Archive for the ‘Anarchy Journal Constitutional’ Category

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by @anarchyroll

One of the greatest high flyers in the history of professional wrestling died recently.

Hayabusa (real name Eiji Ezaki) died on March 3, 2016.

People of a certain age likely first discovered Hayabusa under the name Hannibal in the Nintendo 64 video game WCW vs nWo World Tour.

Many US wrestling fans discovered Hayabusa while at in the wrestling VHS/DVD aisle at Sun Coast and/or Best Buy and reading about the wildest sounding deathmatches in the history of wrestling from the FMW promotion.

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However, most US wrestling fans were introduced to Hayabusa in one of the most entertaining tag team matches of all time, at one of the most entertaining pay per views of all time, ECW Heatwave 1998.

Hayabusa innovated the Falcon Arrow and the Phoenix Splash. Moves used regularly in the modern era by Jay Briscoe of ROH and Seth Rollins of WWE. Two men who a year ago at this time, respectively held the world titles for two of the three biggest pro wrestling promotions in the US.

Hayabusa was so far ahead of his time, that he would just in the decade be surrounded with people of his speed, style, and talent despite debuting in 1991. Hayabusa would have fit like a glove in CZW in 2003, ROH in 2005, DGUSA in 2008, PWG in 2012, and of present day Lucha Underground seems custom made for him.

The in ring tragedy that paralyzed him is nothing short of horrific. I won’t link to the video here, but you can look it up if you’re a glutton for the suffering of others. The fact that he walked again just last year was amazing and brings strong goosebumps to me now just as it did when I first read the story.

Hayabusa to me was imaginary, video game wrestling come to life. Every person I’ve ever shown that Heatwave ’98 match to always has the same look on their face when they see him, child like awe and amazement.

The man, the myth, the legend. A series of words as befitting Hayabusa as any professional athlete or entertainer in history. For a fan of my taste he is the ultimate combination of wrestlers. Cactus Jack meets Shawn Michaels. Abdullah the Butcher meets Brian Pillman. The Sandman meets Too Cold Scorpio. AJ Styles meets Abyss. Pentagon Jr meets Prince Puma.

Hayabusa was a hero, Hayabusa was an innovator, Haybusa was a legend, Hayabusa will Rest In Power.

 

by @anarchyroll

One of the most oppressive governments in the world enacting a science fiction based methods for stopping crime and terrorism…what could go wrong?

The Minority Report was an alright movie because of how fantastical the concept of solving crimes before they happen is. Fantastical in a free society at least.

Don’t let the fact that it is the largest economy in the world fool you, China is not a free society. Their communist government has their fingers in everything. In the case of the electronic data of the citizens of China, the government prefers a hand on the throat instead of a finger on the pulse.

I wonder if this attempt to stop crime and terrorism before it happens is in any way correlated with the ideological purification campaign the government has admittedly been undergoing.

Intense cultural censorship, absolutely zero digital privacy, and an authoritarian government. People in America seem paranoid that Donald Trump, a benefactor of a free market society in a democracy is going to descend the country into a racist, fascist state. Yet, the country that owns over a trillion dollars of US debt, is enacting a reality on its citizenry beyond what George Orwell could have imagined.

An authoritarian regime using data mining to predict crime before it happens seems more troubling than a real estate mogul making it halfway through a democratic election process. There is so much going on in this world it is impossible for a person to put care and effort into all the news that’s fit to print.

But let us keep the proverbial eye out as technology and power continue to intersect with each other, so we don’t one day wake up blindfolded to a materialized science fiction dystopia.

Think that a Matrix movie like dystopia is pure fantasy? What exactly does this image remind you of?

 

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By @anarchyroll

Life can be funny, and by funny, I mean frustrating as fucking hell why the fuck is this bullshit happening?!!!!

That was basically how every fan of Daniel Bryan/Brian Danielson felt when he retired earlier this month. A very low low. Premature retirement for one of the greatest and most popular of all time can’t be spun as positive.

The low of Bryan’s retirement completely overshadowed the ecstasy high that alternative wrestling fans had been feeling in the days following the long anticipated and even longer overdue debut of AJ Styles. Styles’ debut in the Royal Rumble match and subsequent programs with The Miz and Chris Jericho have been great. Only fantasy booking nitpickers could find flaws in how Styles has been showcased thus far.

AJ Styles is the biggest name and greatest star created outside of WWE since the end of the Monday Night War. He is one of only two legitimate superstars created by TNA Wrestling (Bobby Roode the other). His arrival and white glove treatment is validation of both him and his fan base.

His arrival also signifies the final deathnail in the coffin of the previous paradigm of WWE Superstar requirements. Young, tall, bodybuilder, without any accent, or experience outside of the WWE system. AJ Styles is an old (by pro wrestling standards), short, gymnast, southerner who is the face of alternative professional wrestling since 2002. The signings of Fergal Devitt, Kevin Steen, El Generico, and Samoa Joe were all fine and good, but AJ Styles was more successful in the non WWE world than all of them put together. AJ Styles is the embodiment in every way of the type of wrestler that WWE does not sign and showcase on their main roster.

But none of that matters right now does it? Not now, not for another month or two. Why? Because Daniel Bryan had to retire due to injury.

Daniel Bryan was the next John Cena, Steve Austin, Bret Hart, Hulk Hogan, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, Buddy Rodgers. Daniel Bryan was THE guy. The new face of WWE. The leader of the next generation. The main event player for the next five to ten years. The fans couldn’t have been happier since they went to war with Vince McMahon over the issue and won.

And now he’s gone. Cut down in his prime, right as his prime got started. How many televised matches did Daniel Bryan have after Wrestlemania 30?

Life isn’t fair, Daniel Bryan being forced to retire is not fair. AJ Styles’ ten year overdue WWE debut being lost in the shuffle of an entire generation of fans’ grieving the loss of their hero isn’t fair.

Daniel Bryan was so great, that if he never debuted in WWE, he would be the other face of alternative pro wrestling next to AJ Styles. Brian Danielson is still to this day the greatest star Ring of Honor has ever produced. He was an American indy scene main eventer for half a decade and international pro wrestling title holder years before ever debuting on the first season of the NXT on SyFy tournament.

AJ Styles is still the face of TNA Wrestling even though he hasn’t been there for two years. That company was built on his shoulders. He left as their World Champion and went on to become the most successful American in Japanese pro wrestling history with only maybe Big Van Vader in his league. He also main evented the last ROH pay per view of 2015, a company he first debuted for at their third show ever in 2002.

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Less than a month before debuting at the Royal Rumble, Styles co main evented a show in the Tokyo Dome against the second most popular and profitable of the last decade in Japanese wrestling (Shinsuke Nakamura).

The last memory of Daniel Bryan’s in ring career will be standing on top of a ladder, as WWE Intercontinental Champion, leading 70,000 people in a YES chant. Not a bad way to go out but not what anyone wanted, expected, or had a nightmare about.

What we can hope for is that AJ Styles will be slid into Daniel Bryan’s main event spot like Rey Mysterio slid into Eddie Guerrero’s spot in 2006. More importantly, hopefully Bryan’s rise and quick fall will serve as an impetus for WWE to strike while the iron is hot for wrestlers who get over in the future.

Daniel Bryan should have been the guy The Rock feuded with, not John Cena. Cena was over and overly exposed three years before his feud with Rock. Bryan had emerged as the most loved babyface in the company coming out of WrestleMania 28. Cena could have easily been slotted to continue his feud with Punk going into 29. A feud which btw, never had a blowoff.

Hopefully WWE will accept rather than resist when a super junior heavyweight gets over more than Vince McMahon’s chosen super heavyweight superman.

AJ Styles is already more over as a babyface than Roman Reigns. His babyface reactions in the arena are second to no full time wrestler on the active WWE roster with the possible exception of Dean Ambrose. But Styles is already selling more merchandise than Ambrose.

Will WWE do the right thing and listen to their fans? They are already paying AJ Styles like he’s a main eventer. They have to be considering what Styles was being offered via duel contracts with ROH and NJPW. So lets see where Styles is slotted both at WrestleMania and after it.

What would a healthy Daniel Bryan be doing at WrestleMania and Summerslam this year? We know what that answer should be. And that should be what AJ Styles is doing. I’m excited to find out. But not as excited as I am sad that the American Dragon will fly no more.

One legend exits, another arrives, and the machine rolls on.

 

 

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By @anarchyroll

If you can read this, then you’ve seen Deadpool already. The real question is, have you read reviews of the film in the internet blogsphere?!

Most people dont give a shit about movie reviews from credible sources, let alone from people on WordPress. But hey, the trailer is embedded below this half paragraph, and you know you want to see it again for the first time since you watched it five times in a row two weeks ago.

What can I say about this movie that the three shit stains who sat behind me in the theater didnt say every god damn time there was a quiet scene?! I’m sorry they CGI shadowed his dick in that naked fight scene Janet, but could you please shut the fuck up and stop crumpling your bag of popcorn every ten fucking seconds?!!

Where was I? Oh yeah, the movie review. Here we go; Maxim effort…

Synopsis; if you don’t have a stick, rod, gerbel, or crucifix up your ass you’re going to love it. Seeing this movie was easily the hardest I laughed since my mom died two months ago. Escapism never felt so sweet or so vulgar.

If you haven’t seen it, and like comic books, comic book movies, action movies, and/or dirty dark humor than this movie is for you.

If it were up to me, all comic book movies would be hard Rs. Why? Because fuck little kids that’s why! Aaannnnnnd that definitely didn’t come out right. But you know what I mean. I’m clearly making an amateur attempt to apply Deadpool’s style of humor and forth wall breaking to this movie review blog.

If I keep this up I’ll be able to afford that premium theme in no time. Then I’ll start raking in that internet cash. Yeah…

What am I writing again? That’s right a movie review. Because their definitely isn’t enough opinion based content about comic book movie quality on the internet.

It was great, not good, great and the sequel with Cable can’t come out soon enough.

Now, to the imortant question, where’s the chimichanga I ordered on GrubHub?!!

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by @anarchyroll

Global Disaster

There is something about those two words paired with each other that grabs one’s attention and holds it like a vice. When the two words are placed next to each other by a scientist studying ten years worth of data from NASA, the vice is more like the jaws of life.

When that decade long study involves an additional 35 years of weather data? Eek. BUT, this is not another global warming warning. This is about the next wave of haves and have nots. Economic inequality? That is so 20th century.

A world with such water scarcity that wars are fought for it? Seems like science fiction dystopian bullshit. Except if you live in California during the last half decade, or the country of Ethiopia or the continent of Australia.

The study of Famiglietti et al, directly talks about the rich-get-richer-mechanism and emerging classes of haves and have nots in regards to water access. That is the language of the scientist.

That prospect wouldn’t be worrisome if economic poverty wasn’t a thing or wasn’t increasing or wasn’t pervasive or wasn’t silently condoned by the actions of the first world.

The rich get richer and the poor get poorer paradigm applied to water access will be the literal manifestation of trickle down economics. People will literally be dependent on the miniscule droplets of the source of life to survive while the haves bathe their terminally ill pets in triple filtered, reverse osmosis purified agua.

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Global Disaster

Groundwater depletion coupled with rising sea levels and no meaningful action being done about either while hoping human beings will share resources voluntarily after those resources have been consolidated involuntarily.

Sounds like a recipe for disaster…..Sounds like another day, in Frackishima.