our romantic partners, from strangers in public venting masked personal frustration upon us. Calibration is heard less and used less. What is it?

The simple way to break it down is, calibration is the third part of the trial and error principle. Trial = take action, error = what went wrong, calibration = what you can do next time to prevent the same error from happening again. What’s great about calibration is, it can’t be done without action. So if you get in the game and take a swing, it’s cool, because now you have tangible, external examples on what to better next time. As opposed to, say, sitting on one’s ass judging others harshly to vent personal shame due to lack of courage to take action.

I have been so far behind the eight ball on being a responsible, independent, mature, adult at times that the fact that I was able to shift from criticism to calibration is an accomplishment for me. Because it involved taking action. So after I would finish being mad at myself for failing, or not executing my objective from a to z perfectly, I would be able to take a deep breath (deep breathing is key) and write out or discuss with a friend what went right and what went wrong.

One can’t make a pros and cons list if they take no action. No, sitting alone at home in heavy thought does not count. Being stuck in one’s head is something I empathize with. I have missed many opportunities because I was too stuck in my own head to exercise courage in the moment of choice and take action in the direction of my goals. That lead to criticism, lots of it.

If you find yourself being highly critical of yourself and others, as I have been in the past, it is time to look inside. A good first step I have seen pop up in multiple books and recorded seminars is making eye contact with one’s reflection in the mirror and holding it for no less than five to ten minutes in silence. A thought journal would follow, then a list of goals (immediate, short term) to start taking action. Reading books, listening to audio programs, watching videos of personal development instructors, success authors, life coaches, etc can come next as a guide so one doesn’t get lost, feel alone, or feel it is okay to give up when faced with no immediate gratification.

Life does not come with an instruction manual. We have to be taught to walk & talk, where to shit & piss, not to burn ourselves touching hot things, how to dress, tie shoes, bathe, etc. How does one know what they are not taught? Go easy on yourself, it’s not easy, it = life. Don’t feel shame asking for help, by checking out a book, talking to a friend, keeping a private journal, and doing new things that make your uncomfortable. Because after all; “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neal Donald Walsh

#Decisive

Posted: February 7, 2014 in Stimulus Space Response
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by @anarchyroll
2/6/2014

Making good decisions is a basic part of life, but certainly not an easy one. If everyone made the decisions that are best for them consistently, well the world would certainly be a different place.  Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath seeks to help people make better decisions in life and business.  It is a personal development book based upon science rather than spirituality. I recommend Decisive, for the same reason I recommend Willpower and The Power of Habit.  All three are personal development/ self help books for people who don’t like self help books.  All three are based completely on empirical, peer reviewed, scientific research and kill the idea that self help books are new age, rah rah, think positive and you’ll become rich that has stigmatized the genre since the 1980s.

The key concept in Decisive is the W.R.A.P Method which stands for;

  1. Widen your options
  2. Reality test your assumptions
  3. Attain some distance
  4. Prepare to be wrong

The other concepts of the book that are very useful are confirmation bias, pre mortem, trip wires, and loss aversion. Each of which can go a long way to helping a person think more independently, separated from pride one’s pride, ego, and personal bias.

The book encourages a person to always look for at least one alternative to their original idea. In a business setting, the following three questions are encouraged to be asked;

  1. What would I tell my best friend to do?
  2. If I got fired, what would my successor do?
  3. What would have to be true for each option to be right?

As with every book, the devil is in the details. The seven things I have listed above alone can provide a baseline of help. Though the credibility as to why they are helpful are explained in detail by citing research and studies over the course of many years.

This book will help you. The processes the book gives can be plugged into the space between stimulus and response to help any person utilize the space after the stimulus, in order to produce a response of dignity, maturity, and with the end in mind.

Definitely recommended for the anti personal development person we all know. Or anyone who can admit to themselves that we all need help making better decisions in our personal and professional lives.

A New Earth, A New Life

Posted: January 31, 2014 in Stimulus Space Response
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by @anarchyroll
1/31/2014

Very few things have happened to me that I consider genuinely life changing. Listening to the audio book for A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle is one of them.

There was immediate change as well in terms of how I viewed my own life, as well as the lives of others. That wore off after a few months, but the seeds for long lasting permanent change had been planted.  Present moment awareness, resistance as an emotion, the ego, reading the sign posts of the universe, letting go, and mental noise are concepts taught in this book that I am eternally grateful and better for learning.

I know I would be lost without this book. It is no magic pill, because there is no such thing. It did fill in huge pieces of the puzzle of life for me.  This book brought me to year zero in terms of being who I wanted to be and living the life I wanted to live. This book is the salt of the Earth. This book allowed me to feel calm, ready, and willing to accept I had to tear it down and start from scratch.

How I came by this book? It was thanks to The Game by Neil Strauss.  The villain of that nonfiction book is a man named Owen Cook, who was going by Tyler Durden at that time (yes named after Fight Club Tyler Durden.) When Owen’s life came crashing down around him after The Game came out and painted him in a very negative light, and the negative financial repercussions that came with it, he started getting into spirituality.  A New Earth turned his life around and his most successful piece of self help material he personally created The Blueprint Decoded was built on a foundation of the concepts in A New Earth.

A vast majority of the Blueprint stuff was deep level stuff.  Well below the surface layer of pick up lines and traditional social dynamics material.  An audience member at the four day seminar where Blueprint was recorded talked about changing his college major after reading A New Earth. I was in college at the time and figured I would check it out.  Wow am I glad I did. My major didn’t change.  But the way I perceived basically everything that happened to me did.  How I looked at other human beings changed. How I looked at the world changed.  How I looked at concepts like coincidence, serendipity, chance, luck, reaction, interpretation, breathing, the thought process all changed forever.

In the future I will detail those changes more specifically.  The greatest gifts were a gift of calmness both in the face of adversity and good times.  An awareness of where my thoughts come from.  Better clarity on the human condition.  The struggle of the ego versus the soul that is waged inside of all of us, all day, every day.  A New Earth started the remodel by tearing it all down including knowing a new foundation had to be engineered.  The Game by Neil Strauss gave me the idea change was needed.  The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey was what would serve as the new foundation. More to come on those next time.

Tap the #Source, Create the Space

Posted: January 25, 2014 in Stimulus Space Response
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by @anarchyroll
1/24/2013

You’ve probably heard of the Law of Attraction by now.  The Secret by Rhonda Byrne as publicized by Oprah has made it almost impossible to not know what the Law of Attraction is.

Think of The Secret as Tumblr of self help/personal development books. The is essentially reblogging of material that is hundreds if not thousands of years old. However, she mostly just reblogged (in book and movie form) the works of Charles Haanel.

To me, personally, The Secret came off as naive, pretentious, and new age selfish.  Another famous Law of Attraction book by Jerry and Ester Hicks came across as to me as borderline deranged.  Tapping the Source is put in plain language. It is explained thoroughly and simply. The main points are repeated throughout the book to hammer them home.  It is one of the few books I recommend to every human being to read.

The main points of the book involve thinking positively, visualizing specific goals as if they have been achieved, AND feeling positive emotions while thinking/visualizing the positive thoughts.  Attaching the feeling(s) to the thought(s) is what most people miss/forget about the Law of Attraction. Without the specific visualization and physical emotional state attached to it, thinking positive is essentially useless.

The other principle the book is centered upon is saying specific “focus phrases” while meditating.  A person should get into a meditative/prayer state (which is more than just sitting down with your eyes closed) and say each of the following in order:

  1. I choose to focus enjoyably inward
  2. My mind is quiet, I am now in the silence
  3. I am open to receive guidance from my source
  4. I know what I want
  5. I feel connected with creative power
  6. My vision is right now perfect and complete
  7. Each new moment is manifesting my dream

The book offers very detailed and specific guidance for why each focus phrase individually and collectively are important to say.  Tapping the Source is essentially an update of Haanel’s own 1912 book The Master Key System.  If you are looking to turn your life around or fine tune your success this book is what you’re looking for. It is a great starting point because it has been a starting point for every self help author for the last century.  Napoleon Hill, Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, etc all use Haanel’s work as primary source material. That is what initially attracted me to the book. I wanted to know what the self help guru’s were reading and using to create their material.  If it is good enough for them, it’s good enough for you and me. This book will help to create a solid foundation for which you can build a palace of personal development upon.

Self Hypnotherapy a Start

Posted: November 8, 2013 in Stimulus Space Response
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ssrlogo2by @anarchyroll
11/7/2013

I’ve written about where I/why I started in down my path of personal development and knowledge consumption. So naturally I’m not going to skip all the way to where I am presently and work my way backwards.

Over the last month I started listening to trance induction, paraliminal, multi layered audio recordings before going to sleep and/or after suffering any degree of a panic attack or bad mood.  A simpler way to say that although with just as many syllables is self hypnotherapy.

I like the majority of people confused hypnosis for entertainment, as it has been bastardized as such in the media for the last several decades. While learning about Richard Bandler and Neuro Linguistic Programming, hypnosis and hypnotherapy began coming up more and more. The name Milton Erickson kept coming up more and more as well.  I had heard of Erickson before while listening to an audio book by Tony Robbins.

I listen to the tracks with headphones, while laying down in bed, with the shades drawn, lights off, and a hot water bottle on my lower back.

After a couple of weeks I started getting hypnotized quicker and for longer periods of time. But that only lasted for a week.  Presently I still get hypnotized during each track, but the length and depth seems to be shorter/smaller.

Being hypnotized has helped me, though I realized after a few weeks I was hoping it would be the magic pill.  I made progress in the areas I wanted to make progress in. No doubt, I set external metrics for success and initially reached them, but then stagnated/hit a plateau.  However, the plateau was reached because I resisted pushing myself beyond my comfort zone in certain situations.

Since it is self hypnosis meaning I am doing it alone, and since I have no one there to help me “in the field” (despite requesting help from my five closest friends) I am left to try and push myself beyond my limits alone.  And if that were easy there would be no personal trainers, life coaches, dieticians, or need for police.  Self mastery is hard and smacking up against my limits, mental short comings, emotional scars, physical pains, and social paralysis everyday has worn me down a bit.

But the hypnotherapy fuels me up.  My discipline has increased, my efficiency has increased, myself talk is more positive, I am socializing more when I am out in the world, I am setting more goals, and achieving more goals.

I recommend everyone try it for a month, anything less than listening to a track once a day everyday for a month is useless.  The Sphinx of Imagination by Hypnotica was the first I ever tried. I have since listened to tracks by Jack Canfield, Richard Bandler, Carol Erickson, Richard Nognard, and a few others.  Look up NLP Hypnosis audio in a torrent search engine and try a couple for yourself…then purchase them if they work for you.  I think you’ll be surprised what self hypnotherapy will do for you.   More to come on this issue in the future…

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