Posts Tagged ‘personal development’

Conscious, Awareness, #Habits

Posted: January 28, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Live long enough and you’ll eventually ask yourself internally or out loud; “Why am I like this?”

The rational answer sans emotional baggage and personal history is…habits.

We are a product of our habits. Habits being repeated actions. Our most repeated actions. We are what we repeatedly do, without exception.

Habits by their nature, are unconscious. The purpose of forming habits is to be able to do them with minimal or no thought. That’s how they stick for better AND for worse.

New Years Resolutions are the most popular, socially accepted, tradition of bringing conscious awareness to our habits. For the first couple of weeks every year people become aware of and focus on their eating habits, drinking habits, social habits, exercise habits, leisure time habits, relationship habits, etc.

It’s also a meme that people drop off of their resolutions within days or maybe weeks the beginning of the new year. Planet Fitness’ profitability is dependent on people signing up, dropping off, but not canceling their membership.

However the act of the new years resolution is a proper formula for change. At least for the beginning portion of change. One can’t change without being aware change is needed. Again, habits are by their nature unconscious. We have to bring awareness to our habits to change them for better AND for worse.

Our lives aren’t just dominated by our habits, our lives are our habits. Whatever our individual life constitutes as normal is made normal by the habitual actions we take every hour of everyday or every week of every month of every year of our lives.

Awareness is the way out. I know I’ve had to spend a lot of mental energy on building new habits in pretty much every area of my life. Naturally there was/is emotional baggage attached to them. We’re all human beings after all. We’re not productivity or efficiency machines no matter how much capitalism wants us to be.

It’s a marathon not a sprint.

Some of the new years resolutions I stuck to last year, literally didn’t become habitualized until December. Because habits don’t form in a couple of days or a couple of weeks no matter how impatient we may be.

We may have to work to make a living but our life’s work is the work of making our life. As long as we’re alive, we can dedicate the time, energy, focus, and consistency to improving our lives based on our own criteria for what brings us consistent joy and fulfillment. And we can’t do that unconsciously with one off actions.

As It Is > What It Is

Posted: January 25, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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There’s something about the phrase it is what it is that I never liked beyond a joking context. I love the it is what it is memes. But in day to day life, it mildly rubbed me the wrong way.

One day while watching YouTube I heard Eckhart Tolle say “It is as it is” and something clicked/stuck.

What’s the difference between these two phrases? The meaning I internally assigned to them. Just because one clicked with me and the other didn’t, doesn’t mean there’s an actual difference.

Tolle went on to explain that when something happens, we can acknowledge the situation, internally and/or externally as it is. This is what is happening. It is as it is. Now, what is my reaction going to be? How will I respond to this?

Choosing a response that is beneficial, rather than detrimental isn’t dependent on saying to oneself, “It is as it is”, but it has certainly helped me. Cultivating the inner space between stimulus and response, to think or say anything constructive, that is mandatory work for all of us.

If we are reaction junkies, then we do ourselves a disservice and essentially give our power away to anyone or anything that inconveniences or challenges us. And challenges never stop in life. One need not be a sage or old or even have much life experience to have learned that…repeatedly.

Cultivating enough space between stimulus and response to say five words can be a tall task for many. It certainly turned out to be a long term goal for me. On some days, it still seems like a long term goal. I know there was a time, a long period of my life, where I was unaware of the space between stimulus and response and therefore by default gave my power away to any and all external events or shifting internal moods.

Meditation, philosophy and spirituality practices have all been a tremendous help for me. I would classify my meditation and philosophy practices as life savers. Meditation, philosophy and weight training are the three things I recommend to all human beings regardless of age.

Spirituality can run into immediate resistance from the agnostic and atheist types so I usually skip it and focus on the pragmatic, immediate benefits of practicing meditation, physical exercise, and philosophy.

Meditation and philosophy have helped to teach me about the thinking mind, emotion, and human nature. Those three lessons/concepts are almost always able to be plugged into situations that cause me to pause and say “it is as it is”. Being unaware or willfully ignorant of the thinking mind, emotion, and human nature often makes situations worse, and makes viewing negative situations as challenges impossible.

Although being able to say “it is what it is” and laugh it off, is pretty zen too.

Past Reviews as a Vehicle for #Progress

Posted: January 24, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Seven(ish) years ago I bought the notebook that was going to change everything.

I’ve been happily surprised this has become a meme around the new year. I suppose taking some relief that so many other people made & make the same mistake I did.

I am just now, a few pages away from finishing that notebook/journal.

Why didn’t the notebook change everything? I’m no authority but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with seeking something external to change something internal.

Rereading my old journal entries is one of my new years resolutions. It has been a missing piece of my journaling practice for as long as I have been journaling. Both Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday have spoken about the need to revisit old writings. As it is important to revisit old or long held thoughts to see if they’re still applicable or even beneficial.

I’ve never consistently reread old journal entries. Maybe here or there, spread out over my entire writing life. A fraction of a percentage. But as I’ve been reviewing old journal entires, some a decade old, some a few months old, I’ve immediately and consistently seen the value in doing so.

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Perspective. It puts my thoughts, opinions, and experiences that I chose to put onto paper in a different perspective. It helps to show what I was struggling with then and if I’m’ still struggling now. It puts a different perspective on my own voice. On my own thoughts. On what’s going on in my head. On the voice going on inside my head.

Compassion. We all have our issues and shortcomings. Much of what I’ve journaled about during my life has been about mine. Seeing the consistent underlying theme of my personal issues and shortcomings wreaking various levels of havoc on my life while I fight the good fight to keep my head above water while on the right path…has bred more self compassion and empathy for others.

Determination. To see how long and how frequently the same issues and shortcomings have been influencing the quality and direction of my life, there is a controlled, pragmatic increase in determination to take action and build habits to combat and conquer these issues. Or at least break the vicious cycle.

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An inner spark for inner change. Buying a notebook only changes one’s account balance. Rereading old journals only takes up time. It’s the choices and actions that come after that count. Just like with everything else.

But it starts and succeeds from the inside out, not from the outside in.

It’s All a #Practice

Posted: January 23, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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We do it, we forget, then we remember again. That’s why it’s a practice.

What’s a practice? Everything we do. Until we’re doing it without thinking. Until we’re doing it without thinking with proficiency. Until we’re doing it without thinking with excellence.

It’s all a practice.

Until we’re masters.

And the number of masters to have ever lived is smaller than we would like to think or than we would care to admit.

I’m a meditation practitioner, a philosophy practitioner, a weight lifting practitioner, a communications practitioner, a try not to be an asshole practitioner.

It’s all a practice.

We learn by doing.

We do it, we forget, then we remember again.

That’s why life is a journey and not a destination. We never arrive. Change is the only constant. We’re in a constant state of flux.

So we practice doing the things we want to do, the things we need to do, and the things we have to do.

We have to do, what we have to do.

It’s all a practice.

It’s why witnessing a masterpiece or being in the presence of masters of a craft has an almost universal emotional connection and appeal across demographics and generations. Rare isn’t the word for it. Language doesn’t do it justice.

What do we want to get better at? What do we need to improve? What must we learn?

We do it, we forget, then we remember again. That’s why it’s a practice.

Just #Begin, the Rest Follows

Posted: January 18, 2024 in Stimulus Space Response
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Just begin, the rest follows.

Getting started is the hardest part. Momentum can sustain itself.

There is a reason that beginning is so hard in our minds. Inertia. We need the extra effort to get started. A great external example is a space ship. The rocket blast to begin the launch and get the ship into space.

I can remember countless times, the internal feeling of some invisible, probably imaginary force pushing against my body. Making me feel mentally, emotionally, and physically uncomfortable. How am I supposed to start something new when I don’t feel good?

That is a natural thought. That is a normal reaction. I doubt I’m the only human in the history of the world to experience a fantom, physical form of resistance.

Steven Pressfield, one of my favorite authors, has built a wonderful career on his wisdom towards the concept of resistance. His book, The Art of War is the book I’ve gifted the most alongside The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday.

Resistance is the rule. Consistent effort is the exception. If that wasn’t true, we would be living in an unrecognizable utopia, probably resembling the world in Star Trek.

I’ve been practicing yoga on and off for fifteen years. I have to say on an off because I can’t in all honesty say I’ve been practicing consistently for that long. I can probably say I’ve been practicing yoga consistently for two years, maybe three. The first time I did yoga in 2008-2009, I felt great. I loved it. I knew then I wanted to make it a regular part of my life.

Yet, I still to literally this very day, five hours ago when I did yoga, I procrastinated starting it for like an hour at least. Even though it makes me feel physically good whenever I do it. Even though it’s good for my physical and mental health. Yet the resistance to starting, is both strong, and dug in like a tick.

But every time when I actually start doing yoga, every time, before I’m done with my first down dog pose, I feel good, am glad I started, and finish the entire routine I set out to do whether I’m winging it or using a guide on YouTube.

It’s like that for everything. Maybe not everything feels good when we start. But when we start, and are actually doing the thing, taking action, putting forth the effort, it’s easier to keep going. It’s definitely easier to keep going than our resistance and procrastination would lead us to believe in our inner monologue.

Just begin, the rest follows.

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