Posts Tagged ‘wrestling’

The Rise of Roman Who?

Posted: January 25, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoby @anarchyroll
1/24/2014

Have you heard the latest funny joke going around? It goes like this; Knock knock. Who’s there? Roman Reigns is going to be a main event player…

No this isn’t going to be a shit on Roman Reigns blog.  Roman Reigns has a good attitude, an even better head of hair, and the best possible bloodlines for a professional wrestler to come from.  But let’s all pretend we aren’t ten year old marks for a minute and face some facts.

Roman Reigns is the third wheel of The Shield. How? Why? Well there is a reason Dean Ambrose got the US Title.  Seth Rollins is the third wheel you say? Well there is a reason Rollins (Tyler Black to some of us) was the FIRST ever NXT Champion.  Roman Reigns is the muscle, the enforcer, the guy who looks that much bigger next to two certified cruiserweights.  He has no discernible mic skills, and WWE knows this, it’s why he talks the least. He can’t carry a singles match by himself at the minor or major league level, and WWE knows this, it’s why he is the only one of the Shield to not win a singles title on the main roster or developmental.

The WWWF, WWF, WWE 50 year old big man bias will ensure he gets pushed ahead of Ambrose and Rollins?  Big E Langston is already IC Champion after all.  Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson both got the IC Title early, in Barrett’s case, often. Both were big and bred in developmental.  Barrett actually knows what to do with a mic and can carry a match.  Jackson had muscles in places not seen in Scott Steiner’s heyday.  But unless you’re the Great Khali you need talent to get the big belt.

Don’t get me wrong, I personally, LOVE superman punches and Samoan wrestlers.  But 1 +1 will always equal 2 no matter how many times you say 11 and force a laugh.  WWE’s middle aged marks are being blinded by Seth Rollins’ charisma and Dean Ambrose’s character oozing and shining through the screen.  As their vision comes back to them, in a dazed like state, they are confusing the shine that Ambrose and Rollins are putting on Reigns by osmosis for major league talent.

Roman Reigns is Jim Neidhart. Roman Reigns is James Storm. Roman Reigns is Arm Anderson.  Roman Reigns is Marty Jannetty.  Roman Reigns is  Jake Youngblood.  Roman Reigns is D Von Dudley.

What do all those names have in common? They were/are all GREAT complimentary players.  They were/are GREAT secondary acts.  They were/are GREAT mid card gate keepers.  I look forward to Roman Reigns taking Umaga‘s spot in the mid card.  Remember, as IC Champion Umaga was in the defacto WrestleMania 23 main event.  Reigns can be/do something like that.

But lead a generation? Hold the Undisputed Title? Be the face of the WWE?  Stop kidding yourself.  Again don’t get me wrong, we could all do a lot worse.  Bo Dallas anyone?

My #RoyalRumble 2014 Prediction

Posted: January 13, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoby @anarchyroll
1/13/2014

The Royal Rumble is right around the corner, the fourth biggest show of the year is definitely the company’s most unique.  The show is a representation of Vince McMahon’s ability to take an existing concept and improve it. The battle royal existed for decades, the Royal Rumble is the battle royal perfected. Single entrant style, with the winner getting the top spot, at the biggest show of the year as the prize.  The only way to make it any better was to have a ladder match battle royal which is what Money in the Bank is, with an even better prize to the winner.

Royal Rumble 2014 is on paper shaping up to be one of the best cards in the history of the event. 2002 presently takes the cake in my opinion with honorable mentions to 2001 and 1992.  The Undisputed Title will be on the line, Brock Lesnar will be having a singles match with someone he has chemistry and history with, and the Rumble match itself will see the advertised return of Batista with Sheamus and RVD likely returning as well though both are presently unconfirmed.

I believe Orton will retain the Undisputed Title and Lesnar will go over on Big Show.  The real question is who will win the Rumble, as it is every year.  Though as someone who can be considered a WWE “hater” I want to give props for how much effort they have put into beefing up the Rumble undercard the past half decade.

Daniel Bryan will win the Royal Rumble. I believe the Rumble will come down to him and Bray Wyatt and Bryan will return to face and eliminate Wyatt punching his ticket to the main event of Mania. Bryan and Wyatt can have a two month TV feud to hold him over until the Undisputed Champion going into Mania is determined at the Elimination Chamber PPV in February.

Daniel Bryan is the most popular wrestler in WWE. Cena makes the money, Bryan makes the crowd pop louder and longer than Cena EVER has.  They may not buy his merch as much, he may not pop ratings, but people are coming to the arenas to shout “YES! Y ES! YES!” and watch Bryan combine the technical proficiency of Chris Benoit with the sports entertainment acting of Hulk Hogan.

I think WWE knows what they have with Bryan. I think they have been building him while the internet thinks they have been burying him. I believe he has been filling time until he has his full face run as Undisputed Champion from Mania to Summerslam like many before him. His feuds with The Authority and Wyatt Family have been his ways of proving his overall well roundedness. Proving he is a good soldier, a company man, a team player, willing to play the game, and evolve rather than just stick to his indie shtick (cough, cough Chris Hero cough cough).

Bryan as champion makes storyline sense and financial sense. I believe Bryan will fight John Cena in the main event of WrestleMania with HEAVY storyline tie in of the Bella Twins who both are dating in real life. Total Divas season two premieres around WrestleMania. Bryan and Cena are the two biggest and hottest faces of the last decade. They had a MOTY candidate the second biggest show of the  year in 2013 and are yet to rematch.

Batista, Lesnar, Sheamus, Undertaker, CM Punk, Orton, Triple H will all take care of themselves with feature gimmick matches.  Cena vs. Bryan II for the Undisputed Title in the main event of the 30th Anniversary of WrestleMania is my pick, and I’m sticking to it until Vince McMahon changes his mind ten times between the night before the Rumble and the night after the Chamber…again.

Rasslin’ 2014 will be a Very Good Year

Posted: January 3, 2014 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoajclogo2by @anarchyroll
1/2/2014

2013 started out with a lot of potential. The Rock came back, the spinner belt was retired, Hulk Hogan’s TNA contract wasn’t renewed, Jim Cornette stopped booking ROH, Brian Danielson became the biggest star in the business, and Brock Lesnar made magic with CM Punk at Summerslam in an absolute masterpiece of a pro wrestling match. However, as I’ve been reading various dirt sheets’ year in review lists, blogs, polls, etc one thing is clear…2013 was an overall down year for the business.

Ratings, attendance, and buy rates were down for each of the big three. WWE, TNA, and ROH were each at one point during the year completely unwatchable, although as per usual ROH kept their bad programming to a minimum and insanely awesome programming to a maximum. Especially as the year went on, Delirious distinguished himself as one of the best bookers of post attitude era, if not the best in my personal opinion. Many would say TNA was unwatchable the entire year, I wouldn’t argue per say, but would stick up for the last month of the BFG series and the last month of the year. We all know when WWE went downhill don’t we? I’ll give you a hint, the entire season of autumn.

I’m from Chicago, I’m not a Cubs fan but waiting until next year seems woven into my DNA whether I want it to or not. I believe 2014 will be a very good year for pro wrestling/sports entertainment. Here’s why:

WWE: Lesnar, Batista, Taker will all be in the fold from January through April. WrestleMania season is literally a 1/4 of the year and those three part timers mixed with the emerging era of midsized workhorses WWE has developed (Bryan, Punk. Cesaro, Ziggler, Ambrose, Rollins, Rhodes, Sandow) will lead to great matches by default that will only need good storytelling and production value to pop a rating, both of which are WWE’s specialties. My money is on Brian Danielson main-eventing and winning the Undisputed Title at WrestleMania XXX. Why? A gut feeling guided by pattern recognition from 24 years of watching pro wrestling.

TNA: In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by all metrics of monetary success, you haven’t, TNA Impact Wrestling has been putting on quality television for a whopping six weeks now. Although many haters shat all over the Dixie gimmick tournament, and Dixie Carter in general (deservedly so), the pacing, production, character development, and storytelling segment to segment, show to show, has become definitively solid since Bound for Glory. TNA has a history of this, see 2009, and even though I may not find the majority of the show personally entertaining, good TV principles are good TV principles, and TNA is utilizing them consistently for six weeks and counting.

ROH: As a mark for the original ECW it should come as no surprise that I find ROH to be the most entertaining company in the modern wrestling era. The fast paced, aggressive, more high spots less selling style appeals to me more personally. BUT my match of the year 2013 is CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar, which was the opposite of what I just described. Take the indyriffic matches out of it and I still say ROH is producing the best television show consistently, week in week out, month in month out, big show to big show. Everything that takes place on ROH TV means something, leads to something, and/or is connected to something that has been going on in the company for at least three months. If you bitch and moan about WWE and TNA being piss poor (which at times you’d be right) then you better be watching ROH. In case you missed it, Cornette is gone, so it’s safe to come back, Smokey Mountain of Honor died as of Final Battle 2012. 2013 was a great year for the company and unless the entire roster reports to NXT, 2014 should see them grow as big and bright as Sinclair Broadcasting is willing to monetarily invest.

WWE Universe Black Hole Sept-Nov 2013 Edition

Posted: November 9, 2013 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoajclogo1by @anarchyroll
11/8/2013

For the first time in probably a full decade, I have something in common with the common WWE fan, I haven’t watched RAW in three weeks.  As the ratings would reflect, the overall WWE product has literally gotten worse every week since Summerslam. In my opinion everything on television not involving someone with the last name Rhodes has been as unwatchable as anything Impact Wrestling has put on television in the same time period.

There was a spike for the return of Super Cena and the Five Moves of Doom.  But the novelty and bump expired quickly than the pass smart marks give him when he busts out one of his four technically proficient matches each year.

The last three months has been educational as it has taught me that the wrestling “press” are complete marks for WWE…and of course Japan the land of no promos and career shortened stiffness, rest in peace Alex Shelley, say hi to Rick Rude for me.

I watched the entire CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman Guys feud, every second of every match and every promo.  All of which was either mediocre or homoerotic, often times both.  But the internet wrestling “reporters” were shoveling it down like it was filet mignon.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I sure hope they are married to plus sized ladies, because it would explain a lot.

Brian Danielson’s castration would have been worth it if he got the title at Hell in a Cell, but, you know, he had to start a feud with a retired wrestler who in the best case scenario won’t get in the ring with him for six months.  Sounds like the Bully Ray vs. Hulk Hogan feud with worse mic skills.

But have no fear, The Big Show is here!!! Paul Wight is my favorite super heavyweight wrestler of all time by a mile.  As big as Andre and as spry as Bam Bam Bigelow.  I thought him and Sheamus had the match of the year at Hell in a Cell 2012.  But the only reason he should be within sniffing distance of the WWE Title right now is to be Daniel Bryan’s first pay per view title defense.

The Authority…what else can be said about The Authority that wasn’t said about Miley Cyrus at the VMAs?

I applaud the WWE Universe for tuning out in moderate numbers over the past month.  It’s no mass exodus like we saw during The Alliance, but what we’re seeing doesn’t require an six million viewer per episode run on the bank.  Though maybe in the future any faction in WWE shouldn’t be allowed to have its name start with The and the letter A…we’ll all be better off…

Emo AJ? I think Not

Posted: October 13, 2013 in Anarchy Journal Constitutional
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potatoshooterlogoby @anarchyroll
10/11/13

Stop calling AJ Styles Emo AJ, that hair is clearly Scene.  The emo title is clearly warranted for kayfabe heel Dixie Carter, living proof that acting isn’t as easy as the greats make it look.  Oh Total Non Stop Action Wrestling what has become of you?

In the fall of 2009 you were as consistently entertaining as any wrestling product since the end of the Attitude Era.  AJ Styles was defending the World Title against Chris Daniels and Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle was in a personal feud with Nigel McGuiness, Amazing Red and Homicide were going at it for the X Title, and the tag division saw the Dudley Boys wrapping up putting over Beer Money, the Motor City Machine Guns, and the British Invasion.

Now, what?  What exactly has Hulk Hogan and Eric Bishoff left behind? What can still be blamed on Vince Russo? EV 2.0, Fourtune, Immortal, Aces and Eights? They rely on faction warefare like Michael Bay relies on explosions. Name me the top five contenders in each division? Can the top five be named across every division? Belts don’t matter you say, okay. Name me the three storylines that Bound For Glory IX is being built and hyped around?

Hulk Hogan’s highlights in TNA were recently shown, not counting the pyro included in his entrances can you count how many on more than one hand? How many total highlights/successes were there in four years of his tenure?  I can’t believe how much good will that TNA and Dixie carter have spoiled over the years.

I used to be such a fan, such a defender, such an apologizer for TNA. I’ll still put their years 2005 and 2007 against WWE month by month, match by match, angle by angle.  But it isn’t the same company anymore, literally, it’s Impact Wrestling now.

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